"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Anxiety might be ruining the relationship?

Sgthaytham

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We’ve been together since June.

Only one argument to note, which we resolved swiftly and quickly.

I can say we’ve been going well, and I think she might too.



Anyway, the reason for this post is I suffer from mild anxiety, which gets worse when I start feeling vulnerable - in this case, it’s because I’m starting to fall for her.

I keep overthinking and overanalysing things: especially after we spent Wednesday at her’s.

I stayed the night and when I got home the next morning I sent her message

“Just got home, had a nice time. See you soon x”

She read the message but didn’t answer.



We did speak later on in the day but I felt something was off.

Maybe it’s just my anxiety, or maybe it’s something I’ve done...

In previous relationships I used to send texts to find out what’s going on, but I haven’t once in my relationship. I just wait till she gets in touch.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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jaymbrs

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Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately anything we tell you won't change the fact that you have anxiety and that it could affect your personal life. My only suggestion would be see a doc about getting some meds.
 

The Duke

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Sgthaytham- I recommend getting your life in order and addressing your issues. Individuals like yourself are very difficult to have healthy relationships with.
 

btownbuck2012

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OP, only time will tell if your concerns about this particular woman's change of behavior are warranted.
 

resilient

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OP, I would suggest finding some books, therapist, and/or a support group for anxiety. There are ways to cope and manage it without medication if it’s not severe. Sometimes a few simple things are needed.

Challenge your thoughts.

Challenge your fears.

Be mindful.

Meditate and/or do some deep breathing.

Drain your worries with exercise (cardio is best here). Give yourself the self-love you need. Women pull back all the time if they sense their man becoming too attached. You have to cultivate the trust in yourself that you’ll be ok whether she is in your life or not.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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sosousage

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We’ve been together since June.

Only one argument to note, which we resolved swiftly and quickly.

I can say we’ve been going well, and I think she might too.



Anyway, the reason for this post is I suffer from mild anxiety, which gets worse when I start feeling vulnerable - in this case, it’s because I’m starting to fall for her.

I keep overthinking and overanalysing things: especially after we spent Wednesday at her’s.

I stayed the night and when I got home the next morning I sent her message

“Just got home, had a nice time. See you soon x”

She read the message but didn’t answer.



We did speak later on in the day but I felt something was off.

Maybe it’s just my anxiety, or maybe it’s something I’ve done...

In previous relationships I used to send texts to find out what’s going on, but I haven’t once in my relationship. I just wait till she gets in touch.
shes too sure of you
 

resilient

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I just saw this is in a friends Instagram story too good to past this up. Read this quote several times, it’s powerful.

‘’Everything changes when you begin to love yourself. You no longer send out energy of desperation or need to be filled from the outside. You become a powerful source within yourself that attracts better. The more you love who you are, the less you seek validation and approval.”
 

sazc

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Expectations are pre meditated resentments

With any electronic conversation, someone had to stop replying at some point, otherwise it would never end.

You don't know what she is thinking, you only know what your fear dictates to your head. Tell yourself to stop trying to second guess her. Tell yourself everything is fine. Take it one day at a time.
 

soulforge

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Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately anything we tell you won't change the fact that you have anxiety and that it could affect your personal life. My only suggestion would be see a doc about getting some meds.
Nope don't get on any meds.. Usually meds lead to making your condition much worse.

What is your diet and exercise regime like? I would seriously consider working out.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Nope don't get on any meds.. Usually meds lead to making your condition much worse.

What is your diet and exercise regime like? I would seriously consider working out.
Drinking makes anxiety way worse too.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Sgthaytham

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An update for you guys:

So I ended up sending her a message (probably not the right thing to do)

I asked her if anything was up, and she replied “I don’t know...”

I just told her “You can talk to me about it, but only if you want to”

No reply.

I’m just going to leave it at that... I have idea what’s going on, what I’ve done or said that might have caused her to be like this...
 

Billtx49

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I asked her if anything was up, and she replied “I don’t know...”

I just told her “You can talk to me about it, but only if you want to”

No reply.
Taking this convo logically, if she doesn’t know and can’t give any replied reason, truthful or not. The problem isn’t her.
 

Sgthaytham

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Taking this convo logically, if she doesn’t know and can’t give any replied reason. The problem isn’t her.
So you’re saying the problem is me?

I’m not sure what you mean...
 

Billtx49

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So you’re saying the problem is me?

I’m not sure what you mean...
A woman with high enough remaining interest might be truthful or tell a lie, but she would respond. Sounds like yours is in the process of shutting down.
 

Sgthaytham

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A woman with high enough remaining interest might be truthful or tell a lie, but she would respond. Sounds like yours is in the process of shutting down.
Yeah, I suppose she is...

It’s just how quickly it all happened. I thought everything was OK Thursday, she kissed me goodbye and all... I didn’t feel anything was off.

Oh well...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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mrgoodstuff

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People have good and bad days. Many of us here are guilty of overanalyzing them. This means youe not in the moment living. Your watching it like a movie.
 

Sgthaytham

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People have good and bad days. Many of us here are guilty of overanalyzing them. This means youe not in the moment living. Your watching it like a movie.

I’m just going to carry on... if she gets in touch it would be nice for her to tell me what’s going on, whether she’s breaking up with me or it’s something else.

I really hate being in this limbo
 

mrgoodstuff

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I’m just going to carry on... if she gets in touch it would be nice for her to tell me what’s going on, whether she’s breaking up with me or it’s something else.

I really hate being in this limbo
Go do something for your self. Have fun. Fvck her she will be back if she will. Go have sex with someone else. Dont worry about or prioritize somebody tbat doesnt worry about or prioritize you.
 
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