"I did not think you were serious"

[magevis]

Why do women use this line when apparently they are rejecting you.

I called a tinder girl who a week earlier had flaked on me only for her to drop that line on me when I calmly confronted her about it.

She finally admitted at the end of the call that she had 'found what she is looking for'.

I have friend who was also told the same thing by a girl back then after he was flaked on.

What's the deal here?

 

[R.U.G.]

You were the backup plan. Women never leave something unless they have something or someone else in place. Happens to everyone. Just move on and let it go.

 

[ohrein]

Women are physically weaker than men and as such use verbal trickery to resolve conflicts. It's subconscious and fear driven. They have a far higher acuity for verbal and non-verbal communication. When they feel like they're being confronted they will lie. It is their biological defense system at work.

As for the flake on Tinder, that's just par for the course. Until you've been on multiple dates with a woman, there is not going to be any security.

 

[lizardking82]

The problem, my friend, is you called her after she flaked you. If someone flakes on you, they are disrespecting your time and attention and you do not go offer yourself to that same person again. You go on with your life and if/when they come back to talk to you, you "sell yourself" twice as high as you did at first, meaning if this happened to me, I would just tell that particular woman "Does the idea of being close to me make your panties wet?" and anything other than a yes would mean conversation over. No time for useless games.

Up your game, up your self respect. You got a long way to go.

 

[R.U.G.]

Women are physically weaker than men and as such use verbal trickery to resolve conflicts. It's subconscious and fear driven. They have a far higher acuity for verbal and non-verbal communication. When they feel like they're being confronted they will lie. It is their biological defense system at work.

As for the flake on Tinder, that's just par for the course. Until you've been on multiple dates with a woman, there is not going to be any security.

Even then, things can still fall off pretty easily. Tinder is for STDs and hook ups, nothing else.

 

[R.U.G.]

The problem, my friend, is you called her after she flaked you. If someone flakes on you, they are disrespecting your time and attention and you do not go offer yourself to that same person again. You go on with your life and if/when they come back to talk to you, you "sell yourself" twice as high as you did at first, meaning if this happened to me, I would just tell that particular woman "Does the idea of being close to me make your panties wet?" and anything other than a yes would mean conversation over. No time for useless games.

Up your game, up your self respect. You got a long way to go.

Wouldn't even do that. If they flake on you, you can reach out once. If no reply, move on. If they reach out to you, have them come to you and you Netflix and chill. You actually have the upper hand if they come crawling back to you. It means their plan A didn't work out. Only had this happen to me twice, but I declined to take them back. I lost interest.

 

[lizardking82]

Wouldn't even do that. If they flake on you, you can reach out once. If no reply, move on. If they reach out to you, have them come to you and you Netflix and chill. You actually have the upper hand if they come crawling back to you. It means their plan A didn't work out. Only had this happen to me twice, but I declined to take them back. I lost interest.

I would most probably lose interest, but to make it clear to them how precious your time and attention is, I would ask that question even if just for fun and test out the situation. Had a situation like this with a girl who wanted to come bang and then changed her mind cause her boyfriend was back in the picture and I let her go, easy peasy. She wrote to me after a couple of weeks and I asked her this question, got her wet in a couple of minutes, made her *** through texting and now whether she comes here to have fun or not is none of my business, I just learned something new LOL

 

[magevis]

I only called her to give it one more shot, nothing much, I wasn't attached to the outcome.

 

[lizardking82]

I only called her to give it one more shot, nothing much, I wasn't attached to the outcome.

It doesn't matter that you were or were not attached to the outcome LOL don't give me this textbook answer. What I am telling you is far bigger than you banging a chick or not. It has to do with making it clear to people how important and precious your time is, but your time really has to be precious to you and right now it is not, as far as I can see. That is why you go around giving second chances to chicks who flake. I say don't do that, dedicate those 5 minutes to something worthy.

 

[ohrein]

Even then, things can still fall off pretty easily. Tinder is for STDs and hook ups, nothing else.

I met my girlfriend on Tinder and she's amazing. I have three friends who all met their girlfriends on Tinder as well and 2/3 of them are top notch women too. Tinder is an ap that connects you with people. What you get out of it is up to how you use it.

 

[magevis]

I must admit, that line got me confused. I took it at face value and the first thing in my mind was "Let me show her that I'm still interested"

But then I remembered the same happened to my friend, and it hit me.

I figure it's a form of manipulation that women use.

 

[R.U.G.]

I met my girlfriend on Tinder and she's amazing. I have three friends who all met their girlfriends on Tinder as well and 2/3 of them are top notch women too. Tinder is an ap that connects you with people. What you get out of it is up to how you use it.

Whatever works for you. I know a few bros who went on Tinder and stated to me they caught something. I've never been on Tinder, so I cannot comment personally, but I am only speaking from what I was told. Then again, within NYC, you have many men and women hooking up like there is no tomorrow. It's only a matter of time when the law of numbers comes into play and STDs just flow from one to another. It amazes me how many people do not use protection..

 

[ohrein]

Whatever works for you. I know a few bros who went on Tinder and stated to me they caught something. I've never been on Tinder, so I cannot comment personally, but I am only speaking from what I was told. Then again, within NYC, you have many men and women hooking up like there is no tomorrow. It's only a matter of time when the law of numbers comes into play and STDs just flow from one to another. It amazes me how many people do not use protection..

Oh yeah, I know guys who hook up with anything even remotely attractive and they have had STD's, stalkers severe enough to get the police, and all sorts of stuff happen. I screened hard and didn't settle at all and I went through a lot of flakes and first dates to find a decent one. Not saying Tinder is full of gold, because it's not. But you can find some decent women on there if you persevere and are picky.

 

[R.U.G.]

Oh yeah, I know guys who hook up with anything even remotely attractive and they have had STD's, stalkers severe enough to get the police, and all sorts of stuff happen. I screened hard and didn't settle at all and I went through a lot of flakes and first dates to find a decent one. Not saying Tinder is full of gold, because it's not. But you can find some decent women on there if you persevere and are picky.

I'll take your word for it. One STD scare for me is enough. Hopefully, it will be the last. Sex is great, love it. However, it's not worth the gift that keeps on giving. Plus, you cannot trust any of these new age modern women any way. I know so many that have told my bros that hey, I have to tell you something. They are thinking prego first, but nope. It's I think I have something, or I have something, or I am still in treatment for the infection. They tell this to the bro AFTER sex. Unreal. I know some will say, you can live your life to the fullest or live your life in fear. I do live my life to the fullest I can possible. However, those STDs scare the fvck out of me; and I do not scare easy. Rather go back on a war tour than chance catching one of those bugs.

Life's too long to have to worry about those things re-occurring or catching them again.

 

[R.U.G.]

Doesn't matter. Never ever ever ever ever ever confront a woman about ending things. It's water off a duck's back.

Often you get guys in the sphere saying things like "but she needs to be told!". Pffft

Try the water off a duck's back approach for a bit, and tell me that it's not better. Allowing women to stress you out in various ways should be kept to a minimum. It's not about "teaching her a lesson" or whatever, It's about having a pleasant life. Prioritise that.



I grew up with a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. And you actually sound much worse than I am.

It actually appeals to my ocd, but I'm telling you straight that this sh1t doesn't fly in general. People are savages. Women? Savages.

"Just pull out". Etc.

For balance sake, one needs to weigh up having an enjoyable sex life with protecting themselves. But you are erring ever so much towards one extreme.

OCD on not wanting STDs? Okay, to each their own. You'd be surprised how much some of these STDs have messed up my friends' lives. They actually have a conscience and disclose this to the women prior to sex. It's a killer (the ones with the incurable ones). I'd be the same, as I couldn't just knowingly say fvck it and pass it on to a woman. So, if I am being a bit cautious, there are worse things to be in life.