"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Should I just next this girl??

MountainSlide

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Girl is supposed to go on a date with me at 7pm this evening. Calls me at 6pm. I ask her how she’s doing, she says depressed, laying in bed all day. I ask her if she’ll be at the restaurant for 7pm. She responds that she doesn’t feel up to it. I said “thanks for the advance notice”. Then she starts yelling at me for starting a fight, we get off phone. Continues onto text. She says that I’m supposed to understand how she’s feeling (I don’t because when I’m depressed I go out and do things to feel better)... I tell her that the argument is going nowhere and we’ll talk later. Then she says how about never... *crickets*. I mean she’s going through **** because someone hit and ran her rental car the other day and now she has to pay a fairly large deductible which I sympathize with. But It seems just like she’s always in some crisis and uses it as an excuse to get away with her shytty behaviour. Am I wrong here??
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BackInTheGame78

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If she truly has depression it may be true because that is the type of thing that happens...when it comes time to do something they withdraw.

But that isn't your problem and if its not something you want to constantly deal with then I'd keep it moving.
 

synecdoche

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Don't get dragged into an argument over text or phone.

We don't have a lot of information, I would say next, she's probably not worth the **** she'll be giving you.
 

MountainSlide

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If she truly has depression it may be true because that is the type of thing that happens...when it comes time to do something they withdraw.

But that isn't your problem and if its not something you want to constantly deal with then I'd keep it moving.
I’ve been seeing her for a bit. But she seems to be quite self absorbed and the funny thing is that if she does something wrong then she accuses me of making things about myself. Some annoying behaviours.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BackInTheGame78

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I’ve been seeing her for a bit. But she seems to be quite self absorbed and the funny thing is that if she does something wrong then she accuses me of making things about myself. Some annoying behaviours.
She might have depression and other issues, those often times go hand in hand.
 

Glassguy

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How is this even a question on whether to next her or not?

I am assuming you have never went out with this chick before or at the most once or twice?

She wants drama. She just told you she is fvcked up with depression, if thats really why she canceled. And she likes playing the VICTIM hence her started a fight over "how dare you treat her that way".

Fvck her. I wouldnt have even given her the satisfaction of a response.
 

Barrister

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If you have never gone out with her then of course you NEXT her. Texting someone telling them they should understand how she feels when she has yet to even date them actually sounds outright crazy.
 

dude99

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Girl is supposed to go on a date with me at 7pm this evening. Calls me at 6pm. I ask her how she’s doing, she says depressed, laying in bed all day. I ask her if she’ll be at the restaurant for 7pm. She responds that she doesn’t feel up to it. I said “thanks for the advance notice”. Then she starts yelling at me for starting a fight, we get off phone. Continues onto text. She says that I’m supposed to understand how she’s feeling (I don’t because when I’m depressed I go out and do things to feel better)... I tell her that the argument is going nowhere and we’ll talk later. Then she says how about never... *crickets*. I mean she’s going through **** because someone hit and ran her rental car the other day and now she has to pay a fairly large deductible which I sympathize with. But It seems just like she’s always in some crisis and uses it as an excuse to get away with her shytty behaviour. Am I wrong here??
Next.

Do not engage.

Do not try to fix.(credit attack formation)

Rewarding crazy with your time and attention will result in everyone being happy except you.

Next. Delete. block. Save yourself the hassle
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MountainSlide

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How is this even a question on whether to next her or not?

I am assuming you have never went out with this chick before or at the most once or twice?

She wants drama. She just told you she is fvcked up with depression, if thats really why she canceled. And she likes playing the VICTIM hence her started a fight over "how dare you treat her that way".

Fvck her. I wouldnt have even given her the satisfaction of a response.
Oh no I’ve hooked up with her quite a few times over the past months. And the funny thing is that she did something wrong, I call her out on it, and then somehow I’m the bad guy.

But I’m done. From what I think is that there’s two ways this will go from here: 1) she becomes a crazy stalker when I don’t fold like a cheap law chair (what other guys she’s dated have done / she’s hb 8.5) or 2) she just fcks off and leaves me alone.

that’s the exact fight that happened ”how dare I treat her that way”. And **** like “I expected you to understand but you make everything about yourself”. So I’m supposed to be psychic and know that the date was cancelled because she had a rough event happen a few days ago. And I’m supposed to know that she’s withdrawing because she’s depressed (when she doesn’t even tell me). So I say we’ll talk about this later when you’re feeling better (because I don’t want to have an argument with someone that’s acting like a total bytch over text). And she responds with “or never if you’re going to treat me this way”.
 

dude99

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Oh no I’ve hooked up with her quite a few times over the past months. And the funny thing is that she did something wrong, I call her out on it, and then somehow I’m the bad guy.

But I’m done. From what I think is that there’s two ways this will go from here: 1) she becomes a crazy stalker when I don’t fold like a cheap law chair (what other guys she’s dated have done / she’s hb 8.5) or 2) she just fcks off and leaves me alone.

that’s the exact fight that happened ”how dare I treat her that way”. And **** like “I expected you to understand but you make everything about yourself”. So I’m supposed to be psychic and know that the date was cancelled because she had a rough event happen a few days ago. And I’m supposed to know that she’s withdrawing because she’s depressed (when she doesn’t even tell me). So I say we’ll talk about this later when you’re feeling better (because I don’t want to have an argument with someone that’s acting like a total bytch over text). And she responds with “or never if you’re going to treat me this way”.
She has depression and bi-polar by this description.

Next.
 

Glassguy

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Oh no I’ve hooked up with her quite a few times over the past months. And the funny thing is that she did something wrong, I call her out on it, and then somehow I’m the bad guy.

But I’m done. From what I think is that there’s two ways this will go from here: 1) she becomes a crazy stalker when I don’t fold like a cheap law chair (what other guys she’s dated have done / she’s hb 8.5) or 2) she just fcks off and leaves me alone.

that’s the exact fight that happened ”how dare I treat her that way”. And **** like “I expected you to understand but you make everything about yourself”. So I’m supposed to be psychic and know that the date was cancelled because she had a rough event happen a few days ago. And I’m supposed to know that she’s withdrawing because she’s depressed (when she doesn’t even tell me). So I say we’ll talk about this later when you’re feeling better (because I don’t want to have an argument with someone that’s acting like a total bytch over text). And she responds with “or never if you’re going to treat me this way”.
Block her number from receiving any texts, block her on all forms of social media.

Thank me later.
 

oldmanofthesea

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If it were me, when she told me she was in bed all day depressed, my response would not have been, "Are you still coming tonight," at least, not for a girl I've been seeing a few months. That seems a bit selfish to me. I would have at least asked her why she's feeling bad in response to her telling me that.

However, she didn't handle it well. I've been in a relationship with a girl who made everything my fault, so between that, and her having crippling depression (which only she can fix), I'd just move on.
 

MountainSlide

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If it were me, when she told me she was in bed all day depressed, my response would not have been, "Are you still coming tonight," at least, not for a girl I've been seeing a few months. That seems a bit selfish to me. I would have at least asked her why she's feeling bad in response to her telling me that.

However, she didn't handle it well. I've been in a relationship with a girl who made everything my fault, so between that, and her having crippling depression (which only she can fix), I'd just move on.
I already knew why, because she was in bed the day before too. And I messaged her that day and told her that I just wanted to let her know that I care about her and to give me a call if she wants to chat for a bit (which she did). I messaged her in the evening and told her goodnight and that things will get better. Then she didn’t even bother responding. So I called her the next day about two hours before we were supposed to go on the date to confirm whether she was coming or not. She didn’t answer but called me an hour later. Asked her how she’s doing. She said in bed all day. Then I asked if she’s still going to make it to the restaurant. So I’m sure that I could’ve made some more small talk first but my perception is that she is completely self absorbed to the extent that my feelings are completely irrelevant and the only ones that matter are hers.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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oldmanofthesea

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Well with all that additional background, I retract my previous point about your response. Sounds like you've absolutely demonstrated that you do care and she is simply being needy and trying to pull you down into a mud wrestling match. This girl sounds just like my ex wife. I'd hard next her. She may come back apologizing once she realizes you won't (because you have nothy to apologize for), but I'd ignore that at all costs.
 
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