Messaged for a bit then got her number. No reply

[R.U.G.]

Just send a quick text, "Hey, how's your vacation?" and leave it like that. Don't be surprised if you do not get a response very fast. It's female nature to make the man wait to see how he acts and to see if he's impatient. Consider it a mini-sh!t test. Chances are, she'll not even know she's doing it. Again, female nature.

Just a thought.

 

[marmel75]

if she said all of that to you she's definitely interested but im willing to bet she's waiting for you to be a man and lead

question....why havent you texted her since weds? because you donot want to appear weak? over interested? more invested?

Not texting is going to appear not interested. So, if you arent interested, dont text.
I'll never understand why sending a text saying hello and asking how she is, is SUCH a dramatic big deal? Just text her. The worst thing that can happen is she ghosts you and, even if that happens, so what?

OP, Just from what is being said and your reactions i can tell something with your calibration with these women is off. If I had to guess its that you come as being too rigid personality wise and its coming off different than what you think it is.

Something doesn't seem to be right with the number of interactions that seem to be going well and then drop off the face of the earth. Yeah those happen but that should not be a continual stream...Im not sure how much i can help because im not there observing what is going on. This is going to be something you are going to probably figure out on your own.

I was in a similar place at one point...the good thing was a few small changes to what i was doing made a much bigger difference than what i expected it would.

 

[Spaz]

Interesting dilemma. We met up last Saturday and then again on Tuesday. She wanted to come over and bring me some desert she made on Wednesday, but I came home too late for her to stop by our something. I said not a problem. We'll do something a bit later in the week. She then said she's going away to Florida til next Tuesday with family on some holiday. I said maybe we'll do something when you come back. Then we chatted a bit more and then I exited the convo saying good night and she said the same. She's been silent ever since. Do I reach out or stay silent? We did touch on the lack of intense kissing, then she replied, I just don't want to rush into things to haphazardly. Rick, you have no idea how bad I want to rip your clothes off. It's taking a lot of willpower. I have a very high sex drive and you'll most not be able to keep up. I said, umm, okay, good to know.

Did I screw this up some how? Not sure if it matters, but our hands were touching each other's bodies and exploring a bit on both days. Just surprised I've not heard from her since Wednesday. Since our first meet, she's reached out each day.

If she had the hots for you, she'll be shedding ur cloths and love bombing you with texts.

Single mom with teenage kids.

Any Tom, D1ck and Harry with average unkempt looks could land that.

 

[sazc]

IMO especially if it's sometime not in your social circle, persue till it's played out. Obvs don't go overboard, don't over invest, but stick ur toe in the water at those odd times to see if you get any ripples back.

The truth about OLD (from my perspective) is a LOT of men simply let it drop, even if you had a good time. Persue it a little. Check and see if she's just waiting for you to make a move, or not interested. What do you have to lose?

 

[RickTheToad]

Just send a quick text, "Hey, how's your vacation?" and leave it like that. Don't be surprised if you do not get a response very fast. It's female nature to make the man wait to see how he acts and to see if he's impatient. Consider it a mini-sh!t test. Chances are, she'll not even know she's doing it. Again, female nature.

Just a thought.

Will do.

OP, Just from what is being said and your reactions i can tell something with your calibration with these women is off. If I had to guess its that you come as being too rigid personality wise and its coming off different than what you think it is.

Something doesn't seem to be right with the number of interactions that seem to be going well and then drop off the face of the earth. Yeah those happen but that should not be a continual stream...Im not sure how much i can help because im not there observing what is going on. This is going to be something you are going to probably figure out on your own.

I was in a similar place at one point...the good thing was a few small changes to what i was doing made a much bigger difference than what i expected it would.

Most definitely a possibility. Certainly working on getting the kinks out. I'm far from perfect.

If she had the hots for you, she'll be shedding ur cloths and love bombing you with texts.

Single mom with teenage kids.

Any Tom, D1ck and Harry with average unkempt looks could land that.

Maybe, maybe not, but we'll see. There are others I am entertaining which are single w/ no kids. I accept all comers and see where things settle. I called into Tom Leykis the other day on 101 / WOP. He also agreed there was nothing wrong with dating single mothers in this age range. Again, we'll see. I never put all my eggs in the preverbal basket.

 

[RickTheToad]

IMO especially if it's sometime not in your social circle, persue till it's played out. Obvs don't go overboard, don't over invest, but stick ur toe in the water at those odd times to see if you get any ripples back.

The truth about OLD (from my perspective) is a LOT of men simply let it drop, even if you had a good time. Persue it a little. Check and see if she's just waiting for you to make a move, or not interested. What do you have to lose?

Agreed. I did reach out and said what the R.U.G. dude said and she replied back. We've been going back and forth since until I had to go. Not a big juggler, so I am still new to this.

 

[Spaz]

Will do.



Most definitely a possibility. Certainly working on getting the kinks out. I'm far from perfect.



Maybe, maybe not, but we'll see. There are others I am entertaining which are single w/ no kids. I accept all comers and see where things settle. I called into Tom Leykis the other day on 101 / WOP. He also agreed there was nothing wrong with dating single mothers in this age range. Again, we'll see. I never put all my eggs in the preverbal basket.

If I was in this situation where I have other plates, this would never have been an issue in the 1st place.

I'd ditch her. And women would know it beforehand by instinct. They always do. Which is why I say they'll lob love bomb texts and shed ur cloths to get you addicted to them, provided they know u r a man who has options and ready to ditch.

 

[RickTheToad]

If I was in this situation where I have other plates, this would never have been an issue in the 1st place.

I'd ditch her. And women would know it beforehand by instinct. They always do. Which is why I say they'll lob love bomb texts and shed ur cloths to get you addicted to them, provided they know u r a man who has options and ready to ditch.

Appreciate the enlightenment. Though, I'd rather keep all my options on the table.

 

[RickTheToad]

As weird as it sounds, I did reach out on Saturday, we texted for a bit and now silence. Which is different from before. Not sure if it's because of the holiday (she's Jewish) or she's on vacation. I assume I'll not be hearing from her again.

I've started chatting with some of the others. Two dates at the end of the week so far. Dating used to be fun. Seems more frustrating nowadays.

 

[R.U.G.]

As weird as it sounds, I did reach out on Saturday, we texted for a bit and now silence. Which is different from before. Not sure if it's because of the holiday (she's Jewish) or she's on vacation. I assume I'll not be hearing from her again.

I've started chatting with some of the others. Two dates at the end of the week so far. Dating used to be fun. Seems more frustrating nowadays.

I wouldn't run after her. You said you called over the weekend, her turn. If she doesn't reach out, move on. Not worth running after a woman; especially if she has kids in tow. Focus on the others.

 

[Glassguy]

As weird as it sounds, I did reach out on Saturday, we texted for a bit and now silence. Which is different from before. Not sure if it's because of the holiday (she's Jewish) or she's on vacation. I assume I'll not be hearing from her again.

I've started chatting with some of the others. Two dates at the end of the week so far. Dating used to be fun. Seems more frustrating nowadays.

After reading some of the more recent posts, I have to tell you something Rick.

Texting isnt a bad thing. It can be a great thing. Just like with face to face interaction with women, it is more of the vibe that you are giving off rather than the texting.

For example: I can text a chick 10 times and still have the outcome indifferent vibe. I am not texting things that come across as needy or giving the vibe that I am trying to lock her down. Its just good conversation, but I still watch overdoing it.

On the other hand, I could send only one text that comes across as butthurt, needy, clingy, etc. and blow the entire thing up. That is really the difference.

I am naturally a busy guy. I dont have to "fake" being busy. Sometimes I text a chick after 4 hours because thats when I get a chance to finally stop and put some thought into the text or response to her text. Sometimes it might only be 5 minutes until I respond. It just all depends on what I am doing. That's because my frame is solid and I have priorities in life and things to get done on a daily basis. Its doing not only what I want but also what I need to get done on a daily basis.

You seem very timid as if you are worried about screwing things up. Trust me, that vibe will come across in text, especially after you have actually met up with her before. Women (most anyways) have a radar for this. They can tell when a guy is needy and desperate. Even if you arent, that vibe will come across since you are worried about screwing things up with one text. If you have to get advice on when/how to respond to a text or when to reach out, you are already putting way to much emphasis on one particular chick. Its definitely not "outcome indifferent".

With your situation specifically, I would just throw her out a text of "Hiya......had a good time with you the last time we hung out. I understand that you're busy as I am too, but let me know when you are free to get together again".

Leave it at that. There certainly is a difference in being a man and leading a woman compared to being the one that initiates every conversation. I am a believer that you must lead and go after/obtain what you want but you also have to put the woman in a position where she is investing too......and eventually more than you are.

One thing that stood out is when you said you have started talking to other potential chicks due to this chick acting sketchy. My question is this- what did you wait to do that? By talking to 3-4 all along you will naturally give off the outcome indifferent vibe that makes chicks go crazy....and then THEY chase.

I have a really cute realtor that comes over every Sunday afternoon. Its just a FWB situation. I know that I am getting laid once a week regardless of how my interactions go with the others that I am talking to/seeing. It makes me very outcome indifferent with them. After a day or two of not hearing from me, every one of them reaches out and my response is always the same- "Hey you....I have been swamped. When are you free to get together?".

Spin those plates brother. Dont pump the brakes on 4 of them because one starts acting sketchy.

 

[RickTheToad]

I wouldn't run after her. You said you called over the weekend, her turn. If she doesn't reach out, move on. Not worth running after a woman; especially if she has kids in tow. Focus on the others.

Will do.

After reading some of the more recent posts, I have to tell you something Rick.

Texting isnt a bad thing. It can be a great thing. Just like with face to face interaction with women, it is more of the vibe that you are giving off rather than the texting.

For example: I can text a chick 10 times and still have the outcome indifferent vibe. I am not texting things that come across as needy or giving the vibe that I am trying to lock her down. Its just good conversation, but I still watch overdoing it.

On the other hand, I could send only one text that comes across as butthurt, needy, clingy, etc. and blow the entire thing up. That is really the difference.

I am naturally a busy guy. I dont have to "fake" being busy. Sometimes I text a chick after 4 hours because thats when I get a chance to finally stop and put some thought into the text or response to her text. Sometimes it might only be 5 minutes until I respond. It just all depends on what I am doing. That's because my frame is solid and I have priorities in life and things to get done on a daily basis. Its doing not only what I want but also what I need to get done on a daily basis.

You seem very timid as if you are worried about screwing things up. Trust me, that vibe will come across in text, especially after you have actually met up with her before. Women (most anyways) have a radar for this. They can tell when a guy is needy and desperate. Even if you arent, that vibe will come across since you are worried about screwing things up with one text. If you have to get advice on when/how to respond to a text or when to reach out, you are already putting way to much emphasis on one particular chick. Its definitely not "outcome indifferent".

With your situation specifically, I would just throw her out a text of "Hiya......had a good time with you the last time we hung out. I understand that you're busy as I am too, but let me know when you are free to get together again".

Leave it at that. There certainly is a difference in being a man and leading a woman compared to being the one that initiates every conversation. I am a believer that you must lead and go after/obtain what you want but you also have to put the woman in a position where she is investing too......and eventually more than you are.

One thing that stood out is when you said you have started talking to other potential chicks due to this chick acting sketchy. My question is this- what did you wait to do that? By talking to 3-4 all along you will naturally give off the outcome indifferent vibe that makes chicks go crazy....and then THEY chase.

I have a really cute realtor that comes over every Sunday afternoon. Its just a FWB situation. I know that I am getting laid once a week regardless of how my interactions go with the others that I am talking to/seeing. It makes me very outcome indifferent with them. After a day or two of not hearing from me, every one of them reaches out and my response is always the same- "Hey you....I have been swamped. When are you free to get together?".

Spin those plates brother. Dont pump the brakes on 4 of them because one starts acting sketchy.

I usually deal with two or three at a time. If they do not pan out, I move on to the next. I do not wait around buying time when responding to texts. I respond when I am able to. I only post her on my results when something doesn't go the way I though it would or should to get the feedback from the community. I just only have so much time I can dedicate to the ladies. I was dealing with another one, but she turned out a bit bi-polar, which I posted in another thread. She started acting really weird and a bit crazy, so I canceled the date with her, moved on and started to reach out to others. I am far from perfect, but I do not believe I come by as needy or desperate.

 

[MatureDJ]

No Reply

 

[RickTheToad]

No Reply

A bit dramatic of a song. No? I get what you are trying to say. I guess I was looking at this one more because of convenience of location. All the other ones are 25+ minute drives. Two, which maybe are the most attractive and contacting me often are in the City of New York (really long drive and expensive). I know this dating thing would certainly be easier if I lived in NYC. Not something I'd really like to do. Most people want to move out of NYC due to the traffic, construction, congestion, sky high costs of living. At least I know it's not my looks. See, a silver lining.

 

[MatureDJ]

At least I know it's not my looks.

But most incels think that it is because of looks.

 

[RickTheToad]

But most incels think that it is because of looks.

I was trying to be funny with that statement. I am not an incel.