What to do if she has a boyfriend...?

[Prettyboy Dee]

You wanted to fvck then found out she has a boyfriend? So continue on with the original plan, nothing changes, fvck her.

 

[coyote_astro]

She isn't worth chasing, and even if she were, the act of chasing makes the catch less satisfying...unless you just enjoy the chase.

However, my rule on If She Has A Boyfriend is that you don't deliberately upset the status quo, unless you're offering an upgrade. In other words, if she's headed towards eventual marriage, and all you want is a hook up, you leave it alone, unless she comes to you.

Fair enough, it's true that wasting too much energy for one chick isn't worth it, unless it comes easy.

 

[coyote_astro]

By the way I haven't given her any attention the past 10 days or so, but she has texted me random stuff at least three times.
Today we had a major snow storm in the area, and she randomly texted me something along the lines of "omg, look at all that snow outside?".

I wanted to say, who cares, are you gonna s*ck my d!ck or not?!

 

[nicksaiz65]

What you do depends on what you want.

If you are looking for a girlfriend... then forget about her.

If you just want to be friends with this chick, treat her like you would a male friend.

If all you want to do is bang her... then do what you do with any chick, but just ignore any mention of a BF or husband, or whatever she thinks is going on in her mind at the moment... pretend she didn't say it. Not trying to be the morality police, but getting women who are in relationships and who are giving you indicators of interest are actually the easiest to get. But be warned of the drama... I get enough stupid looks and primate posturing from dudes when I don't try any sh!t with 'their women'... The chicks will flirt with me, and somehow in some mate guarding dumb@ss' mind, I'm doing something other than just being myself. My biggest problem isn't with women... it's the fools that somehow think they own them.

Here's my thing... How do you know when to do each one? How do you know when a chick will actually cheat on her boyfriend?

This situation happens to me a lot. I'll get talking to a chick, we get along nice, and then I find out(usually through a third party or social media) that she has a boyfriend.

And she'll be posting a ton of Snaps with her boyfriend and sh*t like that.

What's the correct "player" way to handle it? If you've got a chick who has a boyfriend, what's the right way to make a move on her? How do you know if she'll cheat on her boyfriend or just instantly blow you out?

I know that girls cheat on their boyfriends/husband's all the time. I just wanted to know how you can tell if they'll cheat, or if you should just add them to your social circle.

 

[dude99]

Today we had a major snow storm in the area, and she randomly texted me something along the lines of "omg, look at all that snow outside?".

Ignore. Delete.

 

[coyote_astro]

Ignore. Delete.

And it got more annoying..On Monday she texted me "send me another funny video, I'm bored!"
In the past we have exchanged stand up comedy videos, which is a common interest of ours and I was fine with that.

But the way she asked this time, coupled with the fact that I know the boyfriend works double shifts on Mondays, made me feel like an "entertainer".

Maybe it's all in my head and it was a bad attempt to get in contact, but I don't think so and did not respond..
Just venting here, but comments welcome

 

[Glassguy]

And it got more annoying..On Monday she texted me "send me another funny video, I'm bored!"

Your response should have been:

"I have a better idea. Why dont you come over and we can entertain each other."

If she brings up the bf (as in I have a bf/he wouldn't like me coming over/etc) say:

"I'm not interested in hearing about him. Just interested in you coming over. If that's a problem and you cant keep a secret, we probably shouldnt talk behind his back anymore. Let me know, I'm fine either way".

There ya go. She either starts coming over to smash or move on and dont contact her again.

The answer is always NO if you dont ask.

 

[Medina]

She never mentioned a boyfriend (but I had a suspicion) until her roommate (that I met) gave it away.

In my experience this isn't a good sign that she even likes you

Whenever girls fall for me they always spill about the bf. They open up like a can of emoticons

Same situation with @nicksaiz65 post above, he's finding out indirectly and those situations are going no where. But with @RangerMIke they DID open up and I'm willing to bet he fvcked those women

Dark stuff isn't it. Next level female psychology

I once had a girlfriend who cheated on me and prior to it happening she spent the whole night talking about me to him. Not bad things, she was just slowly opening up. That's how they do it

 

[dude99]

And it got more annoying..On Monday she texted me "send me another funny video, I'm bored!"
In the past we have exchanged stand up comedy videos, which is a common interest of ours and I was fine with that.

But the way she asked this time, coupled with the fact that I know the boyfriend works double shifts on Mondays, made me feel like an "entertainer".

Maybe it's all in my head and it was a bad attempt to get in contact, but I don't think so and did not respond..
Just venting here, but comments welcome

She is treating you like her court gesture for her entertainment while getting plowed for sex by another guy.

Stop orbiting her. If ignore delete doesn't work then block.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Oh man, the dating scene in SF must really suck; I'm glad to hear that it's doable there as well through proper action.
Time to step it up myself!

SF Bay Area isn’t that bad.

 

[RangerMIke]

Here's my thing... How do you know when to do each one? How do you know when a chick will actually cheat on her boyfriend?

You don't until you try something.

This situation happens to me a lot. I'll get talking to a chick, we get along nice, and then I find out(usually through a third party or social media) that she has a boyfriend.

Most women have something 'like' a boyfriend, one I dated called him her BAE... I had to look that up.... He thinks he's a BF, but to her he's a placeholder until something better comes along. We hooked up only once... I must not have been what she was looking for. She reaches out every now and then... I try to set something up, and she goes silent... No problem, she wasn't that good in bed anyway.

Anyway back to your question. Hard to say really... you just know. She gives you indicators of interest, just like any woman. But you won't really know if she'll cross that line until you try something. If she's open, she'll jump you so fast you won't know what hit you.

And she'll be posting a ton of Snaps with her boyfriend and sh*t like that.

In my experience women who post lots about a BF they've been with for a while is just trying to convince herself she's on the right path. It's completely normal with a new BF to see lots of social media stuff. But if a healthy relationship that slows down.

What's the correct "player" way to handle it? If you've got a chick who has a boyfriend, what's the right way to make a move on her? How do you know if she'll cheat on her boyfriend or just instantly blow you out?

So some women... well they'll hint around... say some slightly negative stuff about him. Could be anything really, some examples: "Orly has an opinion about everything.", "I just wish Jake would grow up a little.", "Can you help Bob with his business idea... he really needs some help.", I got a text from one women in the middle of the night that said, "Can you believe he just dropped me off and left me home alone?" Anytime a woman says anything like this, well... while it might be tempting to join in and reinforce whatever dig she just put in... doing THAT is a fast trip to being her gay male girlfriend. What you do is defend him. Say stuff like "Well, he can't be that bad or you wouldn't be with him." If you join in she'll she'll start defending him. Then you are yacking about the BF... you have to change the subject... move on as fast as you can to another topic, then just treat her like an unattached chick. If things are going well, he stops coming up, at some point you read the situation and make a move... then you will know.

I know that girls cheat on their boyfriends/husband's all the time. I just wanted to know how you can tell if they'll cheat, or if you should just add them to your social circle.

It's mostly about timing.... and there really is nothing you can do about that. You just need to let her know you are interested in her and it's just like any other woman. If she is open she'll make it easy. Nothing you can do will make her cheat... she has to decide this is what she wants, then just treat her like any woman that is unattached.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You don't until you try something.

Most women have something 'like' a boyfriend, one I dated called him her BAE... I had to look that up.... He thinks he's a BF, but to her he's a placeholder until something better comes along. We hooked up only once... I must not have been what she was looking for. She reaches out every now and then... I try to set something up, and she goes silent... No problem, she wasn't that good in bed anyway.

Anyway back to your question. Hard to say really... you just know. She gives you indicators of interest, just like any woman. But you won't really know if she'll cross that line until you try something. If she's open, she'll jump you so fast you won't know what hit you.

In my experience women who post lots about a BF they've been with for a while is just trying to convince herself she's on the right path. It's completely normal with a new BF to see lots of social media stuff. But if a healthy relationship that slows down.

So some women... well they'll hint around... say some slightly negative stuff about him. Could be anything really, some examples: "Orly has an opinion about everything.", "I just wish Jake would grow up a little.", "Can you help Bob with his business idea... he really needs some help.", I got a text from one women in the middle of the night that said, "Can you believe he just dropped me off and left me home alone?" Anytime a woman says anything like this, well... while it might be tempting to join in and reinforce whatever dig she just put in... doing THAT is a fast trip to being her gay male girlfriend. What you do is defend him. Say stuff like "Well, he can't be that bad or you wouldn't be with him." If you join in she'll she'll start defending him. Then you are yacking about the BF... you have to change the subject... move on as fast as you can to another topic, then just treat her like an unattached chick. If things are going well, he stops coming up, at some point you read the situation and make a move... then you will know.

It's mostly about timing.... and there really is nothing you can do about that. You just need to let her know you are interested in her and it's just like any other woman. If she is open she'll make it easy. Nothing you can do will make her cheat... she has to decide this is what she wants, then just treat her like any woman that is unattached.

God tier breakdown. Thanks. I guess all you really can do is go for it. If she's open, she's open. If she isn't, you back off. You gotta step on that tripwire and see what happens I suppose.

Here's the last thing that confused me. Hypothetically say you're getting with a girl with a boyfriend. You're making out with her heavy, about to bring her to the bed to fvck. Or just about to make out in general. She says "You know I have a boyfriend right." Do you take that as a sh*t test and plow through, or do you take that as "back off?"

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

She says "You know I have a boyfriend right." Do you take that as a sh*t test and plow through, or do you take that as "back off?"

Why would you stop? Keep going.....

If she cared that much why would she be heavily making out with you?

 

[nicksaiz65]

Why would you stop? Keep going.....

If she cared that much why would she be heavily making out with you?

Yeah, that actually is a pretty stupid question now that I think about it lol.

I guess what I'm trying to say is what to do if she hits you with that "I have a boyfriend" as you're trying to bring her to your place to fvck lol.

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

Yeah, that actually is a pretty stupid question now that I think about it lol.

I guess what I'm trying to say is what to do if she hits you with that "I have a boyfriend" as you're trying to bring her to your place to fvck lol.

Ignore it, keep gaming, keep flirting ect do the same thing you would do if she never said that.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Ignore it, keep gaming, keep flirting ect do the same thing you would do if she never said that.

Great. Can't wait to try this out. I'm in college, I see girls cheat on their boyfriends all the freaking time. Makes me never want to get in a relationship lol

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

Great. Can't wait to try this out. I'm in college, I see girls cheat on their boyfriends all the freaking time. Makes me never want to get in a relationship lol

I feel ya, it's not just girls though, guys cheat all the time as well, it goes both ways, committed relationships are not natural, how the hell do you expect someone to be with one person without messing with others? Everyone likes variety

Nothing to fear, its apart of the game, like death is apart of life. Just have to accept it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I feel ya, it's not just girls though, guys cheat all the time as well, it goes both ways, committed relationships are not natural, how the hell do you expect someone to be with one person without messing with others? Everyone likes variety

Nothing to fear, its apart of the game, like death is apart of life. Just have to accept it.

I've heard some say that monagamy is simply unrealistic lol

 

[MrWood]

me: I'd like to ask you out for drinks
her: I have a boyfriend
me: I didnt ask you if you have a boyfriend, I asked you out for drinks

 

[RangerMIke]

Here's the last thing that confused me. Hypothetically say you're getting with a girl with a boyfriend. You're making out with her heavy, about to bring her to the bed to fvck. Or just about to make out in general. She says "You know I have a boyfriend right." Do you take that as a sh*t test and plow through, or do you take that as "back off?"

This is just things women say. Any woman that is about to cheat of their partner will always say something like this. "I've never done this before.", "I love my BF", "What are you doing?".... It's the point where her emotional brain is fighting with her rational brain.... one of these is going to win out, and there isn't a fvcking thing you can do about it. She'll either say, "No, this isn't right", grab her sh!t and leave. Or she'll give in. Let me repeat THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO THAT WILL GET HER TO SEX, NOTHING.

However, you can do things that fvck sh!t up. She is not going to cheat with you if she thinks you have a big fvcking mouth. You will fvck this up if you have EVER said ANYTHING about ANY women you have dated in the past. NEVER DO THAT. You might have said something a couple of hours early about an ex, and she'll remember that and it will trigger her rational brain to stop. Don't overreact to this, in fact it's best not to say anything, she has to believe it is not a problem for you and that you are not going to think less of her if she goes with her emotions. Again... if you fvcked this up, you did it early on when you were talking with her. She has to trust you, too many guys think this is about the moment... it's not... it's about the entire time you've known her. Women don't forget anything a man she is interested in enough to sleep with... you could be right in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session, then she remembers something you said 2 weeks earlier that indicates you can't be trusted.... then her rational brain triggers... then you are done.

Just keep moving forward and escalate like you would with any woman, if she backs off, you back off, then try again in a few minutes... until she says 'no' or 'stop'... at that point you throw the ride into reverse and back up quick. But really at this moment she is trying to find out if you care she is in a 'relationship', you can not give her any indication that this matters to you at all it's over. You do this by ignoring this... she's just a woman who wants to have some fun... her 'status' is irrelevant, and if anything happens, you take responsibility for what happened.

This is one of the reasons I think PUAs are full of cr@p. They sell you on techniques and formula about situations. It's not about what you do in any given moment, it's about who you are as a man. Be the best version of yourself possible, go for what you want, and never EVER talk about any women you have ever been with, and if a woman is interested then your reputation of being a non-judgemental person who knows how to keep his fvcking mouth shut will carry you to the finish line. She has to believe you will be okay with whatever she runs with, she doesn't want you to turn into a creepy @ss stalker, or that sh!t will get around. If after she sleeps with you, and she decides you are done, that you will just go away and pretend nothing ever happened. If she just wants to keep you on the side for the occasional hook-up, that you are going to be okay with that as well. Now if she falls for you, that's another problem... and depending on who her relationship dude is, could be deadly. Just this past week a man was ambushed by an ex-BF coming out of 'his girl's' house and killed. This happened not too far from where I live.