Changing the mindset

[GrowingPains]

"Nice Guys think, "Does she like me? How do I get her to like me?" Good guys think, "Should I like her? Should I go for her?""

I met a girl, HB9, last week. She didn't seem interested during the conversation. I still asked for her number, she hesitated and gave it to me.

Originally I was going to wait until next week to text but she obviously has low interest.

I'm trying to change my mindset to match the quote above. I feel like I should just consider this one a loss and next. You fellas agree? The mindset that I'm trying to abandon is to try and raise her interest m. But she hasn't done anything for me to be interested in her besides look good. It's probably not worth my time.

 

[marmel75]

OK...this is kinda common sense. So befoee you even attempt to do anything you are already nexting yourself? What sense does that make?

Tell her to meet you for a drink. If she doesn't respond or doesn't want to so what, delete the mumebr and keep it moving.

 

[backseatjuan]

So you text her now, it's Sunday, weekends, do you really expect her to be avilable, to drop everything and date a guy she has low interest in? Hell yea, you wait a week before messaging her, and not on weekends. Still, do you expect this hot girl to drop everything and date a guy that she has low interest in? She gave you her number that means she saw you at least as a six, now you have to raise her interest level in you, and you do that by waiting a week and then dropping a line and saying hello, my name is so and so, you gave me your number last week. I really like something about you, I think we would have a great fun together. Let's go grab couple of drinks come Friday, Sunday or whatever. Are you down?

 

[marmel75]

So you text her now, it's Sunday, weekends, do you really expect her to be avilable, to drop everything and date a guy she has low interest in? Hell yea, you wait a week before messaging her, and not on weekends. Still, do you expect this hot girl to drop everything and date a guy that she has low interest in? She gave you her number that means she saw you at least as a six, now you have to raise her interest level in you, and you do that by waiting a week and then dropping a line and saying hello, my name is so and so, you gave me your number last week. I really like something about you, I think we would have a great fun together. Let's go grab couple of drinks come Friday, Sunday or whatever. Are you down?

No you never worry about raising a woman's interest level. You find women whose interest level is already high. Attempting to raise a woman's interest level takes a lot of energy and effort and is mostly ineffective. Best case she will go out with you, maybe bang you but will always be looking to replace you.

Use that energy and effort towards finding woman with a high interest level.

 

[backseatjuan]

No you never worry about raising a woman's interest level. You find women whose interest level is already high.

I don't view the colors through eyeglasses you wear. If a girl even considers me dating that means I'm a 6 or 7 in her eyes, to fvck, I gotta raise her IL up to 8, to keep even further up. Neither do I pass women with high IL. It just, if I only keep looking for women with high IL I will pass a lot of other women. I don't do that. Raising IL does not amount to high effort.

 

[marmel75]

I don't view the colors through eyeglasses you wear. If a girl even considers me dating that means I'm a 6 or 7 in her eyes, to fvck, I gotta raise her IL up to 8, to keep even further up. Neither do I pass women with high IL. It just, if I only keep looking for women with high IL I will pass a lot of other women. I don't do that. Raising IL does not amount to high effort.

The problem is you consider a woman giving you their number "consideration". Many times women will just give you their number because its easy to get you to leave them alone that way.

It can be an indicator of interest but it doesnt necessarily mean it is.

 

[ohrein]

The problem is you consider a woman giving you their number "consideration". Many times women will just give you their number because its easy to get you to leave them alone that way.

This is literally what happens. It blew my mind when I started doing cold approaches. To men it's like, why give your number if you're not interested, that makes no sense. To women it's, if I do this he'll leave me alone with no drama or risk of aggression.

It's why you want to focus on the quality of the interaction and whether she reciprocates genuine interest, rather than focusing on getting a number.