I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more

[The Diver]

I started a chat with a woman on one of the app' and told her I liked her profile.
After we went back and forth with a few massages, I said:
Me: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more sometime soon and take it from there.
Me: Well, nothing beat face to face chat if you're REALLY want to know someone. Let me know if you'll change your mind, bye for now.

She didn't reply.

Now, the way I see the "I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more and take it from there" is pretty simple, it's like she said:
"I'm not saying No, but convince me why you worth my time, why I should say YES. The decision of meeting up or not is actually now in her hand.

Trying to "convince" a woman to go out with me, by "proving" myself worthy to her, is not a place I would ever put myself into.

I usually take anything other than Yes, as a No! and move on.

I'm interested in your opinion, as this scenario came up from time to time, and I want to know once and for all if my usual answer to this is correct, or could I handle it differently to get the result I want ( a date).
Would you react differently to my last response? would you do something deferent? or, do you think my instincts and response are correct?

Cheers

 

[ohrein]

The result you want shouldn't be a date. It should be a date with a woman who has a good chance of being worth your time.

As for the example, after a few get to know you questions and banter, they should have no problems meeting up. As you said, anything other than a yes is a no. I think you handled it perfectly.

 

[LaughyDuck]

The result you want shouldn't be a date. It should be a date with a woman who has a good chance of being worth your time.

As for the example, after a few get to know you questions and banter, they should have no problems meeting up. As you said, anything other than a yes is a no. I think you handled it perfectly.

Those girls you met on the net who "want to chat a bit more" are just looking for validation and how long you will chase her for a date. If a girl doesn't say yes to my inviation usually after few messages I say good bye.

 

[logicallefty]

I used to fall for this one all the time but not anymore. Op I think you handled it perfectly. I don’t mind chatting off and on for a few days but that’s it. If I decide to ask her out and get this answer that’s pretty much a no + a next.

 

[soulforge]

You handled it fine.. What better way is there to get know someone other than meeting up, drink, chat, flirting, chemistry etc?

She was expecting you to PROVE yourself by kissing her ass, and jumping through hoops!

Fuk her man.. just move on!

 

[soulforge]

I used to fall for this one all the time but not anymore. Op I think you handled it perfectly. I don’t mind chatting off and on for a few days but that’s it. If I decide to ask her out and get this answer that’s pretty much a no + a next.

Yes a couple of days of banter is fine.. This idea some woman have of finding the chemistry and spark, by texting back and forth endlessly is complete bullchit.

She is simply stalling, or expecting you to prove your worth like a lowly peasant.. Nah if she doesn't say yes... Simply MOVE ON

 

[Atom Smasher]

I look at it differently, and this is how I bagged my current gf:

I go for a few weeks of chat before meeting up. I guess writing is my forte, and I use it to generate mystery, excitement, and attraction.

By the time we meet she is ripe and already invested. Works like a charm for me, but everyone’s style is different.

 

[marmel75]

I ran into a few of these women. Some people on OLD are really gunshy about meeting up. In most instances it means she isnt that interested tho or is an AW

 

[soulforge]

I ran into a few of these women. Some people on OLD are really gunshy about meeting up. In most instances it means she isnt that interested tho or is an AW

I have found this too.. They will chat forever, but soon as you mention meeting up.. Bham she loses interest.. Online game reaps very little rewards for the effort one has to put in.

I much prefer to approach these days!

 

[Tilex]

God damn! She sounds like a typical Human Resource Manager.

Convince me right now you bottom feeding slave! Why should I hire you?

She must've had a few bad experiences in the past.
If I were you, I would've just asked for her phone number when she said she wanted to chat a bit more.

 

[highSpeed]

I started a chat with a woman on one of the app' and told her I liked her profile.
After we went back and forth with a few massages, I said:
Me: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more sometime soon and take it from there.
Me: Well, nothing beat face to face chat if you're REALLY want to know someone. Let me know if you'll change your mind, bye for now.

She didn't reply.

Now, the way I see the "I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more and take it from there" is pretty simple, it's like she said:
"I'm not saying No, but convince me why you worth my time, why I should say YES. The decision of meeting up or not is actually now in her hand.

Trying to "convince" a woman to go out with me, by "proving" myself worthy to her, is not a place I would ever put myself into.

I usually take anything other than Yes, as a No! and move on.

I'm interested in your opinion, as this scenario came up from time to time, and I want to know once and for all if my usual answer to this is correct, or could I handle it differently to get the result I want ( a date).
Would you react differently to my last response? would you do something deferent? or, do you think my instincts and response are correct?

Cheers

short answer, she doesn't want to talk with you. Long answer, if all of her other options fall through, she might consider talking to you. You're the fallback guy, the settlement, I wouldn't wait around or contact again for a second, huge waste of time if you do.

 

[AttackFormation]

OP: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more sometime soon and take it from there.

Chris Hemsworth: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: Okay! what time works for you?

 

[The Diver]

OP: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more sometime soon and take it from there.

Chris Hemsworth: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: Okay! what time works for you?

Yeap... This hypothetical mind game helped me many time to get the correct picture,,lol

 

[MrJack]

I started a chat with a woman on one of the app' and told her I liked her profile.
After we went back and forth with a few massages, I said:
Me: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more sometime soon and take it from there.
Me: Well, nothing beat face to face chat if you're REALLY want to know someone. Let me know if you'll change your mind, bye for now.

She didn't reply.

Now, the way I see the "I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more and take it from there" is pretty simple, it's like she said:
"I'm not saying No, but convince me why you worth my time, why I should say YES. The decision of meeting up or not is actually now in her hand.

Trying to "convince" a woman to go out with me, by "proving" myself worthy to her, is not a place I would ever put myself into.

I usually take anything other than Yes, as a No! and move on.

I'm interested in your opinion, as this scenario came up from time to time, and I want to know once and for all if my usual answer to this is correct, or could I handle it differently to get the result I want ( a date).
Would you react differently to my last response? would you do something deferent? or, do you think my instincts and response are correct?

Cheers

You handled it fine. Any girl who says she just wants to chat more online first is either super shy/sheltered or she’s an attention wh0re looking for more validation through OLD... 9/10 times it’s the latter.

Congrats you just screened out another broad who seeks to waste your time so keep doing what you are doing.

 

[Mazer]

Time waster. Case closed.

 

[dude99]

I started a chat with a woman on one of the app' and told her I liked her profile.
After we went back and forth with a few massages, I said:
Me: After reading your profile, I knew I want to meet you, and after our chat, I still want to meet you. So let's meet up for a coffee or a drink.
She: I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more sometime soon and take it from there.
Me: Well, nothing beat face to face chat if you're REALLY want to know someone. Let me know if you'll change your mind, bye for now.

She didn't reply.

Now, the way I see the "I'm not saying NO, but I would like to chat a bit more and take it from there" is pretty simple, it's like she said:
"I'm not saying No, but convince me why you worth my time, why I should say YES. The decision of meeting up or not is actually now in her hand.

Trying to "convince" a woman to go out with me, by "proving" myself worthy to her, is not a place I would ever put myself into.

I usually take anything other than Yes, as a No! and move on.

I'm interested in your opinion, as this scenario came up from time to time, and I want to know once and for all if my usual answer to this is correct, or could I handle it differently to get the result I want ( a date).
Would you react differently to my last response? would you do something deferent? or, do you think my instincts and response are correct?

Cheers

This is a chick who wants attention. Not dates..

Cutting through her crap when you translate it is this :

"I'm not saying yes."


Don't waste your time.

 

[Harry Wilmington SLW]

I'd be curious to know what the conversation was prior to the "meet-up" request. Just so I can give a better answer to your question...

 

[The Diver]

I'd be curious to know what the conversation was prior to the "meet-up" request. Just so I can give a better answer to your question...

The usual things, like my hobbies, what she like doing for fun, her kids age,. She went offline for half an hour during the chat, and when she got back online I cut to the chase and messaged her what I wrote in my post.

I found that chatting a bit about those things is enough for any girl, and me, to know if she/ me like meeting up.

I used to spend hours and days chatting and found it is no different on the outcome ( secure a date ) compare to a short, fun upbeat chat, where I asked straight up for a "meet-up". On 80% of the time where I took this approach I got the "I would love to,, when? (Just to be fair, some of them will cancel later on, but that part of the game, no dramas )

 

[Harry Wilmington SLW]

Thanks for the clarity! I'm an digital dating expert myself, and have found that, for the most part, your assessment of messaging women and getting dates is correct most of the time. With that said, I typically try to feel out the convo and her answers to see if it's a woman I should ask out right away, or one that needs more time. Not time in the sense of the number of messages, but in the sense of spreading out how many days I've talked to her. For some women I have found that sending 5 to 7 messages over 2 days makes them feel like they know me more, simply due to the number of "hours" she feels we've been talking for (whereas other women can get sent the same number of messages in a 12 hour time span and be ready to go out).

All that said: this woman was out once you said she had kids - women with baggage like that are already going to have issues committing to dates, and/or will use the kids as an excuse not to see you if they're starting to lose interest. Soooo ultimately, no loss here.

 

[nismo-4]

I ran into a few of these women. Some people on OLD are really gunshy about meeting up. In most instances it means she isnt that interested tho or is an AW

Gunshy my ass! Would you be gunshy about meeting Katy Perry if she asked you out on a date? I guarantee you wouldn't, you'd save your game of Madden 18 in the 2nd quarter to get ready!

My money is on attention wh0re. Would she do this game to Lebron James or Matt Ryan? Hell no.

Second place is for losers. Women have worldwide prospects and male competition is fierce.

Good job OP for dropping her. Extra points if you're not holding your breath. Time wasters hate when you want to meet face to face, because they lose non-sexual attention.

For the record, the decision to meet you was in her hands from the get-go.

Case closed. Get a new woman.