Should I reach out ?

[Toni]

Could use an outside perspective.

On Sunday, the girl that I care about and have been seeing for a while now came out and said she doesn't know what we are, the whole talk. She left and then next morning when I woke up I texted her that I need some space to think about the whole situation. It's been a couple of days and I think I know my next step on what to do with her.

Only thing is, should I reach out and let her know that I'm ready to talk if she'd like? Or just go NC until she reaches out? She hasn't reached out since. Since im the one that asked for time should I reach out ?

 

[lamath]

Dont reach out.

 

[Chi Town]

Lol, no, don't reach out

 

[Mazer]

Don’t reach out and never tell a woman you need some space to think about it. Sounds feminine. A woman is looking for a man who knows what he wants right from the get-go.

 

[SoSuave666]

Why did you say you were unsure and needed space?

 

[marmel75]

You need some space? Are you a woman?

 

[lamath]

You need some space? Are you a woman?

Lmao

Women tell a man she need a break or **** like that, anwser i dont do break NEXT!!!!

 

[Tilex]

Damn, you're in deep water homie!
Believe it or not that was a sh!t test, and you failed badly.

Just move on and learn from the experience.
You'll get better next time.
7 out of 10 girls will ask this question, so this won't be the last time you'll hear this again.

 

[Toni]

Thanks for the advice.
However some advice sounds odd. I asked for space because I needed to think, why? Because I'm looking to build a strong genuine bond between two people. I also have to stay true and honest with myself. By not playing with people. I want to make sure I want to invest time, attention effectively.

Not reaching out makes the most sense.

 

[backseatjuan]

She wouldn't reach out to you though, she is going to wait until you reach out to her. You displayed some feminine traits, and lost your frame. Now anything further will be on her terms. She's the man in your relationship. She will f you and spin other plates and throw you out onto the curb when done.

 

[Chi Town]

I'm looking to build a strong genuine bond between two people.

That's not how attraction works, you want to build a bond? Go get a friend/enter the friendzone......

 

[Bayne05]

On Sunday, the girl that I care about and have been seeing for a while now came out and said she doesn't know what we are, the whole talk. She left and then next morning when I woke up I texted her that I need some space to think about the whole situation. It's been a couple of days and I think I know my next step on what to do with her.

First thing you need to do is change your mentality. It's feminine

 

[sazc]

Could use an outside perspective.

On Sunday, the girl that I care about and have been seeing for a while now came out and said she doesn't know what we are, the whole talk. She left and then next morning when I woke up I texted her that I need some space to think about the whole situation. It's been a couple of days and I think I know my next step on what to do with her.

Only thing is, should I reach out and let her know that I'm ready to talk if she'd like? Or just go NC until she reaches out? She hasn't reached out since. Since im the one that asked for time should I reach out ?

This is gonna be good

OP you told her you needed space to think about it. Why is she going to contact you? She thinks you are taking your (indefinite) space.

If you're ready to let her go, by all means, don't contact her.

 

[guru1000]

Here’s the way it works OP. No action you do can define your frame or value. A high value guy is high value regardless of what he does or doesn’t do; no action will strip that value away from him.

There is frame for appearances, then there is genuine (the sub context) frame. Genuine frame defines who you are.

You do whatever you desire. If she doesn’t play ball with that desire, you cut her loose.

 

[Spaz]

On Sunday, the girl that I care about and have been seeing for a while now came out and said she doesn't know what we are, the whole talk. She left and then next morning when I woke up I texted her that I need some space to think about the whole situation. It's been a couple of days and I think I know my next step on what to do with her.

I would normally take a step back, buy me some time 1st when confronted with a problem that requires some soul searching rather then blurt out something without thinking it through.

A man must strive to be profitable in every situation - buying yourself some time is a smart move.

A move by a woman to request marriage or exclusivity warrants some thinking.

Only thing is, should I reach out and let her know that I'm ready to talk if she'd like? Or just go NC until she reaches out? She hasn't reached out since. Since im the one that asked for time should I reach out ?

Initiate contact and inform her of ur decision.

There is no power lost here or even lost of frame.

You decide - you hold the power.

It's only when you're lost the power to decide that you're lost frame.

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP,

This thread is littered with really bad advice but I do mostly agree with @guru1000 and @Spaz.

If you need time to think over a relationship situation, then take some f*ucking time and tell her you need a break to think things over for a bit. A little male b*itch would a) stay in a bad relationship as to "not make waves", because they're needy, etc. or b) ghost her which is REALLY a feminine move.

Being proactive, assertive, taking the lead, and saying what you want are NOT feminine qualities. Playing stupid, "who calls/texts first" games are.

Men say what they want and TAKE what they want. So, once you reach your decision, CALL HER. Maybe she'll be receptive and maybe not. Things can change fast. All this crap about waiting for her to call you like some passive eunuch is BS. She did nothing wrong. Call her and state your case. If it's all good, great! If things don't go well, next batter up. But at least you'll know and can move on either way.

Good luck.