"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

End it all?

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
You're come to the right place then young man.

Here, as you're witnessed, the tougher the Masters here beat you down, the higher the chances you will survive in this world.

One has to learn how to roll on the ground before flying in the sky.

Stick around and endure being "beaten" up, by doing so, you will inevitably surpass ur limits.
Getting beaten was always a sign.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,603
Reaction score
5,138
Location
Bridgeport, CT
I got a bad flu in November and in December was thesis crunch time to graduate bachelors (which I did and burned out) so these are (bad) excuses.
1) trying to eat as little as possible while I have time now, stuck at parents' home till conscription starts
2) none right now besides household chores
3) 24.5 and in retrospect feels like a failure to be so late for everything in life
4) videogames and learning to make them a bit... snowboarding I guess too. Used to follow a gym program when I was procrastenating on my thesis.
A lot of peopel tell me that I overthink or stress too much but it seems bull**** to me. Gotta get that 6 figure job and a 6 pack to even concider social relations.
Need to fix that sh it. No excuses not to eat healthy and at least walk/jog for 20 mins a day to start. At 25, you should be looking for some direction internally to find what your purpose is in life. Check out http://www.meetup.com and join some groups to do some interesting sh it. What country do you reside?
 

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
Need to fix that sh it. No excuses not to eat healthy and at least walk/jog for 20 mins a day to start. At 25, you should be looking for some direction internally to find what your purpose is in life. Check out http://www.meetup.com and join some groups to do some interesting sh it. What country do you reside?
Finalnd. Going to army shortly after new years anyways. I don't even want to go out besides yelling my longues out at karaoke bars once or twice a month. Nothing good will ever come out.
What disgusts me to the core is that all I am doing is building up for some potential used up ***** in her epiphany stage. What, I get to finally be decently respectable by 35 and then rosties will line up? What a great strategy.
Meanwhile every girl I meet disgusts me to the core, worse when I think and see them "opening up", paint it black and such.
 
Last edited:

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Fuk me. Go to trade school. I d suggest electrical and learn about automation and control. somebody has to install all this automated sh1t and that will be a good living for many years to come. And however you do it buy some arable land. Join a team sport. You've got bigger things to worry about than pvssy.
 

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
Fuk me. Go to trade school. I d suggest electrical and learn about automation and control. somebody has to install all this automated sh1t and that will be a good living for many years to come. And however you do it buy some arable land. Join a team sport. You've got bigger things to worry about than pvssy.
I just graduated IT engineering bachelors
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
Well in that case it's time to get a s*** IT job. What country?
Finland. Going to army in January though. It really grinds my gears how everyone seems to just BE happy. As if nobody ever has to even bother about the future and just lives some carefree hedonistic lifestyle
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Geeze Finland is a pretty good country. It sounds like your issues are mental. In Finland you should be able to access some counselling. start with that and download yourself some good resources on meditation and stoic philosophy. At 24 your main mission is to get control of your head. Plenty of good material too on positive psychology.

If you are going into the army try to be the fittest guy there. That will give you some street cred with the guys.
 

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
Geeze Finland is a pretty good country. It sounds like your issues are mental. In Finland you should be able to access some counselling. start with that and download yourself some good resources on meditation and stoic philosophy. At 24 your main mission is to get control of your head. Plenty of good material too on positive psychology.

If you are going into the army try to be the fittest guy there. That will give you some street cred with the guys.
I concider myself fit enough to haul heavy **** for hours.
Counceling is a sham to only make things worse or turn you into a good goy.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Right so you came here to get advice and you want to argue with everyone who gives it ...good luck with that
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,989
Reaction score
5,410
Location
DFW
I concider myself fit enough to haul heavy **** for hours.
Counceling is a sham to only make things worse or turn you into a good goy.
Don’t worry, if you’re going into the Army you won’t have to worry about your purpose or motivation soon…
Sounds like you could use some helpful discipline …
 

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
Don’t worry, if you’re going into the Army you won’t have to worry about your purpose or motivation soon…
Sounds like you could use some helpful discipline …
What I hope for.
Right so you came here to get advice and you want to argue with everyone who gives it ...good luck with that
The only thing I discarded is counceling. Everything else I am greatful for.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Yeah it tells us a lot about your social skills and this vs that binary black and white mindset. See if I knocked back the counselling idea here is how I would do it.

I think counselling can be really good for some people. (Has to be true sometimes)

I'm not sure it is right for me now as I'm trying to get my own ideas on the world straight and having other ideas pushed on me might confuse things. (BTW if you seek out CBT trained counselors this is unlikely to be true. Try thinking of them as a mindfulness coach rather than a counselor).

do you see how my version was less abrasive and taking more responsibility for myself?
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,603
Reaction score
5,138
Location
Bridgeport, CT
Finalnd. Going to army shortly after new years anyways. I don't even want to go out besides yelling my longues out at karaoke bars once or twice a month. Nothing good will ever come out.
What disgusts me to the core is that all I am doing is building up for some potential used up ***** in her epiphany stage. What, I get to finally be decently respectable by 35 and then rosties will line up? What a great strategy.
Meanwhile every girl I meet disgusts me to the core, worse when I think and see them "opening up", paint it black and such.
That may help with discipline, but you need to get your head right. Have you considered talking to someone IRL about your depression? Exercise is great for ridding one's self for depression. It releases endorphins; which changes your mood and you can think clearer and better.
 

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
Yea. Sounds so much more coherent.
If I had a dollar for every "just go to therapy", heh
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
That may help with discipline, but you need to get your head right. Have you considered talking to someone IRL about your depression? Exercise is great for ridding one's self for depression. It releases endorphins; which changes your mood and you can think clearer and better.
Exercise did not help, I think I was even less productive. Also nobody to talk to.
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,603
Reaction score
5,138
Location
Bridgeport, CT
Exercise did not help, I think I was even less productive. Also nobody to talk to.
MMA, rock climbing, come on dude. Don't give up on yourself. Here, check this out.

 

Pathological

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
59
Reaction score
10
Age
31
MMA, rock climbing, come on dude. Don't give up on yourself. Here, check this out.

Thanks. Will see if there will be any drive for this besides job hunting after I am done with the service (which may be 6 months or 9 or 12..)
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Getting beaten was always a sign.
You were born lucky, grew up entitled and in a privileged society but yet ended up like this.

Ur mindset needs some fresh perspectives.

Get out of ur safe zone, go visit some poor country, visit their slums, see how thousands of people struggle to survive just with 1 meal a day and not knowing if they have food for tomorrow.

But they carry on, some despite all sorts of hardships has managed to thrive and surpass it.

They had nothing, no education, many without houses, no clean water, not even electricity, etc but just surviving on sheer willpower and the belief that they shall overcome.

But you, with all that's available in ur society can think of such thoughts of ending it all.

Perhaps you need to 1st learn on how to feel shame.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Top