Trouble with girl I'm dating (Resistance)

[ARealCharmer]

I've been out with this girl 4 times. Here's the background...She's a foreigner from Colombia living and working here without her papers (illegally). Already, it's a red flag because she could be looking for someone to marry for her papers...She's only 23 and lives with her mom who is doing the same thing haha.

Anyway, I think she is using me...We've been out 4 times and I've already paid almost 80 dollars on her...The first time, we went out to play mini-golf and then went to a club. I paid for her ticket and a drink....because she wanted a beer...We went to another bar and said she was thirty again...So she once again expected me to pay...10 bucks for a shot unreal....Then later on said she was hungry...Again expected me to pay and I did...

She hardly has any money and a crappy job so it's not a good situation. It's called taking advantage...At the end of the night, we kissed very passionately.

Date two---We went ice skating and again I paid...She didn't ask for anything else...Then we ended that on a kiss...

I've been getting good kino on her touching her legs and neck and lower body everytime.

3rd date---We were going to the beach but it rained so she suggested a movie (again expecting me to pay)....It was full so we went to Starbucks and she ordered a drink and sandwich because she was hungry...Again she expected me to pay...We kissed very briefly.

4th date...This is where I started to get frusterated....I was very tired and she didn't like my attitude when I picked her up because I was so tired....We went to a club because she wanted to dance and she was acting like bitchy because she didn't like the music and was barely dancing....Before we started, she said she wanted a drink and again she expected me to pay....And she even walked away from the bar....

At the end, I asked her why she was being so distant and she said because we are just "going out" and not b/f g/f she won't kiss me whenever during the date....Very weird...

Then was I like, well let's be b/f and g/f (I wasn't serious about this) just wanted to see how she would act...Then we started kissing and I made a move to touch her butt and she got all weird and stopped me and said that she doesn't want me to touch her butt...I've never had that happen...I told her that well since we are b/f g/f...in a normal relationship, both of us have the right to touch each other and all that good stuff...Which is what always happens in any relationship...Can you imagine trying to have sex with her? Probably have to wait 10 years...


I told her that in a normal relationship, it's normal to touch and kiss and have sex...I think she has had bad experiences in her dating life...But still....She's like it's my body...Well...It's my money...In a relationship both share our each other's bodies....In a healthy one...I told her that I can't keep treating her because it's not fair to me and she looked kind of surprised but said she was okay with it but she can't divide anything yet because she has no money and is looking for another job....


What do you guys think? I think I should say hasta la vista baby...If she doesn't let me touch her at all, that's ridiculous...If a girl likes you, she will want you to touch her and be intimate.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She is using you until something better comes along.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I've been out with this girl 4 times. Here's the background...She's a foreigner from Colombia living and working here without her papers (illegally). Already, it's a red flag because she could be looking for someone to marry for her papers...She's only 23 and lives with her mom who is doing the same thing haha.

Anyway, I think she is using me...We've been out 4 times and I've already paid almost 80 dollars on her...The first time, we went out to play mini-golf and then went to a club. I paid for her ticket and a drink....because she wanted a beer...We went to another bar and said she was thirty again...So she once again expected me to pay...10 bucks for a shot unreal....Then later on said she was hungry...Again expected me to pay and I did...

She hardly has any money and a crappy job so it's not a good situation. It's called taking advantage...At the end of the night, we kissed very passionately.

Date two---We went ice skating and again I paid...She didn't ask for anything else...Then we ended that on a kiss...

I've been getting good kino on her touching her legs and neck and lower body everytime.

3rd date---We were going to the beach but it rained so she suggested a movie (again expecting me to pay)....It was full so we went to Starbucks and she ordered a drink and sandwich because she was hungry...Again she expected me to pay...We kissed very briefly.

4th date...This is where I started to get frusterated....I was very tired and she didn't like my attitude when I picked her up because I was so tired....We went to a club because she wanted to dance and she was acting like bitchy because she didn't like the music and was barely dancing....Before we started, she said she wanted a drink and again she expected me to pay....And she even walked away from the bar....

At the end, I asked her why she was being so distant and she said because we are just "going out" and not b/f g/f she won't kiss me whenever during the date....Very weird...

Then was I like, well let's be b/f and g/f (I wasn't serious about this) just wanted to see how she would act...Then we started kissing and I made a move to touch her butt and she got all weird and stopped me and said that she doesn't want me to touch her butt...I've never had that happen...I told her that well since we are b/f g/f...in a normal relationship, both of us have the right to touch each other and all that good stuff...Which is what always happens in any relationship...Can you imagine trying to have sex with her? Probably have to wait 10 years...


I told her that in a normal relationship, it's normal to touch and kiss and have sex...I think she has had bad experiences in her dating life...But still....She's like it's my body...Well...It's my money...In a relationship both share our each other's bodies....In a healthy one...I told her that I can't keep treating her because it's not fair to me and she looked kind of surprised but said she was okay with it but she can't divide anything yet because she has no money and is looking for another job....


What do you guys think? I think I should say hasta la vista baby...If she doesn't let me touch her at all, that's ridiculous...If a girl likes you, she will want you to touch her and be intimate.

This sounds Ike something that started in the wrong frame from the start. The one common thing I see during all of your outings/“dates” is the fact that she has picked everything you two have done, because she’s wanted to do certain thing, eat/drink certain thing, etc. You should take initiative, and plan something, and have her go a long, especially if you are paying. Lead. You are conveying that she is the one who holds all the cards and you are complying with every wish because, we’ll, she’s a cute, young girl, thus should be honored in her company.

Unfortunately, even if she wanted to contribute, she probably can’t, due to her financial situation. A lot of American women, with enough resources, don’t feel they have to contribute much. It’s just the reality of dating, and the economics. dating is a game rigged against men. When has it not been. Your options, either you take the lead by planning and accept you are the wallet, for the most part, and hope it is not to late to take back the frame, or go find one who is of a frame of mind of that it should be a give and take financially.

As far as escalating physically, her attraction is not high enough, mainly due to the fact you have not been a good leader all along, otherwise you could just lead her into physical and sexual activity, without her resisting you. If a woman is following your lead, all along, it will just be the natural thing to just keep following you as the relationship progresses. If she’s been leading, which women, especially from a culture like that of Latin America, are not comfortable, of course she’s not going to be confortable following YOUR lead physically.

The consensus is, Colombian and Venezuelan women are the hottest chicas in Latin America. She probably has more than enough offers for her time. She can be picky when it comes to American men. Just their reality. It is what it is.
Keep this in mind for the next time you agree to take out a gal with limited financial resources, especially non-American.

 

[RickTheToad]

I've been out with this girl 4 times. Here's the background...She's a foreigner from Colombia living and working here without her papers (illegally). Already, it's a red flag because she could be looking for someone to marry for her papers...She's only 23 and lives with her mom who is doing the same thing haha.

Anyway, I think she is using me...We've been out 4 times and I've already paid almost 80 dollars on her...The first time, we went out to play mini-golf and then went to a club. I paid for her ticket and a drink....because she wanted a beer...We went to another bar and said she was thirty again...So she once again expected me to pay...10 bucks for a shot unreal....Then later on said she was hungry...Again expected me to pay and I did...

She hardly has any money and a crappy job so it's not a good situation. It's called taking advantage...At the end of the night, we kissed very passionately.

Date two---We went ice skating and again I paid...She didn't ask for anything else...Then we ended that on a kiss...

I've been getting good kino on her touching her legs and neck and lower body everytime.

3rd date---We were going to the beach but it rained so she suggested a movie (again expecting me to pay)....It was full so we went to Starbucks and she ordered a drink and sandwich because she was hungry...Again she expected me to pay...We kissed very briefly.

4th date...This is where I started to get frusterated....I was very tired and she didn't like my attitude when I picked her up because I was so tired....We went to a club because she wanted to dance and she was acting like bitchy because she didn't like the music and was barely dancing....Before we started, she said she wanted a drink and again she expected me to pay....And she even walked away from the bar....

At the end, I asked her why she was being so distant and she said because we are just "going out" and not b/f g/f she won't kiss me whenever during the date....Very weird...

Then was I like, well let's be b/f and g/f (I wasn't serious about this) just wanted to see how she would act...Then we started kissing and I made a move to touch her butt and she got all weird and stopped me and said that she doesn't want me to touch her butt...I've never had that happen...I told her that well since we are b/f g/f...in a normal relationship, both of us have the right to touch each other and all that good stuff...Which is what always happens in any relationship...Can you imagine trying to have sex with her? Probably have to wait 10 years...


I told her that in a normal relationship, it's normal to touch and kiss and have sex...I think she has had bad experiences in her dating life...But still....She's like it's my body...Well...It's my money...In a relationship both share our each other's bodies....In a healthy one...I told her that I can't keep treating her because it's not fair to me and she looked kind of surprised but said she was okay with it but she can't divide anything yet because she has no money and is looking for another job....


What do you guys think? I think I should say hasta la vista baby...If she doesn't let me touch her at all, that's ridiculous...If a girl likes you, she will want you to touch her and be intimate.

No food (except drinks/tapas) before sex. Then, yes, you have to feed them to refill those lost carbs during sex ;'p. 80 bucks.. Geez. It says your 33. Are you a virgin? How many other ladies have you dated/laid? She's keeping you as an orbiter. Leave. If she wants to make it up to you, she has to come to your place, cook and chill. She's from Columbia, they can cook.

 

[Epic Days]

You didn’t start off sexual. No sex. No dice. She will be on her knees for the man that’s about sex from the start.

 

[touma.akagi]

Start making anti immigrant jokes. Ask her for sus papeles jokingly and call her slurs.

 

[Poonstra]

I'd advise you to get out now. Even if she did like you there's nothing but trouble ahead. Yes, I have experience with this.
Read all about my clusterf*ck with an illegal Brazilian (that actually really did like me) here:

Did I do the right thing?

So I met this Brazilian girl on tinder, just about a year ago. Altho we have a bit different interests, we get along pretty great and start dating about twice a week. The sex was really good and she never denied it, in fact, it was usually the first thing we did when we saw each other. About...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Black Widow Void]

Welcome aboard.

This gal must look pretty hot. Judging by her behavior, it sounds like she's accustomed (and comfortable) with expecting to be pampered. The fact that she does not ask beforehand when ordering something to eat at a coffee shop is quite revealing.
I believe that comfort zones are important and to be respected.... but four dates and not even 1st base seems a bit peculiar

At this point, she appears to be more of a liability than an asset. The only benefit she seems to offer is.... if she's hot looking, then it's good for your image (when you proceed to hit on other women).

 

[MrWood]

Listen to Steve...

 

[Black Widow Void]

Shes actually dumb. Not educated and OP needs to recognize the situation hes in.

Thanks for the clarity, I didn't realize that you knew this woman personally.
Because I don't personally know her, I was only able to offer speculation.

 

[Glassguy]

OP- you're not DATING her. She is USING you.

Big difference. You both have different intents. This could end great for her but you will never benefit from this woman.

Kick her ass to the curb and call immigration on her and her mom as repayment for the money you allowed her to STEAL from you.

Just kidding about calling immigration lol. But if you do please give us an update afterwards. That would be the only way this thread should live on.

 

[MountainSlide]

I see the screen name is ironic.

$80 for 4 dates? Wow.

Obviously, she doesn't have her own place, but do YOU?

Invite the girls to your place, or go to theirs, and if they want to go out, they need to pay. It's that simple. A girl who's with you for you, won't mind staying in and cooking spaghetti and watching Netflix, or springing for drinks, if she wants to go out.

Meanwhile, stop having such a transactional attitude, and you might be able to live up to your screen name.

Shyt. I went out with this girl the other night. Got fricking hammered. Blew $200 on eating and getting drunk. In all fairness I invited her out. We went to my place first smashed. Then went out. Then got loser drunk. Then came back and smashed some more. Ughhh. The hangover though.

 

[jaymbrs]

Shyt. I went out with this girl the other night. Got fricking hammered. Blew $200 on eating and getting drunk. In all fairness I invited her out. We went to my place first smashed. Then went out. Then got loser drunk. Then came back and smashed some more. Ughhh. The hangover though.

These days it's easy to blow $200 on a date. Took my gf out one night for some italian and with her $15 glasses of wine and my $15 bourbons, the tab was like $140 minus tip. God I miss the days when Olive Garden was impressive to women.

 

[MountainSlide]

These days it's easy to blow $200 on a date. Took my gf out one night for some italian and with her $15 glasses of wine and my $15 bourbons, the tab was like $140 minus tip. God I miss the days when Olive Garden was impressive to women.

It seems like everything is way more expensive than it used to be. Olive Garden sounds pretty good right about now hahaha

 

[devilkingx2]

I've been out with this girl 4 times. Here's the background...She's a foreigner from Colombia living and working here without her papers (illegally). Already, it's a red flag because she could be looking for someone to marry for her papers...She's only 23 and lives with her mom who is doing the same thing haha.

Anyway, I think she is using me...We've been out 4 times and I've already paid almost 80 dollars on her...The first time, we went out to play mini-golf and then went to a club. I paid for her ticket and a drink....because she wanted a beer...We went to another bar and said she was thirty again...So she once again expected me to pay...10 bucks for a shot unreal....Then later on said she was hungry...Again expected me to pay and I did...

She hardly has any money and a crappy job so it's not a good situation. It's called taking advantage...At the end of the night, we kissed very passionately.

Date two---We went ice skating and again I paid...She didn't ask for anything else...Then we ended that on a kiss...

I've been getting good kino on her touching her legs and neck and lower body everytime.

3rd date---We were going to the beach but it rained so she suggested a movie (again expecting me to pay)....It was full so we went to Starbucks and she ordered a drink and sandwich because she was hungry...Again she expected me to pay...We kissed very briefly.

4th date...This is where I started to get frusterated....I was very tired and she didn't like my attitude when I picked her up because I was so tired....We went to a club because she wanted to dance and she was acting like bitchy because she didn't like the music and was barely dancing....Before we started, she said she wanted a drink and again she expected me to pay....And she even walked away from the bar....

At the end, I asked her why she was being so distant and she said because we are just "going out" and not b/f g/f she won't kiss me whenever during the date....Very weird...

Then was I like, well let's be b/f and g/f (I wasn't serious about this) just wanted to see how she would act...Then we started kissing and I made a move to touch her butt and she got all weird and stopped me and said that she doesn't want me to touch her butt...I've never had that happen...I told her that well since we are b/f g/f...in a normal relationship, both of us have the right to touch each other and all that good stuff...Which is what always happens in any relationship...Can you imagine trying to have sex with her? Probably have to wait 10 years...


I told her that in a normal relationship, it's normal to touch and kiss and have sex...I think she has had bad experiences in her dating life...But still....She's like it's my body...Well...It's my money...In a relationship both share our each other's bodies....In a healthy one...I told her that I can't keep treating her because it's not fair to me and she looked kind of surprised but said she was okay with it but she can't divide anything yet because she has no money and is looking for another job....


What do you guys think? I think I should say hasta la vista baby...If she doesn't let me touch her at all, that's ridiculous...If a girl likes you, she will want you to touch her and be intimate.

I'm pretty much with you. Unless she's a virgin, traumatised by something/a basket case, or has some sort of disease there's no excuse for all this nonsense.

She can buy her own sh!t if you're not getting any action. She can't afford to? Too bad, she can learn to put out or enjoy mcdonalds and supermarket wine then.

Frankly it's obvious that she has you friendzoned but probably realizes she can't go out and party on your dime if she tells you she's not into you at all.

 

[RangerMIke]

If you are not having fun, then stop doing what you are doing. Dating is supposed to be fun, not work.

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

Sounds like she doesn't wanna fvck you for whatever reason.

Stop going out on dates and spending money and just invite her to your house or invite yourself to her house and go for they lay.

I wouldn't spend much time on her though, move on to another girl, if shes truly interested she will come back......forget about this girl for now.