Beware of the Jaded

[Spaz]

I agree with your comments. I think the masculine/feminine polarity is important.

If we each as individuals seek to develop into our highest & best selves much of the bitterness and jadedness falls away.

For me, for example I had to wrestle with and struggle with the fact that I didn’t marry the right man. I married a man who I desired sexually...but he was an inept leader. I didn’t find that out until AFTER I was already married but nevertheless I picked him. The sex was still great as it always was. But my respect for him eroded over time. These were things I had to accept my own responsibility in (regarding my choices) and although I was committed in time I realized I could only ever influence one half of the marriage (my half) and that I didn’t like the example I was setting for my kids being with someone who in the end was quite lazy after the nightclub fiasco.

I still support him financially and in some respects I always will. It is what it is.

I went through stages of being very angry, of feeling bitter and all that in the process. Because I chose poorly I didn’t get to be a devoted housewife home baking cookies. Instead I ended up working my ass off. That’s OK. I have marvelous children I am thankful for and proud of. But in the end I am responsible for my life and my choices. I don’t see men as charlatans generally at all. I enjoy male company and love masculine energy. And I have brought my standard back in line with what it always was. When we married my ex husband was the embodiment of the standard I always have had. But we married too quickly and I didn’t evaluate him long enough. That is also on me.

These are things I had to look in the mirror and grapple with in myself and grow through.

I have never understood the extreme feminist view. Even as I went through processing the issues in my marriage I never saw the male collective in a bad light. I think man haters are bitter and toxic and I will not associate with such women. It is heavy negative energy and an absolute drag. Repels men. Just as bitterness in a man is toxic and repels women.

Ive had to be resilient in life. Successful people are without exception resilient people. Even now I am in charge of choices I make & people I associate with and the effects those associations have in my life.

This is true of us all. And that is why we must each be aware of the attitudes held by those who we allow influence in our lives.

I'll get back to you later on BE, once I'm back home and at ease to reply.

This thread merits some discussions.

 

[Speculator E]

Stick to the topic and don't use God's name in vain just to justify ur comments in this thread.

Go back to hell minion of Satan!
Just kidding. I don't know if you are joking or not.
Also I said minion.

 

[Spaz]

Go back to hell minion of Satan!
Just kidding. I don't know if you are joking or not.
Also I said minion.

You got it wrong.

Satan works for me and right now he's cleaning out the drains in my back yard.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

1. It means you as a man have to be visible/viable/considered a great option to the women who have the greatest amount of choice

This is entirely untrue. The BEST women do not have social media, and by nature of that fact alone, great female partners will have less options than other women who do have social media. ****, that might actually be the real reason why not having social media makes you a great partner lol

2. It means you evaluate women on character and internal attributes as a higher priority than looks/body,

You see, this right here completely negates the entire premise of your first point anyway simply because it means that the woman you are with is only sweet because that's the only way she can get a man, and is indicative that she is only a 'good person' (LOL) because she doesn't have as many options, as mentioned in the first point. This means that she isn't genuinely a good person inside. How contradictory to what you're saying lol

3. It means you accept that marriage is a commitment that is made seriously and must be taken seriously. You can't just scatter at the first problem. It is the journey through hardships in partnership and the surmounting of them that builds great unions.

This is stupid right here because you are blaming men for leaving women, when 80% of divorces are initiated by women. That's incredibly dishonest.


WOMEN ruin relationships. WOMEN are homewreckers. Not men.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

BE, while ur initial OP has many truths it's also mixed or laced with a feminine bias

This is exactly the problem with women when they come on here lol but BE does it with an air of superiority compared to other women who've been on here.

her intention is noble

No one in this world has nobility anymore. Very few ever had it to begin with.

 

[Speculator E]

You got it wrong.
Satan works for me and right now he's cleaning out the drains in my back yard.

Whatever...tell Satan, God is coming for him.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why not just ignore me then @ImTheDoubleGreatest! ? You were ignoring me before, so what gives?

Is my message so powerful and dangerous that you need to warn others? That’s giving me tremendous power & credit.

I think the men here are smart enough to figure out what makes sense in their own lives from their own individual perspectives.

Your contributions on this thread are attacking in nature. To what end? You present yourself as unhinged and irrational and angry. Insulting me makes you look bad & erodes your credibility. Seriously.

I know personally many couples who are happy marrieds raising great well adjusted young men & women and reaping financial success as well in great partnerships with one another. I know MANY couples like this ranging from ages in the 20s to the 80s.

Many men here would like to find a great relationship. Jaded posters who post angry vitriolic content cannot help these men because they are so lost in their own negativity and BS.

This thread illustrates well who reasonable men looking for solid advice should not listen to. There IS plenty of great information available on the forum. But people must also consider who it is they chose to listen to. I’m a woman. I’m going to have a female viewpoint.

That is why I identify myself regularly as a woman in fact. So the reader knows I’m a woman and can decide whether my female contribution has value for him as an individual man.

Posters who attack others simply show the board who they are. And that’s good.

And yes @SpeculatorE I am good with my spiritual life.

@Spaz I look forward to the discussion.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The above statement assumes defeat before the vows are taken. It is a cynical and inherently jaded view. I'm as pragmatic as they come. I've spoken openly about the fact that I married someone who folded when his life ran across serious difficulty. I stayed for 14 more years out of loyalty and commitment. Eventually I understood I can't do the personal growth for him; all I could do in the end was stay or go. So almost 6 years ago I left. He's still spinning his wheels and my life has evolved because I made a hard choice, but a choice that was made out of self respect.

When if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't have done the same to you. But you frame it as 'having self-respect' hahaha

Great marriages do exist and not just among the elderly. Seek out marrieds who are successful and who are enjoying their life journey with their partner. If you look around you'll know people who are having a good experience. There are members here on SS in this category (although many who fall into this category rarely post anymore - why would they? Those who are doing well don't need the help so they go on about their lives)...and there are many out in the world who are doing well.

BE, even you know that half the time it's bull****. I'm sure your marriage looked picture-perfect to everyone on the outside the whole time right up until you decided to divorce. You're literally telling us to just take things at face value and believe everything we are told. NO one wants to let the world know their marriage sucks. But it happens. And it happens at a rate of over ~54% lol. This isn't "jaded bitterness" as you put it, this is just factual evidence. Most marriages fail. Even after 20+ years. And it's usually women who initiate the divorce. And in most divorces, it's always women who come out on top, too. I know you try and tell us that your age, gender 'experience' in marriage qualify you as an authority on the matter, but that's just a fallacious argument grounded in a 'I-know-it-all' mentality that someone more my age should have.

Fact is, you're just wrong.

It also is statistically true that married men are healthier and lead longer, more fulfilled lives. There is lots of research available on this.

And NONE of them take into consideration confounding variables. Any statistician worth their salt knows better than to conduct a univariate analysis to draw conclusions from. Multivariate models always supersede univariate ones because they better help determine causation.

Some of the guys in their 20's can't imagine any woman old enough to be their mother can possibly be beautiful or sexy etc. So this I chalk up to age. Those attitudes will change and evolve as the men change and evolve (mature).

Honey, even those older men still like younger women lol. That tells us everything we need to know.

Truth is, most older women are just not attractive. They're ugly because they let themselves go. They get fat in all the skinny places and skinny inn all the fat places. But that doesn't mean there aren't some bad looking older women. Just go to the milf section in porn haha those babes are hot as hell. Most older women just don't look like that though, while there are still guys who are jacked well into their 50s.

This bit irks you just because you yourself are an older woman lol so OBVIOUSLY you're gonna be biased against it hahaha

The women are good only for sex part of this statement is an insidious statement of lack. It's an expression of disappointment that men need women in order to have actual sex (your hand notwithstanding) and it is colored with resentment about that fact. It is also a version of diminishing what you do not have as a means of disqualifying something you couldn't obtain.

In other words, when I see men making this statement it tells me these guys are terrifically unsuccessful with women and can't get younger women's attention and then are ticked that even older women won't play ball.

It is a terrible way of looking at women which also inherently underestimates women. Men with this attitude are creepy AF. No wonder these men repel women.

Jesus, the amount of sourness projecting onto these innocent men is astounding.

Lady, instead of saying that these guys are dumb, how about you go ahead and tell us what exactly you can give a man outside of sex.

"Women are incapable of logic and are ruled by emotion..."

This goes hand in hand with men seeing women as children. It is the epitome of underestimation. That's fine. Underestimate women at your own risk gentlemen. If you think a tiger is really a housecat you are in for a world of hurt when you realize you are dealing with a tiger and NOT a housecat. Women are emotional, yes, and perhaps differently than men, and are more expressive, but to think women are incapable of logic/reason is foolhardy thinking. Either that or these are men who are dating unintelligent and/or low self esteem women (and to be fair there are plenty of those running around). Women can be just as cunning as a tiger. In some ways being a red pill man is getting your head wrapped around this concept above all others. Read up on some of the horror stories around here if questions.

"Emotional" isn't the right word for it. "Neurotic" is, because it takes into account things like random food cravings or miniscule nitpicks that aren't 'emotional' in nature, but neurotic. Interestingly, this has been empirically shown in scientific literature.

Plus, it's not a basis specifically on the person as a whole. You as a woman are more neurotic than me as a man. You as a person, however, may not be. When referring to someone as a man or woman, it refers to them in regard to sexually dimorphic behaviors. When referring to someone as 'someone' or as a 'person', it refers to them in regard to human characteristics.

"Older women should be thrown away. Only the women from 18-23 are worth anything..."

I have never heard of this before lmao

The fact that you mention this twice is indicative of you having an insecurity with aging. Typical for most people, esp women lol

However even an experienced fisherman is looking to learn and improve his success rate. If you get a glimpse into how the fish lives and exists, it might give you some useful insights that might help you.

I mean, this basically says to not take what women say seriously, and to look at their actions instead. Which is what we've been saying at SS for probably 2 decades lol.

The scary thing about you tying it into the proverb is that it implies that we should listen to women on how to attract other women, which is a known falsehood even to you. It's a slow, subtle form of corruption.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I'd suggest that anyone hurling insults or seeking to diminish me in this thread holds the exact jaded, negative, self defeating attitudes that I am talking about. Not because it has anything to do with me personally, but because WOMEN in a collective sense are the enemy to some degree or other to these men. That is an attitude of lack and it repels the kind of women you most want to meet.

Pish posh. "Anyone who disagrees with me is jaded" is what you're saying. You might as well say "anyone who disagrees with me is a misogynist because I'm a woman and I know what I'm talking about" xD

Here's an acid test. The content I've written in the OP and in the other posts outside of my own personal details stands on its own and could have just as easily been written by a man. If you are throwing out the merits of the content simply because I am female? You are jaded to some degree.

Your seeing the content as female first and losing sight of the message. It is a valid message. We must all be careful who we listen to, especially on an anonymous internet forum.

And this is the biggest problem with your assumption. You assume the disagreement is based off of sexism within the forum.

No. You being a woman just EXPLAINS why we disagree with your posts. It doesn't mean that we wouldn't. I argued with guys like Tenacity and bigniel more readily than you. But you think that it's because of you being a woman lol.

You see, THAT is why we all say that you got a big ego lol

Why not just ignore me then @ImTheDoubleGreatest! ? You were ignoring me before, so what gives?

Is my message so powerful and dangerous that you need to warn others? That’s giving me tremendous power & credit.

I think the men here are smart enough to figure out what makes sense in their own lives from their own individual perspectives.

Your contributions on this thread are attacking in nature. To what end? You present yourself as unhinged and irrational and angry. Insulting me makes you look bad & erodes your credibility. Seriously.

At what point did I ever insult you? You take **** way too personally. Even more egotism lmao

BE, I don't think you know what type of person I am. Over the past several years, I've grown so comfortable with myself and so sure of myself that I'm not afraid of arguing with people even if what I have to say is controversial. I've gotten strong enough to face public retribution head-on whether that be insults, getting yelled at, possibly being threatened, etc. even in a period of time where cancel culture is a thing. And you want to know why? I'm sick of hearing all the bull**** that made me struggle in the first place. I'm gonna speak my mind, and I will speak it as forcefully as I believe it. I don't care whether it's in front of a 300-person lecture hall on a topic about women's rights or whether it's to my own parents, it's just how I am now. I'm not just some keyboard warrior on an anonymous forum like you think.

And unlike you, or any other old person out there, I do this because I'm actually willing to be wrong.

 

[BeExcellent]

Your thinking is binary. That is part of the problem. It is not a question of right or wrong. Life simply isn't that black and white in matters of relationship. It's not a one size fits all thing. It's a question of what suits a particular individual's situation.

This is entirely untrue. The BEST women do not have social media, and by nature of that fact alone, great female partners will have less options than other women who do have social media. ****, that might actually be the real reason why not having social media makes you a great partner lol

I said nothing whatsoever about social media. I don't do OLD. Never needed to. And I'm also not a big user of social media. A little, but nothing unusual. My last post on FB frankly was a photo of me and my ex BF out together last weekend. In a photo HE wanted taken and a post HE wanted me to post (probably as a way of discouraging other men, duh) but nevertheless it was a nice photo and so I posted it.

Great female partners always have many options in whatever environment they are in. Men desire feminine, beautiful women with a nice disposition, brains, and a kindness who also happen to be in good shape and have a healthy lifestyle. Many men appreciate someone who can have an opinion on things and contribute valuable insights to a man's life while still allowing and trusting his ability to lead her. These women make great partners and great mothers. Most of these women get locked down young as is regularly noted on the board. For you at your age you should be in the prime of life when you are getting exposure to such women. But these women are going to expect a man of substance because they are going to have high self esteem and were raised in good families that are themselves largely healthy and intact. I personally know LOTS of people who meet this criteria. They are all around me and my social circles are filled with them (and their daughters.)

How do YOU define the "best" women? And do you have access to them? If you do not have access to them then I would suggest you do not register on their radar and therefore you have work to do on yourself. If you do have access to these types of women then you could contribute to assisting others in finding them. These are women who ARE marriage and family oriented. Non-committal men are not going to hang on to these women long term. The women will leave a non committal guy for a man who is similarly looking for a life partner. That is what high value, high self esteem women do.

You assume the disagreement is based off of sexism within the forum.

According to what some members have written (their words, not mine) some of the disagreement is in fact based on my being female. That is completely available to observe even in this thread. So it is FACT. Not assumption. As I noted above it is also self evident to any intelligent reader.

As are the insults in your posts on this thread. Let's take a look at your own commentary as a case study:

And YOU are the common denominator every time you, as a woman, get raped.

I've never been raped in my life. But the fact that this is the language you chose is interesting. It's a silly thing to say in my opinion.

Also, we all know that picture in your avi isn’t you, it’s your daughter 50 year old women don’t get pictures taken of them in a model-esque setting in the same way the pic in your avi is, only younger women get pics like that.

Really? Says who?

The avatar is in fact me. Not my daughter (they are only 11 and 14), but thank you. Obviously you find the woman in the avatar youthful and attractive. I agree that many women my age have let themselves go physically. I have not. In fact I am in better shape and have a better physique and better hair and so forth than many women half my age. At the gym I get asked regularly if I am a personal trainer (I am not.) As I've said many times it's lucky genetics combined with a healthy lifestyle over the years. I have LOTS of attention from men as I always have because THAT is me and that IS what I look like. Again. Things that are self evident.

What is interesting is how this seems to bother you. What I look like and my life experience doesn't fit into your beliefs about women or the world. You react poorly to having your core beliefs challenged. The fact that I exist as I do challenges your beliefs. That is the reason for the tone of your contributions to this thread. This is obvious to many readers, not just me.

Rather than expand your belief system based on objective fact you'd rather invalidate what doesn't agree with your set of assumptions. Objective truth is simply tossed aside in favor of your assumptions, and that is exactly why I started this thread.

Defaulting to assumption rather than acceptance of fact is what will bog down your progress in life. Thanks for illustrating.

The additional comment I would make in your case (and other young men who might share your view) is that your perception of actual divorce statistics is skewed. You have swallowed this skewed perspective in the absence of personal experience (you've never been married). That introduces undue bias (AKA jaded negative attitudes) which you incorporate into your assumptions. In your own relationships this can create a self-fulfilling prophecy which will then reinforce your self defeating beliefs. Sazc has warned you about this very thing on this very forum. Fact is that many marriages are just fine, thank you. Pick the right partner, become the right partner and you'll greatly increase your chances for success.

Meanwhile in your own life eventually you are going to observe people around you having good experiences (because they have not introduced negative bias) and you are likely to be so bound by your beliefs that you will deny objective fact in favor of faulty beliefs. And you'll not understand why THEY are having something you desire. You won't see how your own attitudes are blocking you.

And again that is the purpose of this thread. It is NOT about me. It is to help the reader take note of the bias and its negativity, which can be insidious.

 

[Speculator E]

True. Human used to live for hundreds of years in the old Bible. The longest age record was about 800 years. Our current 100 year lifespan is nothing to our ancestors. Meaning a 50 year old can still be hot if they know how to take care of themselves. I been told I look 10 or even 20 years younger.

 

[fastlife]

From time to time it's interesting to observe certain dogmas around here. Some members adopt a distinctively binary view of something or other and the community is not well served by these attitudes. The result of binary thinking is not only that it limits or narrows one's perspective, but more importantly that it may influence someone less experienced in such a way that at the end of the day is actually detrimental to those who adopt a narrow view based upon what they read or absorb here and then find it isn't so in the real world. This leads to disillusionment and disappointment. It can lead to anger and frustration when perhaps a wider lens might better inform the reader.

In recent days (and this is always true to some degree or another) there have been posters espousing ideals that are from my perspective like caricatures of reality. And caricatures are cartoon characters. They are not real.

Some of the attitudes I see around here are things like:

"Marriage is a horrible deal. Don't get married, you'll only get divorce raped..."

"Women are only good for sex and after 35 they aren't good for anything..."

"Women are going to have sex with the Chads and then will cvck a normal man to gain his resources"

"Older women should be thrown away. Only the women from 18-23 are worth anything..."

"Women are incapable of logic and are ruled by emotion..."

"LTRs and Marriage are for cvcks. You should be spinning plates forever..."

"Don't ask a fish how to go fishing..." This one is a favorite of mine. Who but the fish knows its environment best?

If you look at any of the above assertions (which I as a woman am well aware I may catch some heat for mentioning) they are all coming from a place of fear and lack. The reader of various posts around here must bear in mind that many men here have had genuinely awful experiences with some awful women and there are plenty of men around here who haven't had success in the relationship department ever. This creates a bias. A negative bias. I am pointing this out because there is a frustration that emerges when some men around here cry about how some short or fat or bald or ugly man ended up with a pretty woman and yet here he is, objectively more (fill in the blank) and he is not having success. "Why am I not successful!" some cry. I dunno. Perhaps a close examination of your attitudes should be considered.

Some posts are asking for basic nuts/bolts advice. How do I text? How much is too much? What do I say? That's cool but really the answer is get out there in a social environment and get some experience. Get rejected, fail. Fail some more.

I'd be willing to bet a substantial sum that top salesmen are not running around on here lamenting their woes with women. Those guys are too occupied getting laid or in good LTRs or marriages. By the same token I do not see the men here on the forum who are known to be in satisfactory LTRs or marriages jumping on the negative bandwagon to agree with the above attitudes...nor do I see (as a rule) the older more life experienced men jumping on that bandwagon. But some of the most frequent and vocal posters espouse these narrow views.

It's an observation. Be aware of your own individual goals in your personal life and your life at large. As some posters have stated there is plenty of gold to be mined here so long as you weed out the dogmatic self defeatist stuff.

I do think there is a great deal of value in understanding the generalities that can be observed in the marketplace. Plate spinning serves a useful purpose for example. Going by actions rather than expectations or words is a good practice. Avoiding unhealthy women is certainly good advice. Self-improvement as a focus benefits each of us individually and improves our experience and enjoyment within the world around us and the world at large. Lots of women are entitled or vacuous and so forth.

Learn to screen properly and efficiently the women you allow into your life. Know WHY you are allowing a woman an opportunity. And that is some of the debate I am referring to. Your attitudes are going to affect your ability to screen well. And how well you screen is going to affect your outcome, even though early on it is best that you are as outcome independent as possible...

In some ways the board here is a representative slice of the world at large when you factor in who as a percentage of the population, is more or less successful in any given arena. There are plenty of successful contributors here whose content is worthwhile. There are those who have transformed themselves along the way and benefited from the information and wisdom that exists here. And there are those who beat their chests and spout dogma which may or may not really be of service in the long run. What I enjoy about the group here is the variety of viewpoints. Determine your own individual aim and then seek out guidance on how to get where you want to go. Whether that is getting laid tonight or getting married and being a father one day, or whether it's enjoying a companion you can hang out with once you are over the hill, because at some point we are ALL going to be over the hill.

Obviously I am not a man and have never and will never be one. But I had a great man for a father who did not pamper nor spoil me, and I have a responsible man for a son (for I do not pamper nor spoil him), and I have had the pleasure of knowing many great men over my lifetime, in personal relationships and in family and among friends and colleagues. I have also known men who haven't manifested themselves as they could have. So I've seen a few things over the years.

Beware of the jaded. Be careful what attitudes you allow to populate your mind. Be sure it serves your greater purpose in your personal life and your life at large.

You are invited to discuss.

Restrictive world views are almost always constructed to defend against insecurity. I think it’s important—especially for guys today—to learn about the ugly side of things, experience it, internalize it, and then just live their lives. Life was never meant to fit a restrictive world view—if yours does, you’re not seeing things realistically.

These days, with most of the dudes who reach out to me, I spend more time teaching guys to unlearn a lot of what they’ve learned on SS. Too many rules will get in your way. Holding people to those rules will fvck up your vibe. Of course, when you get guys who are insecure, unsure, inexperienced, they’ll just listen to whoever sounds like they know what they’re talking about and parrots it the most loudly. That’s just human nature.

But relax. It’s not a big deal. She’s not that important, and neither are you

Sure, it’s nice to be able to dismiss anything that makes you uncomfortable. But anyone who tries to force you to adopt a narrow set of rules and not try things out for yourself, no matter how good the rules sound, isn’t looking out for you.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Alright, this is gonna be a long, annoying nitpick, but bear with me because there are some important distinctions that shouldn't be glossed over:

Your thinking is binary. That is part of the problem. It is not a question of right or wrong. Life simply isn't that black and white in matters of relationship. It's not a one size fits all thing. It's a question of what suits a particular individual's situation.

I get what you’re saying, but you have to actually explain what those grey areas are, not just say that they exist. You believe my thinking is binary when in reality I just note specificities.

I said nothing whatsoever about social media.

But I did. And I did so for a reason. Social media artificially inflates people's sense of self-worth, especially women; because it is not a true social interaction, however, it leads to no real viable/concrete results. That's one of the reasons why every girl has low self esteem and major narcissistic issues (amongst other things).

I don't do OLD. Never needed to. And I'm also not a big user of social media. A little, but nothing unusual. My last post on FB frankly was a photo of me and my ex BF out together last weekend. In a photo HE wanted taken and a post HE wanted me to post (probably as a way of discouraging other men, duh) but nevertheless it was a nice photo and so I posted it.

Humblebrag.

Great female partners always have many options in whatever environment they are in.

No. They are more reserved, and are not as boisterous as most modern American women are lol. That's why they tend to have less options—they're not looking for attention.

I'll give you an example: I had a group assignment with this one girl who was in a class of mine over the summer. She was small, petite, flat, and had a shorter haircut, (not a pixie cut, around shoulder length, perhaps slightly shorter). She had glasses and a chipped tooth, and her voice was like a nerdy nasally person. Nothing in the looks department,, maybe a 5 but only because she's at her prime lol. But her demeanor was extremely feminine, and how she talked about things (in her nerdier sounding voice) was very feminine too. Not just that, but the way she looked at you was just 3lkuvhtuiohfop[3qjf4hy2.

And I didn't notice at first either. It was only over the course of the class and in working with her that I noticed that. The thing is, the attraction I felt towards her is different than the attraction I'd feel towards a chick at the gym doing butt exercises. It was like a 'come here, you' kinda thing where you just want to hold them, compared to the average American hoe who you just wanna leave a load in and walk away cuz that's the type of girl American women strive to be like lol.

But the girl I talked to? She didn't have many options. How could she? She's too reserved, isn't that good looking (no offense to her; she does happen to be one of the most beautiful girls I've ever met on the inside though), and doesn't engage in mainstream media like how most other retards do lol

I come across these types of women around once every 1-2 years. And this is Chicago. I can't imagine how it's like in less populated places that have been corrupted by mainstream media.

For you at your age you should be in the prime of life when you are getting exposure to such women.

My age group is at the turning point of the generation. For the men, my age and up are the last generations to have strong men in them, and that's not saying much either because there aren't many strong men to begin with. You might find a few every once in a while with dudes born in the year 2000, but it's so much more rare than it already is. Not just that, but there are MAJOR paradigm shifts between 2000-01 babies and 02-03 babies. They just believe in different movements, have COMPLETELY different ways of thinking, it's unprecedented. Even my sister who is still in high school noted this.

Pretty much every person younger than 20 smokes weed or at the very least vapes (which will lead to weed) and then from there other drugs too). The women aren't faring much better, they're just the same. Though I did notice that the religious/conservative ones are either completely denouncing/in the stages before denouncing faith in favor of debauchery, or are more religious/conservative than people older. This will be interesting to see how it plays out in the next several years. Due to current international events, I don't think I'll be able get married until 27/28. In terms of attractiveness, I'd say I'm decent. I can range from a 4 (when I just don't give af) to a 9 (when things are well). Personality-wise? I've done more internal work than most people with therapists will ever do. It's one of the reasons why I've found the words to explain all of this, rather than just saying 'womyn bad, men gud' lol. In terms of romantics? I can outdo any "blue pill" man you've ever met without being weak (or 'losing frame' as the guys here would put it). I've accidentally broken hearts this way, trust me. And as for my ability to walk away or to even get hurt? Better than even you. God made me this way.

I've never been raped in my life. But the fact that this is the language you chose is interesting. It's a silly thing to say in my opinion.

I wasn't referencing you tbh. I chose this example on purpose because all of the postmodernist neo-marxist leftist liberal progressive extremists would call it victim blaming. Rape is a funny example because regret 30 years later is now considered rape for some reason hahaha

The avatar is in fact me. Not my daughter (they are only 11 and 14), but thank you. Obviously you find the woman in the avatar youthful and attractive.

Hahahaha

If that is you, congrats because that would mean you are attractive for your age.

My skepticism comes from why someone over the age of 30 would be included in a photoshoot with a pose like that with those clothes—this is to indicate sex appeal, which is targeted to a younger audience. Modeling companies will hardly look at anyone over the age of 30, and by 40 you are obsolete, unless you are modeling for an agency that explicitly collects older people. Otherwise, you'd expected already made it in the film industry (because let's just face it, modeling is just a stepping-stone for acting lol). But 50? That's unheard of.

What is interesting is how this seems to bother you. What I look like and my life experience doesn't fit into your beliefs about women or the world. You react poorly to having your core beliefs challenged. The fact that I exist as I do challenges your beliefs. That is the reason for the tone of your contributions to this thread. This is obvious to many readers, not just me.

Rather than expand your belief system based on objective fact you'd rather invalidate what doesn't agree with your set of assumptions. Objective truth is simply tossed aside in favor of your assumptions, and that is exactly why I started this thread.

This is such a narcissistic way of looking at it. You assume that your experiences are "objective fact" because they 'challenge' my beliefs? Babe, even you know that sounds crazy.

Defaulting to assumption rather than acceptance of fact is what will bog down your progress in life. Thanks for illustrating.

Crystallized intelligence vs fluid intelligence. As a young person, I am more willing to be wrong and experience failure than an older person. So, as science would have it, you're wrong.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The additional comment I would make in your case (and other young men who might share your view) is that your perception of actual divorce statistics is skewed. You have swallowed this skewed perspective in the absence of personal experience (you've never been married). That introduces undue bias (AKA jaded negative attitudes) which you incorporate into your assumptions. In your own relationships this can create a self-fulfilling prophecy which will then reinforce your self defeating beliefs. Sazc has warned you about this very thing on this very forum. Fact is that many marriages are just fine, thank you. Pick the right partner, become the right partner and you'll greatly increase your chances for success.

BE, you assume that I actually hate women to begin with. I don't. There goes the entire premise of your argument.

But I mean if we were to say that I did, you would still be wrong. If you're saying that I can't make a judgement call on something like this because I've never been married, then I can just as easily say that you can't either since you yourself are divorced lol. I mean you failed to make your marriage work after like 2 decades, it doesn't like I really should be taking advice from you lmao. But the thing is, these are just logical fallacies. Pure logic, like the statistics I mentioned, are what REAL conclusions can be drawn from. THESE are the objective facts, not your one, single, subjective experience. Your single experience is meaningless relative to the millions of others, especially considering that you're marriage is actually of the non-favorable side of the statistic lol. Funny enough, if you ever saw me and dealt with me irl, you'd probably be attracted to me yourself hahaha

Look, I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking. It's just what our gut instincts tell us. The only difference between me and them is that I'm better able to quantify these types of things into words.

Meanwhile in your own life eventually you are going to observe people around you having good experiences (because they have not introduced negative bias) and you are likely to be so bound by your beliefs that you will deny objective fact in favor of faulty beliefs. And you'll not understand why THEY are having something you desire. You won't see how your own attitudes are blocking you.

You're either really indignant about what I've said, or you are out of touch you are with young people. Probably both. No one in my age group is really happy. Especially women. I mean, no one in the entire world is really happy right now tbh, that's why everyone everywhere is protesting lol. But that's besides the point. No one is really happy because no one really has anything that they want. I'm actually doing a lot better than most people I think. Could I be doing better? **** yeah. But I'd say I'm definitely above the paygrade.


Thanks for reading.

 

[BeExcellent]

OK good. We are getting to a good discussion.

Humblebrag.

In Texas we have a saying. It ain't bragging if it's true.

If that is you, congrats because that would mean you are attractive for your age.

My skepticism comes from why someone over the age of 30 would be included in a photoshoot with a pose like that with those clothes

Why not?

Yes it's me and those are MY clothes. I had the photos done precisely because I'm not going to look like this forever. And that's cool. My guy and I have discussed doing a shoot together with him in a tux and me in a very cool dress that is both classy and sexy...for the same reason. We both retain a youthful, sexy and attractive look currently. But age comes for us all and it's cool to have some photos for posterity because we can.

You might find a few every once in a while with dudes born in the year 2000, but it's so much more rare than it already is. Not just that, but there are MAJOR paradigm shifts between 2000-01 babies and 02-03 babies. They just believe in different movements, have COMPLETELY different ways of thinking, it's unprecedented. Even my sister who is still in high school noted this.

My son, a 17 year old high school senior (born 2002), is growing into a solid young man. But he's a bit unusual. He's attended an all male military academy since 6th grade, has strong male examples in both his grandfathers, all his uncles and great uncles and his father, although not a great spouse, has been a loving and hands on father who also works at the school where my son goes. So he has seen many good examples of what a MAN is supposed to be. He knows my ex BF (a high ranking military NCO) and has seen how I defer to him, and how I revere my late father. He is ambitious and focused. He openly debates liberal people at the school and is unafraid to oppose someone and hold intelligent discourse. He is respectful but holds to his own beliefs. He knows the world owes him nothing and that he needs to get out there and make something of himself. He makes great grades, is responsible, does not smoke or drink (as someone aspiring to a military officer career he understands doing this would derail his aims), and he does not bow to peer pressure. The other cadets respect him and defer to him. So he's doing OK so far. He's a natural leader and I'm not saying that just because I'm his mom.

You assume that your experiences are "objective fact" because they 'challenge' my beliefs?

My experiences ARE objective fact. Whether you believe that or not is immaterial. Truth isn't narcissistic. It simply IS because it simply exists. Your experiences are also objective fact because whatever happens to you is what happens. I'm not sitting here arguing about your experience in the world. But you seem to take issue with mine. Let it be. My experience is as stated. I've no reason to make things up. Just as you don't.

Crystallized intelligence vs fluid intelligence. As a young person, I am more willing to be wrong and experience failure than an older person. So, as science would have it, you're wrong.

Can you not see both the judgement and the assumption in your own quote above? You assume I fear failure due to my age. I do not. In fact I am MORE fearless now than ever before because I have MORE experience now than ever before. It is true that you have a longer time horizon to correct for errors in judgement that you might make. But I have greater experience to understand risk and to correct efficiently. That allows me to make better decisions. And if I fail? Big deal. I figure it out and go on. But I fail less and less as I learn more and more about the mechanics of success and fully internalize the Law of Attraction, which is powerful.

Go read my thread in Wealth and Success. I go into this is great detail there.

And no. I do not assume you hate women. You just have binary thinking which means you see things in more black and white than in the gradient that life gives you on a continuum in many places. If you didn't have binary thinking you wouldn't assert me being wrong versus you being right. You'd understand that its NOT a question of right or wrong. It's a question of what is the appropriate thing for you as an individual, which is going to differ from what is appropriate for me or for someone else.

I hope to see you as successful as you can be. I harbor no ill will toward you. I think you have an inquisitive mind and I know you are ambitious and aspire to great things. I hope you accomplish all your aims.

 

[candyman105]

She is so tedious and boring and repetitive. Ban.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

My son, a 17 year old high school senior (born 2002), is growing into a solid young man. But he's a bit unusual. He's attended an all male military academy since 6th grade, has strong male examples in both his grandfathers, all his uncles and great uncles and his father, although not a great spouse, has been a loving and hands on father who also works at the school where my son goes. So he has seen many good examples of what a MAN is supposed to be. He knows my ex BF (a high ranking military NCO) and has seen how I defer to him, and how I revere my late father. He is ambitious and focused. He openly debates liberal people at the school and is unafraid to oppose someone and hold intelligent discourse. He is respectful but holds to his own beliefs. He knows the world owes him nothing and that he needs to get out there and make something of himself. He makes great grades, is responsible, does not smoke or drink (as someone aspiring to a military officer career he understands doing this would derail his aims), and he does not bow to peer pressure. The other cadets respect him and defer to him. So he's doing OK so far. He's a natural leader and I'm not saying that just because I'm his mom.

How would he fare in standard public high schools? Most people don’t go to military academies, and I’ve never seen one or been to one myself. All the guys at my old high schools who were going into the military after graduating were a bunch of weirdos lol and I’m not saying that just to knock him, it was just true. Also, just because someone happens to know or be related to someone who is/was considered great doesn’t mean that they themselves will be great either.

My experiences ARE objective fact. Whether you believe that or not is immaterial. Truth isn't narcissistic. It simply IS because it simply exists. Your experiences are also objective fact because whatever happens to you is what happens. I'm not sitting here arguing about your experience in the world. But you seem to take issue with mine. Let it be. My experience is as stated. I've no reason to make things up. Just as you don't.

Yeah I don’t think that’s what objective fact is, but if you’re gonna view it this way, than all that means is that my truth is greater than yours. And that’s an incredibly arrogant thing to say, but according to you, it’s isn't because it’s true (I still disagree with that, but whatevs).

Can you not see both the judgement and the assumption in your own quote above? You assume I fear failure due to my age. I do not. In fact I am MORE fearless now than ever before

I didn’t say you were fearful, way to go trying to twist it around into talking yourself up again i.e. “I’m fearless! Yeah! Gurl powrrr!” looooolll

I am MORE fearless now than ever before because I have MORE experience now than ever before.

This is quite precisely what crystallized intelligence is. It‘s the stuff you know based off of what you learned from past experiences. Which isn’t a good or bad thing, really, it’s more of a phenomenon. But the thing is, it’s because of that fact that you become less willing to be wrong about something i.e. “this is what I’ve always done and I’m right because of it”. You see this a lot in some really old people, how they’re really stubborn sometimes. THIS is that black/white thinking that you said I have, even though I’m telling you that I disagree with this.

It is true that you have a longer time horizon to correct for errors in judgement that you might make. But I have greater experience to understand risk and to correct efficiently. That allows me to make better decisions. And if I fail? Big deal. I figure it out and go on. But I fail less and less as I learn more and more about the mechanics of success and fully internalize the Law of Attraction, which is powerful.

Experience does not equate to knowledge or wisdom, nor does age even equate to experience either. It’s more so analytical ability imo. But even that doesn’t do it justice because there’s some people who just naturally have great judgement, and it’s not even because of any reason that you can pinpoint. Some people just ARE wise for (seemingly) no reason. I’m not implying I’m one of them, but I’m conscious of who those people are, and I can spot a good decision/judgement call when I see it. Just because I haven’t been through some of those experiences doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to handle them, either. In fact, part of the reason why I don’t have many of the problems that most people have is because I just have a natural ability in dealing with certain problems, but people just disregard a lot of what I say on complex issues and just chalk it up as me just ‘being young’ for whatever reason, even though I first questioned my life choices at 11 years old when everyone else here did so in their 30s lol.

And I know all about the Laws of Attraction. That’s how I originally fixed my life the first time around. It impacted things in my life that it just should NOT have Ben able to, things that cannot be due to a simply placebo. Anyone who says it isn’t real is just a lazy idiot.

You just have binary thinking which means you see things in more black and white than in the gradient that life gives you on a continuum in many places. If you didn't have binary thinking you wouldn't assert me being wrong versus you being right. You'd understand that its NOT a question of right or wrong. It's a question of what is the appropriate thing for you as an individual, which is going to differ from what is appropriate for me or for someone else.

It’s not that I have binary thinking, I’m just very forceful with what I say (you can thank testosterone for that). Me saying what is right/wrong does take into account the context of the individual and their circumstances. In vague situations, I will detail what possible options one may have, and I will explain the pros and cons of each and detail when they should choose one decision over another. Like “this is the right decision for X given Y, but would be stupid to do for A given B because of 123”. That’s more or less how I am. Think Donald Trump, with a little bit more force and harder words when confronted with bull****. I just speak with heavy conviction. Like Trump, it doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

———————

BE I pick on you over semantics because of the implications of your words. While at face value the message appears to have interests that align with that of the forum’s, when woven together, the implications run completely counter because of the subtle nuances that you’ll only see if you read between the lines. That’s why a lot of posters here call you out/dislike your posts so much. Their gut instinct tells them that something about what you’re saying doesn’t feel right, but they aren’t able to explain why.

I, however, can. And that’s why I do it. It’s a way to hone my verbal articulation, increase my ability to express what I’m seeing/feeling/experiencing, and enhance my ability to spot bull****/dishonesty. Not to mention, it makes me more cognizant of my own internal processes that typically go on inside of us unnoticed. In essence, sometimes you have a strange feeling about something, but don’t know why or you aren’t able to put it into words why you have that strange feeling; for me, I’ve been trying to get better at that “why”, if that makes sense. That’s not to say that I don’t find things annoying, because I do. But I choose to argue with you over other idiot posters on here because you’re more refined in ‘art’ of persuasion and are a lot more subtle when it comes to presenting information. Consider yourself lucky that I chose you

 

[Spaz]

Why not just ignore me then @ImTheDoubleGreatest! ? You were ignoring me before, so what gives?

Is my message so powerful and dangerous that you need to warn others? That’s giving me tremendous power & credit.

I think the men here are smart enough to figure out what makes sense in their own lives from their own individual perspectives.

Your contributions on this thread are attacking in nature. To what end? You present yourself as unhinged and irrational and angry. Insulting me makes you look bad & erodes your credibility. Seriously.

I know personally many couples who are happy marrieds raising great well adjusted young men & women and reaping financial success as well in great partnerships with one another. I know MANY couples like this ranging from ages in the 20s to the 80s.

Many men here would like to find a great relationship. Jaded posters who post angry vitriolic content cannot help these men because they are so lost in their own negativity and BS.

This thread illustrates well who reasonable men looking for solid advice should not listen to. There IS plenty of great information available on the forum. But people must also consider who it is they chose to listen to. I’m a woman. I’m going to have a female viewpoint.

That is why I identify myself regularly as a woman in fact. So the reader knows I’m a woman and can decide whether my female contribution has value for him as an individual man.

Posters who attack others simply show the board who they are. And that’s good.

And yes @SpeculatorE I am good with my spiritual life.

@Spaz I look forward to the discussion.

Posters who attack other posters are being aggressive in their thoughts and that's fine since it's part of masculinity, consider it a training for men to be able to handle and give stress, that's how men are able to surpass their limits.

This is the masculine way and not the feminine.

Which is why I've never even once reported nor put anyone on ignore.

Now as to the main thrust of this thread, "Beware of the Jaded", while its true that men here must be aware of what's written, however, there's also a tremendous amount of other men who could give an opposing view to what is preached.

What is certain, which is not good for men in general, is being supplicant or given narratives that teaches men to be supplicating.

Perhaps you could expand on what a women thinks or knows of a supplicating man and how to avert it?

Anyway, the moment a man does anything with the view of attracting women would be the moment he has made himself become undone as a man.

Cultivating admiration and respect through his deeds, acts, thoughts and results is what a man should be aiming for in life - to be excellent or even simply going in that direction would suffice.

 

[Spaz]

This is exactly the problem with women when they come on here lol but BE does it with an air of superiority compared to other women who've been on here.

No one in this world has nobility anymore. Very few ever had it to begin with.

Her intention is noble from a feminine point of view since its with the intention of making men in general think.

Can you blame her for thinking from a feminine perspective that a man should act in such fashion per her world view?

Now whether it's right or not is an entirely different matter.

Hence the discussion, which will benefit you as well as others reading it to finally form a new way of thinking since that will also affect how they do things in real life.

 

[Spaz]

Whatever...tell Satan, God is coming for him.

I'm worried about you.

You need to take more vitamins to increase ur level of IQ.