So after no contact and your meeting the exgf for the first time...need advise

[mrgoodstuff]

No, one will do it if she does what they like to do which is take a few rude parting shots and demonstrate cold solipsism, or even worse you actually ****.

Agree after further thought that its playing with fire.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

UPDATE...so she came over and we talked about a lot things like our pets, how she was doing, how I was doing etc etc..stayed away from the fight issues for for about an hour. She started to bring it up and I graciously said were not going to talk about it..She got upset and said she had to go which I said was fine and see you later. So I am now going No Contact again. I believe this is the correct way to handle this. Thanks for the advise guys both the believers and the non-believers.

Bingo. That discussion opened you up so she could reinsert control.

 

[lamath]

UPDATE...so she came over and we talked about a lot things like our pets, how she was doing, how I was doing etc etc..stayed away from the fight issues for for about an hour. She started to bring it up and I graciously said were not going to talk about it..She got upset and said she had to go which I said was fine and see you later. So I am now going No Contact again. I believe this is the correct way to handle this. Thanks for the advise guys both the believers and the non-believers.

Well done... she did not get what she wanted out of this.
She wanted to know that you were still there for her, did not get the anwser she wanted.
That just made her hamster spin.....i predict that she will contact you again soon enought

 

[bcude]

UPDATE...so she came over and we talked about a lot things like our pets, how she was doing, how I was doing etc etc..stayed away from the fight issues for for about an hour. She started to bring it up and I graciously said were not going to talk about it..She got upset and said she had to go which I said was fine and see you later. So I am now going No Contact again. I believe this is the correct way to handle this. Thanks for the advise guys both the believers and the non-believers.

Don't understand. She broke up with you because she became jealous one night and you had a big fight over it. So what was her reason for the breakup?
Sounds more like you had an argument, not that feelings disappeared or anything.
If it ended over that it was a very fragile relationship from the start tbh.

 

[derby1]

Why would you waste your time going to meet an ex? The only thing it will do is validate her and tell her you still want her.

OP this^ read it 50 times, everything to do with women is need for chaos drama or validation, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU(so to speak)

if she did, she would say "Hey im so sorry i behaved the way i did, losing you is the worst thing that happened to me", (and you would make out).....

I had an ex come back after 4 YEARS!!!! i actually gave her the benefit of the doubt,thought we could hang out , thought she might have grown up

NO she ghosted me as soon as she took a sniff id still hit it, i fortunately expected it , so my mind was protected

 

[mrgoodstuff]

OP this^ read it 50 times, everything to do with women is need for chaos drama or validation, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU(so to speak)

if she did, she would say "Hey im so sorry i behaved the way i did, losing you is the worst thing that happened to me", (and you would make out).....

I had an ex come back after 4 YEARS!!!! i actually gave her the benefit of the doubt,thought we could hang out , thought she might have grown up

NO she ghosted me as soon as she took a sniff id still hit it, i fortunately expected it , so my mind was protected

What would you do if you DID want to hit it.?

 

[derby1]

do

What would you do if you DID want to hit it.?

do you mean how would i approach? Telling one ex i was happy to just be friends worked a treat a few years back, it sent her insane and right round my house

 

[mrgoodstuff]

do

do you mean how would i approach? Telling one ex i was happy to just be friends worked a treat a few years back, it sent her insane and right round my house

Ok. So you had an interaction which kept her on the hook? Did yoy string her along with may be and possibly?

 

[Spaz]

I don't understand why some men even be bothered with NC but then initiates contact later on...

If its a technique to get women to comply then that's pretty feminine.

You all do know this is what women does when trying to get their men to be more supplicating.

 

[Rawksteddy]

Get ready for the sh1t tests

Don't say Things like this or any variation
1. I missed you
2. Let's get back together
3. I want to make things work this time
4. I'm sorry for how I acted back then
5. I was hoping deep down I'd see you again
6. I love you
7. I still care about you
8. I haven't talked to anyone else since we split
9. I haven't had sex with anyone since we broke up
10. What are you doing tommorow, I'm free all week, I want to see you again soon

What do you think happens if the guy acts like a belligerent *******??

 

[Rawksteddy]

I don't understand why some men even be bothered with NC but then initiates contact later on...

If its a technique to get women to comply then that's pretty feminine.

You all do know this is what women does when trying to get their men to be more supplicating.

I think it’s feminine if the guy initiated contact. But if the woman initiated the contact then it’s meh. Because it’s not masculine to chase and be a big afc right?

 

[17 shots]

What do you think happens if the guy acts like a belligerent *******??

You mean in this exact situation OP is in?

 

[dude99]

OP this^ read it 50 times, everything to do with women is need for chaos drama or validation, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU(so to speak)

if she did, she would say "Hey im so sorry i behaved the way i did, losing you is the worst thing that happened to me", (and you would make out).....

I had an ex come back after 4 YEARS!!!! i actually gave her the benefit of the doubt,thought we could hang out , thought she might have grown up

NO she ghosted me as soon as she took a sniff id still hit it, i fortunately expected it , so my mind was protected

Been there where an ex wants to reconnect years down the road and see if they can use you for validation or a quick fix. It happens all the time. When chicks get dumped if they themselves didnt monkey branch to the next guy it leaves them disoriented and they always look back to previous relationships. They always do. It is how you know they have been recently dumped, they suddenly reach out, out of the blue. They are looking for quick validation.

If you live by the rule of giving them one chance per life time you remove all chance of them doing this to you. Whether it be one week one month one year even 4 years later. One chance. When they blow it they are out for good.

 

[Spaz]

I think it’s feminine if the guy initiated contact. But if the woman initiated the contact then it’s meh. Because it’s not masculine to chase and be a big afc right?

Once a man has dismissed a woman, she no longer exists in his domain.

There is nothing else to talk abt, figure abt, negotiate abt except for moving on.

 

[Spaz]

If you live by the rule of giving them one chance per life time you remove all chance of them doing this to you. Whether it be one week one month one year even 4 years later. One chance. When they blow it they are out for good.

Exactly.

 

[Rawksteddy]

You mean in this exact situation OP is in?

Yes

 

[17 shots]

Yes

It really just depends on the woman, and the circumstances. In cases where the woman did you wrong, it would actually help you to be a jerk towards her after NC vs welcoming her back with open arms. In cases where YOU are the one who did wrong, it wouldn't really help

It's hard for me to say if it would help in OP exact situation, because it's really a he said she said kind of situation. His girl claims he was all over some other chick, but she could have just been drunk and making a big deal about nothing. Only OP knows the truth. If he indeed did nothing seriously wrong, then he could definitely get away with being a jerk to her when she comes back around, because she would know she was wrong, and she's the one who needs to make things right