Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Clinger but good woman

dk1990S111

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 7, 2014
Messages
673
Reaction score
208
Location
Los Angeles
Trying to decide what to do in this case. Have this great woman that is hot as fvck, similar interests and in her own words always puts her man first.

Problem is she just recently asked if I wanted her as a gf, told her ya sure. But she’s already talking way in the future.

With how hot she is honestly would love to keep her around a while but don’t see things going very far into the future with her. Don’t want to be an ahole that wastes her time though when she’s legit a good person that trusts me.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,881
Reaction score
19,140
Trying to decide what to do in this case. Have this great woman that is hot as fvck, similar interests and in her own words always puts her man first.

Problem is she just recently asked if I wanted her as a gf, told her ya sure. But she’s already talking way in the future.

With how hot she is honestly would love to keep her around a while but don’t see things going very far into the future with her. Don’t want to be an ahole that wastes her time though when she’s legit a good person that trusts me.
Get what you want out of the relationship. What is it that makes you think longer term won't work or is it that you just don't know her well enough yet? How many times have you been out with her?
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
3,796
Best thing to do is communicate. I dated one that wasn't exactly a "hottie" but I'd give her an "8" on the scale. She was confident and attractive, yet clung to me like a 'fattie with no options' (and my former gal had plenty).

I can relate to your story because I enjoyed her company (but in smaller doses than she did, mine) and she was also a nice person. Be sure to not let alcohol do some 'in the moment' regretful talking. Also, keep visits less frequent. Unfortunately, this may also increase her desire for you.

You can also apply a 'cousin' formula to the old "it's me not you" scenario. By doing this, you can basically, talk of past light hearted situations going more favorably than those of long-term commitment. Chance are, initially, she'll only hear what she wants to hear, but if it's brought up enough and in different variation (and your actions are consistent) the message will eventually come across.

Cheers for having consideration for another. This doesn't seem to be a common practice among many forum members.
 

dk1990S111

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 7, 2014
Messages
673
Reaction score
208
Location
Los Angeles
@BackInTheGame78 been out maybe 5 or 6 times since just before Halloween.

@Black Widow Void thanks for the advice on saying things to try to get the point across to her. Will definitely try that. Definitely feel like being involved with her now it’s kinda a lose-lose for me. She is really into me and really wants a future. Break it off now and at least she can continue looking for someone to fill that role.

@Tilex shes young 40s, by all means she should be jaded based on her past experiences. Problem is with her age I can’t see long term because I’d eventually like a son (only if I was 100% sure I found the right woman for that). Not going to happen with this one.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Mazer

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2017
Messages
801
Reaction score
890
Age
48
From my experience, these types of women want to move fast with every man they meet. You are nothing special, just the next guy she wants to lock down. She will do it with the next guy. Just see where it goes but I wouldn’t stop spinning plates until you fully get to know her and then you can think about it, obviously don’t let her in on your plan. Good luck
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,415
Reaction score
7,937
Age
57
Advice from the old lady:

You want kids. Really she’s high risk for healthy children. So she isn’t a woman who can provide what you want.

The kind thing to do is cut her loose. This frees you up to find a younger woman who can bear healthy kids, and frees her up to find a man who is not looking for children.

Using her for sex & validation wastes your time & her time. Using her for sex is what harms her for a man who might really appreciate her.

Be honest about what you want. Be honest with her. Three years ago I had a couple of dates with a hot man who was a physical therapist. On the 3rd date he noted how he wanted a wife & to be a father one day.

I dropped him immediately. I knew I wasn’t his girl since I’m done having children. He was super into me & we remain friendly when we run into each other. But he’s found a hot Latina veterinarian who he will likely marry. She’s in her 30’s. She’s a lovely woman from a good family & is a great match for him.

I didn’t want to waste his time or mine. And he was freed up to find the right woman for his long term goals.

Let her go. For both your sakes.
 

17 shots

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2016
Messages
1,106
Reaction score
1,018
she just recently asked if I wanted her as a gf, told her ya sure
Tell her she can be ONE of your girlfriends. A lot of women don't mind sharing, but you have to keep it player. At her age I'm sure she's not even expecting a young guy to make his life all about her

When you keep it player they either stay or walk, but that's ok. Part of the game is letting them go
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

stovepipe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
965
Reaction score
1,084
More times than not, whenever a dude posts "she's hot as fuk" has red flags awaiting him.
 

dk1990S111

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 7, 2014
Messages
673
Reaction score
208
Location
Los Angeles
How is this a problem OP? She’s hot and all over you, right? You’d rather a selfish, jaded bytch?
Ya sounds great but I just don’t want to make her think there’s a long term when she’s past the age of having kids. Know that down the road I’d have to leave her and feel bad that I’d have wasted her time, normally wouldn’t worry about it but since she isn’t a jaded bytch I do feel bad lol
 
Top