"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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reformed beta husband

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Tortured husband here - a decade supplicating to try to make things better at home with a bpd wife.

I read Rational Male in one sitting and am being a good red pill student.

Has anyone noticed that getting unplugged is like a withdrawal from an addiction.

I am puking up old traumas, seeing things in a totally new light, and 100% asserting myself at home and passing/anticipating every **** test.

Just want to show appreciation to Rollo and everyone brave enough and smart enough to compile this and to myself for stopping

saved soul here
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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RickTheToad

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Tortured husband here - a decade supplicating to try to make things better at home with a bpd wife.

I read Rational Male in one sitting and am being a good red pill student.

Has anyone noticed that getting unplugged is like a withdrawal from an addiction.

I am puking up old traumas, seeing things in a totally new light, and 100% asserting myself at home and passing/anticipating every **** test.

Just want to show appreciation to Rollo and everyone brave enough and smart enough to compile this and to myself for stopping

saved soul here
It's called red pill rage. Anything worth doing hurts and is a struggle. Stay strong.
 

Julian

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U still with the bpd?
 

Late Bloomer

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It's called red pill rage. Anything worth doing hurts and is a struggle. Stay strong.
appreciate the words of encouragement. Agree that nothing worth it comes easily. I have rage mixed with a fair amount of happiness and humor right now I would say. But 90% rage and 10% the rest.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DelayedGratification

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kids are involved - so yes I am currently. advice?
With the caveat that I know nothing about your circumstance, I can say that through therapy (pre-red-pill) I ended up going the divorce route. Hated the notion of how it would affect my boys, but now I can see that they are better off being raised by a better version of me, which offsets the downsides of a split household.

My ex was/is totally BPD. I can see it so clearly now, and I do what I can to blunt the effect on my children. For me the tradeoff was a single household, filled with conflict and my impotence in mitigating her BPD influence, vs having the agency to create a more positive environment for them during the times (50/50) that they are with me. Look up my other posts to get more history on all this.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Tortured husband here - a decade supplicating to try to make things better at home with a bpd wife.

I read Rational Male in one sitting and am being a good red pill student.

Has anyone noticed that getting unplugged is like a withdrawal from an addiction.

I am puking up old traumas, seeing things in a totally new light, and 100% asserting myself at home and passing/anticipating every **** test.

Just want to show appreciation to Rollo and everyone brave enough and smart enough to compile this and to myself for stopping

saved soul here
Did she cheat on you?
 

Late Bloomer

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With the caveat that I know nothing about your circumstance, I can say that through therapy (pre-red-pill) I ended up going the divorce route. Hated the notion of how it would affect my boys, but now I can see that they are better off being raised by a better version of me, which offsets the downsides of a split household.

My ex was/is totally BPD. I can see it so clearly now, and I do what I can to blunt the effect on my children. For me the tradeoff was a single household, filled with conflict and my impotence in mitigating her BPD influence, vs having the agency to create a more positive environment for them during the times (50/50) that they are with me. Look up my other posts to get more history on all this.
Appreciate this - very meaningful and helpful. Thanks for sharing - will read your posts
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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eli77

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stay positive and hopeful what does not kill you makes you stronger
 

speed dawg

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She isn't BDP

You acted weak.. Thats how woman behave around weak men.
Yep so many guys want to throw out BPD, but the reality is, that's how western women act, especially when they do not respect their husband.

Glad to see OP is changing things for himself.
 
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