Hello World

[danjuon]

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the length. This is half hello-my-old-friends, half frustrated rant, and half self-directed analysis, oh and another half appeal for help/suggestions.

I spent a good part of my teens and early 20's on this website, soaking up as much as I could on self-improvement, conversational techniques, etc. It changed my life for the better, and I found great ways to connect with women in genuine, healthy ways. This website allowed me to present myself in a way that made me more pleasant to be around, and generally more interesting as a person. I owe a debt of gratitude to this community for that.

I am now in my early-to-mid 30's. I've spent about 50% of my 20's and almost all of my 30's in LTRs with attractive, fit, energetic women. To get those women, I played to my unique qualities - a little bit weird, decently but not obscenely fit, prestigious institutional affiliations, great conversation, positive vibe, interest in per personal life, and high energy. This worked beautifully for me in my 20's. I used to say that one date meant two, if I want it.

Now that I'm back on the dating scene, I'm finding that my schtick is either out of tune, or it's just the wrong thing for the women I'm meeting. I find that I have great, pleasant conversation, but that no spark is generated. Something appears to be off from the beginning, and I honestly can't quite tell what it is. My varied and complex life now comes off as odd or strange. Women don't react well to my novelty. Instead, it seems to trigger some confusion and they visibly wrestle with how to respond. I hear things like, "oh... I've never met anyone who has done that before... interesting." Those talking points ued to slay back when I was a student.

Just so it's clear, when I say "they" I'm referring to 6 out of the past 8 dates that I've had in the most recent 3 weeks since getting back out into the dating scene. Lawyers, doctors, physical therapists, and financial advisors, some of whom are far more attractive than me and who obviously take fitness more seriously, have all reacted similarly. In the most recent few dates, I actually started holding back information about myself. It's almost like the more vanilla my life sounds, the better it seems to go. But even then there's only woman one of the past 9 who reciprocated my desire to see her again. This ratio is completely off from my past history. It's causing a real cognitive dissonance for me. My expectations about how dates will go are no longer matching reality. The women I have met are WAY better at deflecting and appearing interested in conversation without being romantically interested. They have very controlled body language and a fantastic conversationalists. But Something IS Missing.

What is missing? My grooming isn't great - it's good but not great. I cut my own hair and my eyebrows need work I guess. My physical fitness isn't great (I'm thin and fit but it doesn't show when I wear long sleeves because I'm very slender). So I guess my active lifestyle isn't so obvious. I am not the kind of guy currently who women see and would say to themselves, "that guy knows how to ****," that's for sure. There were brief times in my life when I've had that, and it has made a LOT of difference. TWICE out of the past 9 dates I've caught a women I'm with checking another guy out. TWICE. Perhaps that's what I need to do. I know that this website (at least when I was on here before) emphasized development of psychological factors like charm and conversational skills, but we all need to meet some threshold of physicality to even have a chance with a woman. I know that statement is absolutely true for men, myself included! A woman has several hurdles to cross with me, and the first is absolutely physical. If a woman is not physically attractive to me, it doesn't matter what the **** comes out of her mouth... I am not ever going to speak to her again except to let her know that I'm really busy if she even bothers to follow up (and the ugly/fat ones always do). Why would I expect a woman to be any different? An obviously-fit body, a career, decent grooming, and good conversation are my baseline. So why should I expect any less from these women? Maybe I need to take a break from dating for a while, and take all of my would-be energy for going on dates to become physically more fit.

There's this little voice on my shoulder from my time on this site that also tells me that plenty of women don't really care much about my physical proportions, and they respond well to charm, wit, ****y/funny attitudes, and playfulness. Well I'm ****ing old now and my energy isn't what it used to me. I've never been witty, and I've never been terribly funny. I'm extraordinarily professional successful, but I am not wealthy and won't be if I continue in my career path, so I can't even flash money around like it's no big deal. If being a great conversationalist was the only thing keeping me going in my 20's, then it sure as **** has become the baseline in my 30's, and I'm going to need to find something new. Maybe it's physical, maybe it's mental, I'm just not sure.

Just as a side note, what the **** is it with women allowing me to pay all of a sudden? In my 20's that **** was unthinkable. Women never just let me pay. Now, every single date that I've gone on, I've offered to pay (almost always coffee only or one drink) and the most pushback I've gotten thus far was a delayed, half-hearted offer followed by a sincere thanks.

Geez, I'm glad there's a forum for older people to discuss these things. Thanks for the opportunity to rant on here for a bit and clear my head after a terribly wonderful, pleasant and engaging date with an extremely attractive physician who is definitely not going to be following up to let me know if she's free this weekend.

 

[sosousage]

If you are professionally succesful to some extent AND in you early to mid 30's (I am such a person) then women, knowing your profession, won't be so eager to split the bill for coffe&cake on the first date, partially because other guys in your age are desperate enough to always pay, partially because that's what 'Rules" of engagement say about your manners, partially because you have the money (or they assume you have them) and partially because you are not hot enough for them to take care.

They might mention that they will pay on another occasion if they really want to see you but other than that if she didn't give you any impression that she wants to see you and she didn't want to split the bill then you know. It is how it is.

Being ripped/in better shape would certainly make game easier for you. I remember that when I was really in shape (meaning something like 2 years ago) I didn't have to pay for every date. Well, it did change for me as well.

However I did notice the same drop in IL from women coming from factor which is omitted by most of SMV comparators telling you that 34 to 36 old guy is THE GUY for women.

When you are in your 20's it's mostly about your body and personality.
When you are in your 30's rules change.

30y old man is the guy for women only if:
- successful carreer
- own apartment/car/pile-o-money (assets are the most important factor)
- still in shape
- great personality

If you miss one of the factors above you will get some dates. If you miss more than one SMV 6/10 women and above will go for phuck to sugar boy (23y old hot gym personal trainer she met two weeks ago that will give her personal session) and you will just pay for coffee and cake.

That's how it is. Once per month women around 30y old try to find a boyfriend on Tinder or Bumble and they are not really after doctors of philosophy there you know. They hope to find there strong beta f0cker that will get sex from her in exchange for status upgrade and assets (MD's, lawyers) OR she will go for fockboi (he can be stupid and ugly face but muscled body and thick c0.ck will help him seal the deal more than once)

So I'd not be too chatty on the first date with them really. It's about 60 mins of sniffing around each other out of courtesy but you know well after 10 or 15 if you want to hit that and she knows it after 1 or 2 really.

After about 5 months of using Tinder I had to delete it because I was annoyed by dynamics of this app. Basically speaking its enabling women to behave like sloots.

so true and so sad

dont use tinder, its rubbish

 

[danjuon]

When you are in your 20's it's mostly about your body and personality.
When you are in your 30's rules change.

30y old man is the guy for women only if:
- successful carreer
- own apartment/car/pile-o-money (assets are the most important factor)
- still in shape
- great personality

I like to believe that the only thing lacking in that list is my non-obvious fitness. Given that I only date fit women, the concept that I should be obviously quite fit myself should probably have been more obvious to me. I guess I got spoiled in my previous few relationships where it didn't seem to matter what I did for exercise - the attraction grew naturally from other characteristics and persisted because of the maintenance of a passionate, respectful, healthy dynamic.

Flexibility and static strength don't count for anything when you're being measured at the meat market. Time for me to lift moar.

 

[Desdinova]

Lawyers, doctors, physical therapists, and financial advisors, some of whom are far more attractive than me and who obviously take fitness more seriously, have all reacted similarly.

IMO, these kinds of women are trash. They've spent their younger years working toward this career choice and are now looking to satisfy their ticking biological clock. They want to get pregnant TODAY before they can no longer have children. All they want is a sperm donor. Younger women are where it's at.

There's this little voice on my shoulder from my time on this site that also tells me that plenty of women don't really care much about my physical proportions, and they respond well to charm, wit, ****y/funny attitudes, and playfulness. Well I'm ****ing old now and my energy isn't what it used to me. I've never been witty, and I've never been terribly funny.

Perhaps wit and humour are the things you should be working on. I rarely have it fail me. When I was working on my personality, I made a real effort to amplify my humour and actually say the things I was thinking. The skill of playing on words can be learned. All you need is a bit of a filthy mind, and you'll be able to insert sexual innuendo into almost anything, and people enjoy sexual innuendo. It makes you desirable to be around for both men and women. Appealing to the masses is an attractive trait.

And quit dating these serious professional bytches. Go for younger women who can feed you that energy that you're no longer feeling in your "old age". And your mid-30s aren't old. I did much better slaying women in my mid-30s than any other time in my dating history.

 

[SoSuave666]

IMO, these kinds of women are trash. They've spent their younger years working toward this career choice and are now looking to satisfy their ticking biological clock. They want to get pregnant TODAY before they can no longer have children. All they want is a sperm donor. Younger women are where it's at.



Perhaps wit and humour are the things you should be working on. I rarely have it fail me. When I was working on my personality, I made a real effort to amplify my humour and actually say the things I was thinking. The skill of playing on words can be learned. All you need is a bit of a filthy mind, and you'll be able to insert sexual innuendo into almost anything, and people enjoy sexual innuendo. It makes you desirable to be around for both men and women. Appealing to the masses is an attractive trait.

And quit dating these serious professional bytches. Go for younger women who can feed you that energy that you're no longer feeling in your "old age". And your mid-30s aren't old. I did much better slaying women in my mid-30s than any other time in my dating history.

My experience as well. I am 32 and I’m doing better now than I ever have, even with online dating. However, I have consistently found that professional women are far more bitchy and entitled than younger ones. They are in their masculine much more due to their professional environments.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the length. This is half hello-my-old-friends, half frustrated rant, and half self-directed analysis, oh and another half appeal for help/suggestions.

I spent a good part of my teens and early 20's on this website, soaking up as much as I could on self-improvement, conversational techniques, etc. It changed my life for the better, and I found great ways to connect with women in genuine, healthy ways. This website allowed me to present myself in a way that made me more pleasant to be around, and generally more interesting as a person. I owe a debt of gratitude to this community for that.

I am now in my early-to-mid 30's. I've spent about 50% of my 20's and almost all of my 30's in LTRs with attractive, fit, energetic women. To get those women, I played to my unique qualities - a little bit weird, decently but not obscenely fit, prestigious institutional affiliations, great conversation, positive vibe, interest in per personal life, and high energy. This worked beautifully for me in my 20's. I used to say that one date meant two, if I want it.

Now that I'm back on the dating scene, I'm finding that my schtick is either out of tune, or it's just the wrong thing for the women I'm meeting. I find that I have great, pleasant conversation, but that no spark is generated. Something appears to be off from the beginning, and I honestly can't quite tell what it is. My varied and complex life now comes off as odd or strange. Women don't react well to my novelty. Instead, it seems to trigger some confusion and they visibly wrestle with how to respond. I hear things like, "oh... I've never met anyone who has done that before... interesting." Those talking points ued to slay back when I was a student.

Just so it's clear, when I say "they" I'm referring to 6 out of the past 8 dates that I've had in the most recent 3 weeks since getting back out into the dating scene. Lawyers, doctors, physical therapists, and financial advisors, some of whom are far more attractive than me and who obviously take fitness more seriously, have all reacted similarly. In the most recent few dates, I actually started holding back information about myself. It's almost like the more vanilla my life sounds, the better it seems to go. But even then there's only woman one of the past 9 who reciprocated my desire to see her again. This ratio is completely off from my past history. It's causing a real cognitive dissonance for me. My expectations about how dates will go are no longer matching reality. The women I have met are WAY better at deflecting and appearing interested in conversation without being romantically interested. They have very controlled body language and a fantastic conversationalists. But Something IS Missing.

What is missing? My grooming isn't great - it's good but not great. I cut my own hair and my eyebrows need work I guess. My physical fitness isn't great (I'm thin and fit but it doesn't show when I wear long sleeves because I'm very slender). So I guess my active lifestyle isn't so obvious. I am not the kind of guy currently who women see and would say to themselves, "that guy knows how to ****," that's for sure. There were brief times in my life when I've had that, and it has made a LOT of difference. TWICE out of the past 9 dates I've caught a women I'm with checking another guy out. TWICE. Perhaps that's what I need to do. I know that this website (at least when I was on here before) emphasized development of psychological factors like charm and conversational skills, but we all need to meet some threshold of physicality to even have a chance with a woman. I know that statement is absolutely true for men, myself included! A woman has several hurdles to cross with me, and the first is absolutely physical. If a woman is not physically attractive to me, it doesn't matter what the **** comes out of her mouth... I am not ever going to speak to her again except to let her know that I'm really busy if she even bothers to follow up (and the ugly/fat ones always do). Why would I expect a woman to be any different? An obviously-fit body, a career, decent grooming, and good conversation are my baseline. So why should I expect any less from these women? Maybe I need to take a break from dating for a while, and take all of my would-be energy for going on dates to become physically more fit.

There's this little voice on my shoulder from my time on this site that also tells me that plenty of women don't really care much about my physical proportions, and they respond well to charm, wit, ****y/funny attitudes, and playfulness. Well I'm ****ing old now and my energy isn't what it used to me. I've never been witty, and I've never been terribly funny. I'm extraordinarily professional successful, but I am not wealthy and won't be if I continue in my career path, so I can't even flash money around like it's no big deal. If being a great conversationalist was the only thing keeping me going in my 20's, then it sure as **** has become the baseline in my 30's, and I'm going to need to find something new. Maybe it's physical, maybe it's mental, I'm just not sure.

Just as a side note, what the **** is it with women allowing me to pay all of a sudden? In my 20's that **** was unthinkable. Women never just let me pay. Now, every single date that I've gone on, I've offered to pay (almost always coffee only or one drink) and the most pushback I've gotten thus far was a delayed, half-hearted offer followed by a sincere thanks.

Geez, I'm glad there's a forum for older people to discuss these things. Thanks for the opportunity to rant on here for a bit and clear my head after a terribly wonderful, pleasant and engaging date with an extremely attractive physician who is definitely not going to be following up to let me know if she's free this weekend.

Sasha Daygame youtuber made a vid. It portrays how combative and not feminine women are. There's a lot of ****ery and you got to go through the fire.

A old paradigm was treating women nice, taking care of her, and showing oneself as a resourceful man. Not anymore. This is cuck in 2019. The vast majority of women have grown up without a father. Thank you single mother victimhood and welfare state. The biological response is young women hitting puberty sooner. Also, being sexually active and promiscuous given the disaster environment of a household.


Aaron clarey suggests enjoy the decline. Pillage what you can. I concur. Op, portray being fun not cuck provider beta. Even if you got money or **** together, you end up waiting for sex and a meal ticket. There's a ruthless element in dating. Walking on egg shells or being captain beta is a death sentence.

A heads up. 3 outings (note, Dating is for phaggots), smash or next her. Send obligatory post smash text even if no interest in future encounters. #metoo false accusations era. Act accordingly. Archive sexting, nudes, vid sex, etc.

Finally, the mark is top form SMV 18-23. The benchmark is as such. The prerequisite for any time is feminine, fit, young, attractive, and dtf. No SJWs, feminists, combative etc.

Moreover, new girls are turning 18 everyday. Come@me bro