"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Where to meet women, constant rejection is ****ing with my head

sangheilios

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Where am I supposed to go to actually meet women? I'm never in any situations where I am around women except for things like the gym and day to day stuff (grocery store, etc.). I've done some cold approaches, mostly at the gym, but it never works at all. I've off and on tried online dating but the women on there are just so unattractive to me I could never see myself ever being with someone like that. I used to go out on my own to approach women but it was so hard to pull anything from that it got to the point where I got burnt out from it. I had a friend promise me he'd go out with me on the weekends as my wingman but he has never followed through with that, every weekend there is always a new excuse as to why he can't go out, so I'm left totally on my own.

Seriously, I'm 6'4", in shape and an attractive white guy......I shouldn't be having this problem and it's really starting to **** with my head. I've only been on one date this whole year, which resulted in nothing. Is it supposed to be this difficult?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

mrgoodstuff

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Where am I supposed to go to actually meet women? I'm never in any situations where I am around women except for things like the gym and day to day stuff (grocery store, etc.). I've done some cold approaches, mostly at the gym, but it never works at all. I've off and on tried online dating but the women on there are just so unattractive to me I could never see myself ever being with someone like that. I used to go out on my own to approach women but it was so hard to pull anything from that it got to the point where I got burnt out from it. I had a friend promise me he'd go out with me on the weekends as my wingman but he has never followed through with that, every weekend there is always a new excuse as to why he can't go out, so I'm left totally on my own.

Seriously, I'm 6'4", in shape and an attractive white guy......I shouldn't be having this problem and it's really starting to **** with my head. I've only been on one date this whole year, which resulted in nothing. Is it supposed to be this difficult?
Your being a bigdave17. Victim speak. The guys will give you ideas where you can actively get situations.

What about some of the hook up websites. Im sure there a desire for well built men.

On the real life its social and other situations.
 

sangheilios

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Your being a bigdave17. Victim speak. The guys will give you ideas where you can actively get situations.

What about some of the hook up websites. Im sure there a desire for well built men.

On the real life its social and other situations.
Hookup websites? Aren't most of those just scam sites with tons of bots?

As for real life, as I mentioned I'm never in any situations to meet women in a normal manner. I just can't think of any solutions to this and it is so frustrating.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Hookup websites? Aren't most of those just scam sites with tons of bots?

As for real life, as I mentioned I'm never in any situations to meet women in a normal manner. I just can't think of any solutions to this and it is so frustrating.
Yoga class in the gym has time before and after to socialize. Dont approach unless she displayed favor. It may take a few classes to become familiar.

There are women everywhere.

A community college or university course on an area you could use additional expertise put you in contact.

Doing things with other successful players.
 

Dash Riprock

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He's not @bigdave17...yet.

Try MeetUp.com for social and business networking. Tons of women attend those, especially wine and young professionals. Take classes at your gym, yoga, kickboxing, whatever. OLD can work but you have to send a ton of messages to get a few responses. Finally, if you have some $, you may want to try a pro matchmaking service like It's Just Lunch. I tried it and it was worth it.

Good luck.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

sangheilios

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Yoga class in the gym has time before and after to socialize. Dont approach unless she displayed favor. It may take a few classes to become familiar.

There are women everywhere.

A community college or university course on an area you could use additional expertise put you in contact.

Doing things with other successful players.
Well, none of my friends have ever followed through with helping me as wingmen despite the fact that they had promised.

The reality is that I am totally on my own with this, always have been my entire life, and it is very difficult. Also, the one trend I had/have is that no one is single. There are so many attractive women I see at my gym who I'm sure would be open to me but they all have bfs, no surprise there obviously. Women are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken.
 

Dash Riprock

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There are so many attractive women I see at my gym who I'm sure would be open to me but they all have bfs, no surprise there obviously.
MANY of these guys are placeholders until something better comes along. Don't be afraid to chat up a girl with a bf. Plenty of humorous comeback lines if she says she has a bf.

All is fair in love and war.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Well, none of my friends have ever followed through with helping me as wingmen despite the fact that they had promised.

The reality is that I am totally on my own with this, always have been my entire life, and it is very difficult. Also, the one trend I had/have is that no one is single. There are so many attractive women I see at my gym who I'm sure would be open to me but they all have bfs, no surprise there obviously. Women are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken.
100x easier with at least one friend. Id say the others arent friends.

My strip club waitress idea is very good. They get 1/10th of the attention and are alot more stable. Theyll be flattered by you showing interesr.
 

sangheilios

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He's not @bigdave17...yet.

Try MeetUp.com for social and business networking. Tons of women attend those, especially wine and young professionals. Take classes at your gym, yoga, kickboxing, whatever. OLD can work but you have to send a ton of messages to get a few responses. Finally, if you have some $, you may want to try a pro matchmaking service like It's Just Lunch. I tried it and it was worth it.

Good luck.
I tried tinder last month and I only saw a handful of attractive women, most of those I saw on there ranged from grossly overweight to meh at best, also a lot of single mothers. I got a couple of matches with women that were ok and it didn't lead to anything, not that I really cared because I wasn't all that into them.

I've honestly considered a pro matchmaking service and/or travelling. I'm considering moving to a new area next summer so perhaps that might help, but I don't know.

I just get really frustrated by this because I'm actually a good guy and feel I shouldn't have this problem.
 

sangheilios

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MANY of these guys are placeholders until something better comes along. Don't be afraid to chat up a girl with a bf. Plenty of humorous comeback lines if she says she has a bf.

All is fair in love and war.
I've met women at the gym who had bfs and it always turned into an odd mess of being strung along and a bit of drama.

Last summer I met a big booty Dominican girl at my gym, decent face but 10/10 body. Anyway, she really liked me but then admitted to having a bf, so I just told her I'd be interested if she were single. Anyway, a week later afterwards she started approaching me more and opening up, then 2 months later she ends up asking me out but then says that she had to mention she was still seeing her bf.

That's a good point though, feels like the only way to get a girl is to take one from another guy.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrgoodstuff

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I've met women at the gym who had bfs and it always turned into an odd mess of being strung along and a bit of drama.

Last summer I met a big booty Dominican girl at my gym, decent face but 10/10 body. Anyway, she really liked me but then admitted to having a bf, so I just told her I'd be interested if she were single. Anyway, a week later afterwards she started approaching me more and opening up, then 2 months later she ends up asking me out but then says that she had to mention she was still seeing her bf.

That's a good point though, feels like the only way to get a girl is to take one from another guy.
Many of the guys are just playing them anyway.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I tried tinder last month and I only saw a handful of attractive women, most of those I saw on there ranged from grossly overweight to meh at best, also a lot of single mothers. I got a couple of matches with women that were ok and it didn't lead to anything, not that I really cared because I wasn't all that into them.

I've honestly considered a pro matchmaking service and/or travelling. I'm considering moving to a new area next summer so perhaps that might help, but I don't know.

I just get really frustrated by this because I'm actually a good guy and feel I shouldn't have this problem.
Stop crying and stop hurting. Try speed dating. I gave other suggestions. In the meantime fill your schedule with fun and productive hobbies and activities.
 

sangheilios

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Many of the guys are just playing them anyway.
Honestly, based on what I have seen with other guys with gfs I agree with you. The main question though is whether or not a man should still wittingly bring potential drama like that into his life? I don't think there is any right or wrong answer, as this will vary from individual to individual.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Honestly, based on what I have seen with other guys with gfs I agree with you. The main question though is whether or not a man should still wittingly bring potential drama like that into his life? I don't think there is any right or wrong answer, as this will vary from individual to individual.
Its all up to you.
 

Dash Riprock

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I tried tinder last month and I only saw a handful of attractive women, most of those I saw on there ranged from grossly overweight to meh at best, also a lot of single mothers. I got a couple of matches with women that were ok and it didn't lead to anything, not that I really cared because I wasn't all that into them.

I've honestly considered a pro matchmaking service and/or travelling. I'm considering moving to a new area next summer so perhaps that might help, but I don't know.

I just get really frustrated by this because I'm actually a good guy and feel I shouldn't have this problem.
Tinder is a horrible dating site for many reasons. If you're serious about OLD I would use, Match, POF, or eHarmony which is very relationship oriented. Yes, a matchmaking service is a viable option if you're looking for a LTR or marriage-minded women. Far more women sign up with MM's than men.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

sangheilios

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Tinder is a horrible dating site for many reasons. If you're serious about OLD I would use, Match, POF, or eHarmony which is very relationship oriented. Yes, a matchmaking service is a viable option if you're looking for a LTR or marriage-minded women. Far more women sign up with MM's than men.
I've checked out different dating sites and in my area there was nothing even remotely average on there, I'm being completely serious when I say this. I know that what I'm looking for I'm probably not going to find on an online dating site or app.

- Attractive
- No kids
- Actually single
- Exercises regularly, fit and enjoys being active (go hiking together, etc.)
- no drugs or smoking
- no drinking beyond a social level or not at all
- overall normal girl with her own friends and hobbies, etc.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I've checked out different dating sites and in my area there was nothing even remotely average on there, I'm being completely serious when I say this. I know that what I'm looking for I'm probably not going to find on an online dating site or app.

- Attractive
- No kids
- Actually single
- Exercises regularly, fit and enjoys being active (go hiking together, etc.)
- no drugs or smoking
- no drinking beyond a social level or not at all
- overall normal girl with her own friends and hobbies, etc.
Scratch the no kids. For the 3-6 months that your just dating it doesnt come in the picture.
 

AttackFormation

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- Try out some activities that you'd like doing anyway, and filter for those that have plenty of females, date them and their friends
- Relocate to a university town with a lot of female-oriented courses
- Go abroad to somewhere being white spikes your smv compared to the locals
- Change job to one with more females, befriend them and date their friends
- Go on OLD in a different location with more fit chicks

You can do those kinds of things, or you can complain that the world isn't giving you what you want. No one is sitting on any magic location where single women congregate or some solution you don't know of.
 

corrector

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Where am I supposed to go to actually meet women? I'm never in any situations where I am around women except for things like the gym and day to day stuff (grocery store, etc.). I've done some cold approaches, mostly at the gym, but it never works at all. I've off and on tried online dating but the women on there are just so unattractive to me I could never see myself ever being with someone like that. I used to go out on my own to approach women but it was so hard to pull anything from that it got to the point where I got burnt out from it. I had a friend promise me he'd go out with me on the weekends as my wingman but he has never followed through with that, every weekend there is always a new excuse as to why he can't go out, so I'm left totally on my own.

Seriously, I'm 6'4", in shape and an attractive white guy......I shouldn't be having this problem and it's really starting to **** with my head. I've only been on one date this whole year, which resulted in nothing. Is it supposed to be this difficult?
I don't get what you are complaining about or the title of the thread since you are not really being rejected. Everything you complain about is either women not meeting your standards on OLD or that they are taken by other guys if they are good. This is not rejection. You have to feel invisible or like the women you want to approach and chat up are actually ignoring you or are rude with you, refuse to give their contact or ghost on you if you follow-up, to count as rejection. What you are talking about means they are not available to you on your terms or you can't find the right one. That's nothing to feel bad about and you just have to be more open minded to other venues, locations, or dating sites to meeting women.
 

Bible_Belt

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Charitable organizations that deal with some sort of animal welfare are almost always nearly exclusively female.

I was a political science major for undergrad. It was all nerdy guys for the most part. Our classroom building was next to the college of social work. It was like there was a sign on the door that said "hot young girls only. No dudes!" I seriously never saw a man go in there. I was always kicking myself for not majoring in social work.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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