I got in touch with a girl I ghosted 5 years ago.

[UKinFR]

5 years ago, I decided to effectively “ghost” this girl I was completely head over heels for.

At the time I (18) thought it would be for the best. I thought it would help me move on.

We never dated, but we definitely had something going on.

So I sent her a text on Saturday hoping she was doing well and that I really wanted to see her.

I did so without expecting a reply, but I got one, and a really long one at that.


In summary, she told me that all the hurt and disappointment has come crawling back. That she was traumatised by it and it still affects her now. That she doesnt think meeting up will be the best.

She also said that she likes the idea of us trying something, but is scared about the result.

She’s still incredibly angry with me. This is totally understandable, but I just don’t get how she can feel this way after so long. The only reason I chose to avoid her was because I hated her, it’s because I was hurt and still have feelings for her.


I know this is probably it and I will have to move on, but I struggle to understand how she’s still upset with it after so long?

 

[lamath]

5 years ago, I decided to effectively “ghost” this girl I was completely head over heels for.

At the time I (18) thought it would be for the best. I thought it would help me move on.

We never dated, but we definitely had something going on.

So I sent her a text on Saturday hoping she was doing well and that I really wanted to see her.

I did so without expecting a reply, but I got one, and a really long one at that.


In summary, she told me that all the hurt and disappointment has come crawling back. That she was traumatised by it and it still affects her now. That she doesnt think meeting up will be the best.

She also said that she likes the idea of us trying something, but is scared about the result.

She’s still incredibly angry with me. This is totally understandable, but I just don’t get how she can feel this way after so long. The only reason I chose to avoid her was because I hated her, it’s because I was hurt and still have feelings for her.


I know this is probably it and I will have to move on, but I struggle to understand how she’s still upset with it after so long?

You never dated her ? and she was traumatised by you ghosting her this is BS imo
Ask her to join you for drink somewhere and if she says no or give you the run around dont contact her again.

It look to me that the msg you sent her stroke her ego a bit, thats not good.

 

[backseatjuan]

Bra, she's fvcking with you. If she is fvcking with you, which she is, 5 years later, she is a low quality woman. Asking her for drinks will result in run around and a flake. Remember, that b1tch is bitter and wants to get back at you by flaking on you, she's that much full of sh1t. So your best option is to not write to her anything for another six months, or perhaps 2 or 3 weeks.

 

[Mazer]

Sounds like you need more women in your life. You are contacting her due to lack of options, no? Forget this one. It also sounds like you will be entering her frame, which is never good.

 

[Music_czar]

OP how many more forums are you gonna troll with this story?

You’ve been wasting everyone’s time on the bb.com misc too

 

[marmel75]

Cause you are a moron. The end.

 

[GrowingPains]

Boi what is you sayin'.

Save the drama for your llama.

Next.

 

[wifehunter]

She's still angry? lolz!

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Sounds like you need more women in your life. You are contacting her due to lack of options, no? Forget this one. It also sounds like you will be entering her frame, which is never good.

Sounds like the only action he ever had was 5 years ago and he is now just hitting her back up. She been on his mind ever since.

If I were her I would order a FAT ass ribeye steak with Lobster and order a Sprite I will take 2 sips of. Take the Strawberry cheesecake to go and not text his ass back for 3 days ... then go ghost.

How the heck does anyone remember a flake from 5 years ago hahahaha! Get a hobby or get some help.

 

[backseatjuan]

FAT ass ribeye steak with Lobster and the Strawberry cheesecake to go

There is no ribs in ass, either you getting ass or ribs. If you go with ass that's where they shoot all the hormones, you'd grow tities probably. By the way you gave me a wonderful idea. OP how about you play it with her, pretend you're a loozer who is ready to order her some food as a sign of you being sorry for what you did, and of course don't send her any food, let her reach out ask you for it, just tell her you send it to wrong address, come up with something, and as a sign of you fvcking up offer her a nice fancy date, to which you will flake.

 

[R.U.G.]

OP, first off, whether a man wants to get back with a past flame is irrelevant. When you ghosted her or she ghosted you is, again, irrelevant. What is relevant is that she MUST enter and stay into your frame. This is not happening. You are entering her frame and she, possibly unconsciously, knows it. Why would you reach out to her? That's crazy. Now, if she reached out to you and said let's meet for drinks, then sure, entertain it; but on your terms. What would be the terms? She comes to your place to catch up, you don't go anywhere. That is the only way a man could reconsider a relationship with a woman. She comes to you, you do not go to her.

 

[UKinFR]

OP, first off, whether a man wants to get back with a past flame is irrelevant. When you ghosted her or she ghosted you is, again, irrelevant. What is relevant is that she MUST enter and stay into your frame. This is not happening. You are entering her frame and she, possibly unconsciously, knows it. Why would you reach out to her? That's crazy. Now, if she reached out to you and said let's meet for drinks, then sure, entertain it; but on your terms. What would be the terms? She comes to your place to catch up, you don't go anywhere. That is the only way a man could reconsider a relationship with a woman. She comes to you, you do not go to her.

I agree with what you’ve said, however that would be the case had she ghosted/rejected me. If the roles were reverse, and it was her who cut me out, I wouldn’t ever reach out, and I would only consider reconciliation if she had gotten in touch with me.

5 years ago, I’m the one who cut complete contact with her. I deleted her off everything.

I reached out because I regret what I did - huge regret for how I treated her and cut her out my life with no explanation.

I tried moving on, I tried forgetting about her and going out with other women, it hasn’t worked. I had to get in touch.

 

[UKinFR]

Sounds like the only action he ever had was 5 years ago and he is now just hitting her back up. She been on his mind ever since.

If I were her I would order a FAT ass ribeye steak with Lobster and order a Sprite I will take 2 sips of. Take the Strawberry cheesecake to go and not text his ass back for 3 days ... then go ghost.

How the heck does anyone remember a flake from 5 years ago hahahaha! Get a hobby or get some help.

You’re right she has been on my mind ever since.

I’ve been in 3 relationships during this period. I’ve had the occasional ONS. But I doubt you’re interested.

How do I remember her? Because she actually meant something to me, but I was too immature, too selfish, too cruel, and I made a stupid mistake.

 

[UKinFR]

OP how many more forums are you gonna troll with this story?

You’ve been wasting everyone’s time on the bb.com misc too

I’ve posted on two. What’s your point?

 

[R.U.G.]

I agree with what you’ve said, however that would be the case had she ghosted/rejected me. If the roles were reverse, and it was her who cut me out, I wouldn’t ever reach out, and I would only consider reconciliation if she had gotten in touch with me.

5 years ago, I’m the one who cut complete contact with her. I deleted her off everything.

I reached out because I regret what I did - huge regret for how I treated her and cut her out my life with no explanation.

I tried moving on, I tried forgetting about her and going out with other women, it hasn’t worked. I had to get in touch.

Doesn't matter. 5 years? Come on bro. The only way this would had been some what workable, but still a high failure rate, would be if she reached out to you. You reached out to her, so you entered her frame. Drop all contact unless you want to get hurt again. Find a new woman to play around with. You are just going to hurt yourself more bro.

 

[UKinFR]

You never dated her ? and she was traumatised by you ghosting her this is BS imo
Ask her to join you for drink somewhere and if she says no or give you the run around dont contact her again.

It look to me that the msg you sent her stroke her ego a bit, thats not good.

I mean we were never in a relationship. We did go on dates, but nothing more.

It’s quite complicated.

 

[UKinFR]

Doesn't matter. 5 years? Come on bro. The only way this would had been some what workable, but still a high failure rate, would be if she reached out to you. You reached out to her, so you entered her frame. Drop all contact unless you want to get hurt again. Find a new woman to play around with. You are just going to hurt yourself more bro.

Let’s just agree to disagree on this.

I’m not contacting her again. I only got in touch this once because I regret what I did. It was to open the door.

I dumped her, not the other way round.

 

[backseatjuan]

OP she is not emotionally attached to you. You on the other hand is emotionally attached to pretty much anything out there, it's your flaw. She is however, bitter about what you did, whatever the hell you did.

 

[R.U.G.]

Let’s just agree to disagree on this.

I’m not contacting her again. I only got in touch this once because I regret what I did. It was to open the door.

I dumped her, not the other way round.

Doesn't matter who dumped who. This isn't high school. It matters who reaches out to reconnect. This was you. You are now in her frame. Even if she contacts you later on, you are still in her frame. You may be able to switch things around by doing a hail marry in having her come to your place to catch up, but that's iffy if you've not seen each other for 5 years.

 

[R.U.G.]

OP she is not emotionally attached to you. You on the other hand is emotionally attached to pretty much anything out there, it's your flaw. She is however, bitter about what you did, whatever the hell you did.

Comrade @backseatjuan is correct. Tread very carefully. If she's French, IE your handle is UKinFR, then you're in for a wild ride. French woman are spiteful little biaches.