So there are many problems plaguing me.
I've got some property in the caribbean. On a beautiful island where the sun always shines. The house itself is falling apart, but the land it's on might be worth 1,000,000. I've got one more year to finish my Civil Engineering degree for which I basically have negative motivation. I feel like I'd rather not even finish it at this point in time because ever since my internship I was thoroughly turned off of the civil engineering life.
What I'm interested in is more psychology, science and biology, not the construction of buildings and bridges. I just want to get the degree for reasons discussed earlier in the thread. For the sake of having a degree.
I am trying to think of this in a practical way, but every time I come up with a solution I only temporarily feel better.
It's always been my goal, my ambition, since I was 11 years old, to come to Holland, get a good degree and then go back to that house in the caribbean and work there and raise my children there. The inheritance my father left is being spent at a retarded pace and it looks as though the house in the caribbean will have to be sold.
I have nobody to turn to for guidance. My brother and my mom don't do anything, like I already said, except sit at home and smoke and spend money.
While this is all going on I am trying to figure out how I can keep the place, whether I can study another degree after I finish this one, etc. I have no idea where I'm going to be in 5 years. I just know that I'm studying for a degree right now to do a job I don't like living in a country that I really don't want to live in.
PS: Let me also mention that the boredom and angst I was pointing to in my last post has led me to get in a fight in the bar 2 weeks ago and end up the hospital. I've been operated, bones in my face restructured. Titanium plate inserted. 4 screws on side of my nose.