So I actually made myself approach a girl who was exactly my taste tonight

[Atom Smasher]

Always assume that any prospective date WANTS you to be decisive and take charge. I always say that women absolutely crave this, because most men are not decisive, but rather they are timid and tentative.

YOU set the tone. She wants nothing to do with decision making. Women hate to make decisions and they love a man to decide what they are going to do, especially in the very early stages. Later, she can have some input. She wants you to take the reins, brother. Believe it.

It may be too late for this one... we are not sure yet. But for the next one, mark my words and follow them. You will be blown away how attracted women are to a man of decision.

 

[guru1000]

Dave, you ask a lot of questions and that's good. Outside of getting abundant I'm going to share one more thing I'd like you to develop or start to work on:

I want you to understand one important concept: Hot chicks don't care about looks or money (without it put to status) per se as much as you think. They care about high value. Sometimes these concepts are intertwined whereas good looks or money create high value but ultimately it is the high value that attracts and can be mutually exclusive and apart from looks/money too. This is wired deep in their DNA and they have limited control over whom they are attracted to. If you look at most 8-9s, you'll see them with men couple points below their SMV, but usually with men who portray higher social value. This is not the exception, rather the rule. At least almost ubiquitously in NYC.

The portrayal of high value is what you are after and more often this is found in the alphas of social groups. Since you don't have much social group standing in elite groups, you need to focus on building this high value in other ways.

In every act and interaction you must display such value. Text medium is an exchange that is very tricky for the newbies as learning how to project high value in such a medium to a basic stranger is not easy. When you text things like, " So how do you like Illinois?" That is a low value question. Your pics on OLD are low value pics. The pics you post here in that red shirt selfie also make you appear as low value. Your problem is what you are projecting.

This is the area I believe you need to work on in especially in the context of your social acuity; that is ... how to build a high value vibe. Only then, can you do anything, and rules no longer apply.

Whenever you are faced with a question of what to do: Think, "What would a high value man do/say in this exact situation?" You start there, and your behaviors will eventually internalize until you project that vibe unconsciously.

 

[bigdave17]

Always assume that any prospective date WANTS you to be decisive and take charge. I always say that women absolutely crave this, because most men are not decisive, but rather they are timid and tentative.

YOU set the tone. She wants nothing to do with decision making. Women hate to make decisions and they love a man to decide what they are going to do, especially in the very early stages. Later, she can have some input. She wants you to take the reins, brother. Believe it.

It may be too late for this one... we are not sure yet. But for the next one, mark my words and follow them. You will be blown away how attracted women are to a man of decision.

But how do you do it that way and still making it a 1 on 1?

I don't want a friends group date. I want to see her 1 on 1

Give me an example of a quality 1st date idea and how to ask for it

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You’re blindly putting faith into rules.

No, he's not.

He's using a self-deceptive based adherence to rules to hide the fact (from himself most of all) he is TERRIFIED of chatting up random people, especially attractive women.

 

[bigdave17]

Dave, you ask a lot of questions and that's good. Outside of getting abundant I'm going to share one more thing I'd like you to develop or start to work on:

I want you to understand one important concept: Hot chicks don't care about looks or money (without it put to status) per se as much as you think. They care about high value. Sometimes these concepts are intertwined whereas good looks or money create high value but ultimately it is the high value that attracts and can be mutually exclusive and apart from looks/money too. This is wired deep in their DNA and they have limited control over whom they are attracted to. Looks at most 8-9s, and you'll see them with men couple points below their SMV, but usually with men who portray higher social value. This is not the exception, rather the rule.

The portrayal of high value is what you are after and more often this is found in the alphas of social groups. Since you don't have much social group standing in elite groups, you need to focus on building this high value in other ways.

In every act and interaction you must display such value. Text medium is an exchange that is very tricky for the newbies as learning how to project high value in such a medium is not easy. When you text things like, " So how do you like Illinois?" That is a low value question. Your pics on OLD are low value pics. The pics you post here in that red shirt selfie also make you appear as low value. Your problem is what you are projecting.

This is the area I believe you need to work on in especially in your social acuity; that is ... how to build a high value vibe. Only then, can you do anything, and rules no longer apply.

Whenever you are faced with a question: Respond with, "What would a high value man do/say in this exact situation?" You start there, and your behaviors will internalize until you project that vibe unconsiously.

I'm not a good writer, never have been. It was my mistake to start texting any sort of convo. I should have done exactly as you said

I need to focus on my real strengths- i have excellent body language and masculine good voice. I need to focus on meeting women in person and if i get a number, trying to get a date out of it ASAP

 

[bigdave17]

No, he's not.

He's using a self-deceptive based adherence to rules to hide the fact (from himself most of all) he is TERRIFIED of chatting up random people, especially attractive women.

I approached these 2 women on Saturday, including a legit 8/10 (her friend was gross)

By myself, no wingman

 

[17 shots]

Knock it off dave, you've been making threads here for 2 years, and now you're acting as if you're clueless on how to set up a 1 on 1 date. You're lucky so many people here have a savior complex

 

[Atom Smasher]

But how do you do it that way and still making it a 1 on 1?

I don't want a friends group date. I want to see her 1 on 1

Give me an example of a quality 1st date idea and how to ask for it

"Hey, are you free Friday night? I was thinking we could hit up XYZ" That's if you're doing the bar thing, which isn't my cup of tea.

Action dates are much better for developing relationships. Museum, mini golf, street festivals or carnivals (they will start happening in Spring), wine tasting, breweries, bowling, antiquing, hiking, bike riding, escape rooms, are just a few things off the top of my head.

Also concerts, special movie events (like a special art house showing), nature center, glass blowing place, historical towns, zoo, disc golf, beach/lake, fishing, farmers' market, historical sites, bridges, art galleries, art class, minor league sporting event, botanical garden, beach for sunrise or sunset, cool vintage diner, park or nature center to take pictures, regional play, scenic train ride/boat ride

 

[sosousage]

you fuc.ked her or not @bigdave17

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I approached these 2 women on Saturday, including a legit 8/10

Do that several times per week for the next year or so.

 

[Chi Town]

You're lucky so many people here have a savior complex

Lol, ain't that the truth, they all have a savior complex.....i don't get it

 

[Atom Smasher]

I sense that there is something larger going on here. We are dispensing the full catalog of knowledge to our Dave, all within his threads, and I'd bet my last dollar that most of us are interested in seeing whether he will use it and turn himself around, or whether he will ignore it and crash.

It's not so much of a savior complex as it is an experiment to see what our man here will do with this invaluable cache of knowledge. His threads are actually turning into a textbook of good advice for handling women and dating.

 

[zekko]

His threads are actually turning into a textbook of good advice for handling women and dating.

Well, there you go. They're not all a waste after all, are they?
Maybe someday they'll be in the DJ Bible lol.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Well, there you go. They're not all a waste after all, are they?
Maybe someday they'll be in the DJ Bible lol.

Not sure what you’re communicating here, but my point is that a lot of old principles are being re-articulated in these threads and it’s interesting to see the fresh take in one place.

 

[bigdave17]

I sense that there is something larger going on here. We are dispensing the full catalog of knowledge to our Dave, all within his threads, and I'd bet my last dollar that most of us are interested in seeing whether he will use it and turn himself around, or whether he will ignore it and crash.

It's not so much of a savior complex as it is an experiment to see what our man here will do with this invaluable cache of knowledge. His threads are actually turning into a textbook of good advice for handling women and dating.

Really good info in this thread

I'm grateful all you guys are willing to help me out. The only thing i will say is you guys are making it seem that its way easier for me to find dateable women that it actually is. I live in suburbs and i don't see attractive, fit women my age outside of maybe gym and bars. You guys think i can approach 20 women a week who are my type and that's not realistic at all

 

[zekko]

Not sure what you’re communicating here, but my point is that a lot of old principles are being re-articulated in these threads and it’s interesting to see the fresh take in one place.

I was agreeing. Couldn't resist the editorial comment though.

 

[RickTheToad]

Really good info in this thread

I'm grateful all you guys are willing to help me out. The only thing i will say is you guys are making it seem that its way easier for me to find dateable women that it actually is. I live in suburbs and i don't see attractive, fit women my age outside of maybe gym and bars. You guys think i can approach 20 women a week who are my type and that's not realistic at all

Can you? Yes. Will you? Right now? No. But, in time, you will. I can certainly see that.

 

[bigdave17]

Can you? Yes. Will you? Right now? No. But, in time, you will. I can certainly see that.

Dude i don't see dateable women outside of gyms and bars

And even most women at bars are not dateable. I like a quality natural classy looking intelligent 7/10... i live in suburbs. I'm not finding 20 of those per week

Not to mention i really need to start approaching at gyms...which is incredibly daunting

 

[RickTheToad]

Dude i don't see dateable women outside of gyms and bars

And even most women at bars are not dateable. I like a quality natural classy looking intelligent 7/10... i live in suburbs. I'm not finding 20 of those per week

Not to mention i really need to start approaching at gyms...which is incredibly daunting

Move to the city dude. You're too young living in the burbs anyway. There's an old saying. Why did Willie Sutton rob the bank. Because that is where the money is. Go to where the ladies are. I do not know Chicago, but I believe you know where the ladies are at. Go there.

 

[bigdave17]

Move to the city dude. You're too young living in the burbs anyway. There's an old saying. Why did Willie Sutton rob the bank. Because that is where the money is. Go to where the ladies are. I do not know Chicago, but I believe you know where the ladies are at. Go there.

Easier said than done. I'm deeply entrenched here - my house, job, friends and parents are all within 10 to 30 minutes from me

I know nobody in the city