"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Your first, her second.

Duster11

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DJs!

Has it ever been that you are/were in a relationship with a woman who is/was your first girlfriend but you are/were not her first boyfriend?

If yes, how did you feel about it?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Sofar

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Yes. Felt fine about it tbh. Obviously be nicer if you were each other’s first relationship but it barely matters in the long run
 

Spaz

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Doesn't matter in the long run but yes she is less invested than you. It's called "diminishing marginal utility"
I've always thought of you as an enthusiastic entertainer who speaks of outlandish stories abt mad women who destroyed ur love multiple times per month and now diminishing marginal utility?

But it seems you don't feel the same way.

It could be that extreme inferiority complex of yours.
 

MrWood

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you are/were in a relationship with a woman who is/was your first girlfriend but you are/were not her first boyfriend?
are you?
 

Poonani Maker

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I know a woman (should say 'girl'), very virginal, now 38, who I see every Thursday (if I don't see, then I maintain contact via text). She's still stuck in sorority college mindset and ways with the constant shiny cheery beaming smiling Christ is good walk or gliding across the ground be it gravel or dirt or pavement or office floor. She's STILL wearing the queens crown (in Her mind). I do not think that she has Ever had a boyfriend (who's f'd her anyway, maybe one that's kissed her/felt her up), but what do 'I' know? 38 years is a Long time. Anyway, she's VERY "desperate-appearing" in her texts to me and ALWAYS texts Last. For months I've never responded to her texts because I'm too busy and she's just basically telling me something that I don't need to do so I don't even say "have a great weekend!" or whatever likes she always spices her messages with to crickets on my end. I finally initial a message to her this week because she Never sent a message cause she'd forgot she says. Then some back n' forth and she's making it personal. I barely blip words and she pounces on it to always text back. She has NO as5 now at 38, and is a bit hefty now (women can't help it, they just can't), but she has a white collar gal Face (rosy red and clear/clean), though you can tell she's been doin her own chores in her house for decades (with no help for no man). Her house now though is worth like 3 times what she paid for it, she got in early before our area blew up and is cost-prohibitive for most people, so I mean, I know, that she would add quite a bit to my assets due to her luck of having an expensive home that wasn't any more expensive than mine 10 years ago. She has postponed motherhood, "boyfriends," a LIFE, ALL her life. She's norwegian. Her desperation must be off the charts, but she maintains her unicorness.. her state of being, her virginal afraid of guys safe behind her bunker comportment. In my mind, she's just a gal, why so hung up on sex? Your religion, babe? Your Saint Paul deception? which Jesus never endorsed or said or taught that you should beat yourself with a whip of sex-denial all your life? THAT's her problem, this false teaching. I could never really change her mind, I mean I'd speak my peace and tell her what's what, but her loyalty to false tradition would only snap her back to what's not working for her. It would be stepping out in to the unknown, the patterns that she could not navigate, so she huddles in her safety, thinking she's "being 'good'" or "Christ-like" when we don't even know for sure that Christ wasn't married or didn't have "sex." It's Paul's teaching that tells us Sex is Evil.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

MrWood

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the question is, why are you not boning her?
 

Medina

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I always find the "first guy" for a girl is normally a regrettable and unfortunate experience
 

zekko

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My first girlfriend in high school had a boyfriend before me. I didn't really think much of it at the time, but looking back on it I can see that there was some difference in experience there that probably resulted in some insecurity on my part.
 
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