Online dating experts, I need your help

[mrgoodstuff]

And, unfortunately, my experience with that dynamic is that I end up with an insecure dude who self sabotages

Possible. Find a guy used to it i guess. If your his first he might be nervous.

 

[17 shots]

I'm not really interested. I didn't think I would be, but figured I'd give him the chance and maybe we would find a spark.

Taco Tuesday pictures and hump day camels as openers (instead of just trying to kick of a convo) yawn.....

Oh, and he made sure to confirm that I was an affectionate and passionate person, because he is, and he's looking for someone who also it. Translation: hey, you, complete stranger, do you like to fuk and be physical? Cuz I like to fuk and be physical, and I think it's appropriate to ask that to a stranger, before I even have met her to see if there is chemistry ...

Any port in the storm will do, apparently....

I don't ask right off the bat like he did, but I do ask women if they are affectionate and like to kiss early on. We need to get that out the way fast, because we can have great chemistry all day long in person, but who cares if you're not going to reciprocate my affection down the road. And its not because I wanna have sex right away, but because there a lot of women, or people period I should say, who don't like kissing that much, and aren't very affectionate. Why waste time talking when you dont like to kiss like I do. I can't be with those type of women, and vice versa

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't ask right off the bat like he did, but I do ask women if they are affectionate and like to kiss early on. We need to get that out the way fast, because we can have great chemistry all day long in person, but who cares if you're not going to reciprocate my affection down the road. And its not because I wanna have sex right away, but because there a lot of women, or people period I should say, who don't like kissing that much, and aren't very affectionate. Why waste time talking when you dont like to kiss like I do. I can't be with those type of women, and vice versa

Im the same way. Going to fvck her mind fvck her body kiss her in her mouth.

Is your findings that non kissing stiff boundary types are DRY er in bed? Thats what i find. Passion is capped. Sex mechanical. Limited.

 

[MrJack]

I did match.com, found a bunch of cute latinas and messaged them all


None of these girls have even read my messages. Are they all bots or can they not reply because they're not subscribers? It's offering a 10 dollar monthly charge so they can reply for free, should I pay for that?


and then I did Okcupid and I can't find any cuties at all. I found like 3 6-7s after scouring and scouring. I live 30 miles from Chicago. How is there not tons of 7-10s on these sites?

Personally I use Bumble. Never had much success on anything else, although I haven’t really tried anything else besides tinder and PoF which are both trash in comparison IMO.

I also live in the Chicago area. Lots of hot women and lots of matches.

 

[bigdave17]

No, he's a 6/7. I'm old enough to know not to base my dating life on looks alone. I even give room for body, as long as they aren't too far gone, and are heathy which that they will hold at their weight.

I extended my last post to include the mention that I have him a chance to see if maybe they're wild be a spark or connection.

a 6 or 7 that you're not interested in

you likely have a million guys messaging you who are 9 to 10s, why bother with nonsense?

 

[17 shots]

Im the same way. Going to fvck her mind fvck her body kiss her in her mouth.

Is your findings that non kissing stiff boundary types are DRY er in bed? Thats what i find. Passion is capped. Sex mechanical. Limited.

I feel like those types will never 100% give all of themselves to you. It starts with kissing and affection but turns into other things. You're always unsatisfied with SOMETHING they aren't giving you, and they seem fearful in a way to ever give you that 100%

I want women who give themselves up to me. I ask chicks if they like anal too lol. Not because I want it, I just get turned on when a woman is willing to give her whole body up to me, nothing makes you feel more like a man

 

[sazc]

I don't ask right off the bat like he did, but I do ask women if they are affectionate and like to kiss early on. We need to get that out the way fast, because we can have great chemistry all day long in person, but who cares if you're not going to reciprocate my affection down the road. And its not because I wanna have sex right away, but because there a lot of women, or people period I should say, who don't like kissing that much, and aren't very affectionate. Why waste time talking when you dont like to kiss like I do. I can't be with those type of women, and vice versa

Interesting

I mentioned on here that I dated someone who didn't like to kiss and @LARaiders85 told me, it wasn't that he didn't like to kiss, it was that he didn't like to kiss ME

If that's the truth of this non kissing stuff then........

 

[sazc]

Did I say that? I don't recall. I know it's true with PDA

Lol you trolled me about it.
I mean, you have a point, and it's something to consider.

between the experience I had and what you said what I realized was that kissing was very important to me especially during sex, and if I ever dated a guy in the future who mentioned to me that he didn't like kissing especially during sex, I would exit stage left and let him know that we weren't compatible. No problem

 

[bigdave17]

Lol you trolled me about it.
I mean, you have a point, and it's something to consider.

between the experience I had and what you said what I realized was that kissing was very important to me especially during sex, and if I ever dated a guy in the future who mentioned to me that he didn't like kissing especially during sex, I would exit stage left and let him know that we weren't compatible. No problem

people exist who don't like kissing? lol wat

I like foreplay and performing oral on a woman as much or more than the sex. I don't start intercourse until she has a violent orgasm

 

[devilkingx2]

I'm not really interested. I didn't think I would be, but figured I'd give him the chance and maybe we would find a spark.

Taco Tuesday pictures and hump day camels as openers (instead of just trying to kick of a convo) yawn.....

Oh, and he made sure to confirm that I was an affectionate and passionate person, because he is, and he's looking for someone who also it. Translation: hey, you, complete stranger, do you like to fuk and be physical? Cuz I like to fuk and be physical, and I think it's appropriate to ask that to a stranger, before I even have met her to see if there is chemistry ...

Any port in the storm will do, apparently....

I actually think it sounds like you're the one failing his tests rather than the other way around

Now I'm not gonna claim to be a psychic/mind reader/expert on understanding other dudes but...

I wouldn't ask out a girl who isn't fun to talk to, why would anyone ask out a girl if things don't seem to be going well? You'd wait til the right moment and chit chat til then if you're socially calibrated.

Like in this post there's a whole bunch of minor red flags(for early stages of dating), so if he wisely picked up on any of this stuff or you let it slip, I can see why he'd be a lil wary and want to feel you out first.

And if he was intelligent enough to be as subtle as "an affectionate and passionate person" instead of something way more direct/obvious/blatant like any other guy, I'd wager he can pick up on some subtext (assuming he meant what you think he meant)

So you're gonna have to put on your smile and tell a joke if you want that free dinner

 

[HankHill]

people exist who don't like kissing? lol wat

I like foreplay and performing oral on a woman as much or more than the sex. I don't start intercourse until she has a violent orgasm

Bwahahahaha I'm ROTFL! Was this all happening in your dream or was the woman a blow up?

 

[HankHill]

Lol you trolled me about it.
I mean, you have a point, and it's something to consider.

between the experience I had and what you said what I realized was that kissing was very important to me especially during sex, and if I ever dated a guy in the future who mentioned to me that he didn't like kissing especially during sex, I would exit stage left and let him know that we weren't compatible. No problem

I think the problem today with dating is that we're all suffering from A.D.D, very few people want to put in the effort or take the time to learn about the other person because...well there's always another option just around the corner. From a guy's perspective it's really hard to do things right for every woman...some want to text, then talk on the phone, then meet for a coffee, no kiss on the first date etc etc.. Others want minimal chit chat, meet for drinks and kiss on the first date etc. I just do things the latter way, I've missed a few possible options because of it but that's OK. I just don't want to beat around the bush playing mental jujitsu with myself for weeks over her. So now it's like the train's moving, jump up on board or good luck. Also humor goes a long way but not over the top. I appreciate it when a woman shows interest (or jokes back etc). This was even more important to me when I had less of the IDGAF attitude because it encouraged me to be myself with her as opposed to being guarded.

I was just texting a woman who I asked out and we decided on this coming Fri. She said 'hey looks like we're in the same city so I really don't mind meeting some place local '. I responded with 'OK, so let's save Paris for our second date then Let's meet at xyz at 7p?'. Her response 'LOL. Perfect. Can't wait!'

 

[17 shots]

people exist who don't like kissing? lol wat

I like foreplay and performing oral on a woman as much or more than the sex. I don't start intercourse until she has a violent orgasm

Says the sex starved maniac

 

[17 shots]

Interesting

I mentioned on here that I dated someone who didn't like to kiss and @LARaiders85 told me, it wasn't that he didn't like to kiss, it was that he didn't like to kiss ME

If that's the truth of this non kissing stuff then........

It could be you, or he could just not be that into kissing. Both can be true, it's case by case. Only you would know, based on your experiences with that guy. If a guy is consistently seeing you, and doing things with you, then I'd lean more towards he's just not that into kissing. But if you're like a fwb, then it could definitely be he just doesn't like kissing YOU

 

[sazc]

I actually think it sounds like you're the one failing his tests rather than the other way around

Now I'm not gonna claim to be a psychic/mind reader/expert on understanding other dudes but...

I wouldn't ask out a girl who isn't fun to talk to, why would anyone ask out a girl if things don't seem to be going well? You'd wait til the right moment and chit chat til then if you're socially calibrated.

Like in this post there's a whole bunch of minor red flags(for early stages of dating), so if he wisely picked up on any of this stuff or you let it slip, I can see why he'd be a lil wary and want to feel you out first.

And if he was intelligent enough to be as subtle as "an affectionate and passionate person" instead of something way more direct/obvious/blatant like any other guy, I'd wager he can pick up on some subtext (assuming he meant what you think he meant)

So you're gonna have to put on your smile and tell a joke if you want that free dinner

neh, im not in need of a free dinner. lol, you guys have already conditioned me to always offer to split the check on the first date and, if he gets it, make sure I get it on the second.

who cares if he's sh1t testing or not, he's been ghosted

 

[sazc]

It could be you, or he could just not be that into kissing. Both can be true, it's case by case. Only you would know, based on your experiences with that guy. If a guy is consistently seeing you, and doing things with you, then I'd lean more towards he's just not that into kissing. But if you're like a fwb, then it could definitely be he just doesn't like kissing YOU

right, it could be any number of things. I realized that I want to be with a man who not only wants to kiss, but who wants to kiss passionately during sex because I will orgasm, or come close to it (and then take control and finish) if he kisses me passionately and deeply while we are making love.

it's a must have at this point

 

[bigdave17]

right, it could be any number of things. I realized that I want to be with a man who not only wants to kiss, but who wants to kiss passionately during sex because I will orgasm, or come close to it (and then take control and finish) if he kisses me passionately and deeply while we are making love.

it's a must have at this point

sex is not hot unless there is lots of kissing and the woman has a violent orgasm

god this girl is so ****ing cool. I absolutely love talking to her. I can't wait to see her. We get along like best friends on every subject matter

 

[bigdave17]

oh and I found out about the body situation

She has the standard Italian girl body - huge tits with huge ass. She's a little on the thick side now because she let herself gain a little bit weight. She is trying to change that - is controlling her calories. She said she would be open to working out with me. Translation here - 5 or 6 months of working out with me and she will look like a pornstar. She said her face is better looking than pics in real life

she will look like a 9/10 after 5 or 6 months.

and she is unbelievably cool. Every subject matter, we get along like best friends

 

[mrgoodstuff]

oh and I found out about the body situation

She has the standard Italian girl body - huge tits with huge ass. She's a little on the thick side now because she let herself gain a little bit weight. She is trying to change that - is controlling her calories. She said she would be open to working out with me. Translation here - 5 or 6 months of working out with me and she will look like a pornstar. She said her face is better looking than pics in real life

she will look like a 9/10 after 5 or 6 months.

and she is unbelievably cool. Every subject matter, we get along like best friends

Narcissist are great at making connections. They make people feel great at first.

 

[HankHill]

oh and I found out about the body situation

Of course you did! That poor girl doesn't know the mistake she's about to make.
I hope her family's part of the mob cuz I sure wanna go Tony Sopranos on Dave sometimes.