Question about next step

[Juanto]

So I met this girl on a meetup event last friday, and after I asked her out on monday to go out the next day. She agreed , and so we did go out. Date went OK, not great because I should have escalated more but I did touch her hands and legs, to which she didnt back off. Didnt go for the kiss though which I regret, but 2 days later (yesterday) after she initiated contact with me I asked her to join me in a big city celebration next sunday. She jokingly replied if I really wanted to spend more time with a single child ( i teased her during the date that I thought she was one, even though she isnt), and that she thought I have had enough of her. I replied the next day (today´s morning) saying that it wasnt a problem, I had a solution for single childs (and sent her a picture of plastic hammers that people use here during this city celebration to hit other people in the head.)

After my last message this morning, she went silent. Should I assume she is a no-show on sunday and dont say anything til then?

 

[flowtheory]

So I met this girl on a meetup event last friday, and after I asked her out on monday to go out the next day. She agreed , and so we did go out. Date went OK, not great because I should have escalated more but I did touch her hands and legs, to which she didnt back off. Didnt go for the kiss though which I regret, but 2 days later (yesterday) after she initiated contact with me I asked her to join me in a big city celebration next sunday. She jokingly replied if I really wanted to spend more time with a single child ( i teased her during the date that I thought she was one, even though she isnt), and that she thought I have had enough of her. I replied the next day (today´s morning) saying that it wasnt a problem, I had a solution for single childs (and sent her a picture of plastic hammers that people use here during this city celebration to hit other people in the head.)

After my last message this morning, she went silent. Should I assume she is a no-show on sunday and dont say anything til then?

Did you set up an actual date?

Like.. I’m going to *thing* at 3:30pm, meet outside of *place* then. Does that work for you too?

 

[Juanto]

Did you set up an actual date?

Like.. I’m going to *thing* at 3:30pm, meet outside of *place* then. Does that work for you too?

No, but then again I also didnt do it the first time, in the subsequent message I gave her the details (time, place etc).

But do you reckon this could be a sticking point in my game and in this case?

 

[backseatjuan]

Single child is you in w0manise. She obviously don’t want to spend more time with you this sunday. Next step is to challenge yourself, different woman for next week? You up for it?

 

[Juanto]

Single child is you in w0manise

what do you mean with this?

 

[backseatjuan]

I wonder how many possible different things I could mean with that!

 

[Juanto]

Next step is to challenge yourself, different woman for next week

Yes you are right here.

 

[Juanto]

She replied today saying she was sorry for the late reply, but she already had made plans for tonight’s party but if I was around we could meet up for drinks.

Think this was a soft/medium rejection yes? Delete number and move on?

 

[sazc]

She replied today saying she was sorry for the late reply, but she already had made plans for tonight’s party but if I was around we could meet up for drinks.

Think this was a soft/medium rejection yes? Delete number and move on?

Play it aloof.
Do not reply.

Now you need to decide if you ever respond to her again, or if you test IL and wait her out.

You can ahead wait a week, text her and say "that festival was too much fun, wasn't it? How about drinks in x day at y place at z time?"

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Play it aloof.
Do not reply.

Now you need to decide if you ever respond to her again, or if you test IL and wait her out.

You can ahead wait a week, text her and say "that festival was too much fun, wasn't it? How about drinks in x day at y place at z time?"

Agreed! Don’t allow yourself to be treated as an afterthought.

 

[Juanto]

Play it aloof.
Do not reply.

Now you need to decide if you ever respond to her again, or if you test IL and wait her out.

You can ahead wait a week, text her and say "that festival was too much fun, wasn't it? How about drinks in x day at y place at z time?"

Thanks, i think this is sensible.

 

[flowtheory]

No, but then again I also didnt do it the first time, in the subsequent message I gave her the details (time, place etc).

But do you reckon this could be a sticking point in my game and in this case?

When planning dates I always give a time, location, and a question for confirmation *does that work for you too?*. Once she has confirmed, I don’t reach out again. If she does, I’ll respond accordingly, curtly, and in a positive manner. Save the seduction and talk for in-person. Always.

But if you make a general loose plan like you did in your first post, nothing is concrete and she isn’t being lead properly. Because even she is probably thinking ‘so where is this date?’ And more importantly, YOU don’t know what’s going on with YOUR plans and day.

 

[flowtheory]

She replied today saying she was sorry for the late reply, but she already had made plans for tonight’s party but if I was around we could meet up for drinks.

She rejected last minute because she was holding out for someone else. She isn’t sorry.

Do what @sazc said now. But know her interest level is probably no higher than 50% which is dangerous this early on..

 

[lamath]

She rejected last minute because she was holding out for someone else. She isn’t sorry.

Do what @sazc said now. But know her interest level is probably no higher than 50% which is dangerous this early on..

I think this is spot on, women flakiness is usualy because too many options.

I guess you were not her #1 choice.

Dont anwser her last msg.
Only anwser her again if she makes a clear effort.

 

[flowtheory]

Dont anwser her last msg.
Only anwser her again if she makes a clear effort.

He can send out one more message. Might as well as he has nothing to lose. He can just use it as an experience to foster better game.
And if they go out, he has to escalate to sex. Her emotions aren’t engaged heavily enough with him.

The touches were not enough, no kiss and coupled with the weak planning. It’s low emotions for her. Comes off less decisive and direct to what OP really wants.

1 more effort. And gofor exactly what you want. Live lavishly in your masculine energy my friend.

Even if she has tons of options, 97% of them will be weak betas who are just okay and she will use to validate her. She’s fielding her choices. And her putting you aside today for someone who maybe instilled more emotions in her, is her actions telling you she’s not highly interested. But she’s not dropping you, because she was still polite and responded.
She could have also held out for someone who she’s been seeing awhile, an ex, who knows. But the result for you is still the same... no date.

When you reach out in a week, if she does anything but agree to the date or a date alternative, you terminate this one. If she gives an alternative but then flakes or tries to reschedule that, you terminate.

 

[lamath]

He can send out one more message. Might as well as he has nothing to lose. He can just use it as an experience to foster better game.
And if they go out, he has to escalate to sex. Her emotions aren’t engaged heavily enough with him.

The touches were not enough, no kiss and coupled with the weak planning. It’s low emotions for her. Comes off less decisive and direct to what OP really wants.

1 more effort. And gofor exactly what you want. Live lavishly in your masculine energy my friend

I agree on the experience for better game.

I would just not invest too much in this women.
You want to be her number 1 choice, but ik that this might not happen that often for some men.


This situation imo is way more common on old

 

[flowtheory]

I agree on the experience for better game.

I would just not invest too much in this women.
You want to be her number 1 choice, but ik that this might not happen that often for some men.


This situation imo is way more common on old

I agree. He should be fielding other people as well. He shouldn’t just have this one as his only option.
I’m merely speaking to what he has to do with this individual woman.

There’s always the perspective that if her interest isn’t 70% and up right after the first date, you’re just running up hill and it’s a lost game from the outset.

 

[lamath]

I agree. He should be fielding other people as well. He shouldn’t just have this one as his only option.
I’m merely speaking to what he has to do with this individual woman.

There’s always the perspective that if her interest isn’t 70% and up right after the first date, you’re just running up hill and it’s a lost game from the outset.

Sometime also very hard to assess IL need to be very perceptive.

 

[flowtheory]

Sometime also very hard to assess IL need to be very perceptive.

Her not responding for two days is gauging her IL.
Her not suggesting an alternative date today is gauging her IL.
Watch the actions; always.
A woman with medium interest will still help a guy out. Women who want to see a man will not leave them confused. Women open doors for men they have IL in. Women shut doors and start being difficult when their IL is below 50.

Right now he’s possibly getting slotted in to beta orbiter role.

 

[Juanto]

Excellent advices guys, thank you. That is a clear strategy for this woman and for others to come in the future.

I will wait til next weekend to reach out to her again, but in the (small) chance she is the one reaching out to me in the meantime should I assume she is contacting me to facilitate me making a new date, and therefore I should ask her out for a last time?