If you were the bf, how would you feel?

[The LadyKiller]

A HB I met work work and I hear about a new restaurant opening up in our town. We both express an interest in trying it out, so we set up a time and go. It ended up being just the two of us. Which I bring up because, as you see in the title, she is in a relationship (I've never met the bf). It's not a secret, they've been dating for two years and just signed a lease for an apartment.

She and I had a good time, but nothing "happened" - most of the meal was us making sense of the life and career crossroads she and I are in. Our bosses are about to offer me a deal to move across the country for work in a couple months (more money, but I also just settled in this location and like where I am), while she has a year to decide between making that same move or staying with her bf. She likes the newer location, but would probably end the relationship if she went (bf isn't moving).

But, back to the main point. If you're her bf and she goes to lunch 1-on-1 with another guy - regardless of context, what goes through your mind?

 

[_sideways_]

Shes not in love with her bf.
Or...doesnt care.
Unless they both can do lunches 1-1.
If i was the bf...id start doing 1 on 1 dinners with co workers

 

[highSpeed]

I'd have to say I'd be pretty p*ssed, especially if it was one on one. So if she walked in the door, said, hey, I'm going out with a guy from work for lunch, only me and him. I'd have to say I'd be pretty pissed. She can obviously do whatever she wants but that's unbelievably disrespectful. How many times have your heard something like, well, we weren't seeing each other, we were just friends but if you spend enough time together, something is going to happen eventually. Now if you were seeing each other but there was no mutual exclusivity implied or stated, then hey, whatever, you can't be mad if you're not in a relationship. Women know this and use these types of situations largely for the attention from both guys. And once they have you in a relationship, it's tougher to get out, especially if you have some type of investment, emotional or otherwise, into a relationship.

 

[ohrein]

what goes through your mind?

My mind would probably think pay attention. I've tried to train myself to spot changes in behavior with an objective view but it's very difficult.

That said, I don't think lunch with a coworker is a big deal. If it was dinner and a movie that finished after 10pm, yeah, we'll be having a chat. If it's drinks one on one on a weekend evening, yeah, we'll be having a chat. Basically if a woman does something you know she wouldn't like you doing, I'd be having a chat using that exact line. I think those moments easily break relationships too, especially if you're game aware because you're now overtly communicating about frame. Slippery slope.

End of the day though, women who are exclusive with me know that if they cheat the relationship is over permanently. I will forgive them but I won't want them in my life. So my mentality is if they cheat, they're just telling me that they want me out of their life for good so I'm happy to oblige.

 

[_sideways_]

I started out with just lunches with friends. Two things happen...we caught feelings for each other...ruined the relationship.
She caught feelings...ruined the relationship.
Especially if hes good looking...smart...funny...
Isnt that called branch swinging?

 

[ohrein]

I started out with just lunches with friends. Two things happen...we caught feelings for each other...ruined the relationship.
She caught feelings...ruined the relationship.
Especially if hes good looking...smart...funny...
Isnt that called branch swinging?

If she's going to branch swing to a higher value guy at all, then you're not going to stop it. Hypergamy will find a way. If shes goes to lunch or not makes no difference. She works with the guy, eventually she'll find a way.

 

[_sideways_]

Not even higher value
...maybe he sucks in bed...leaves the toilet seat up...bf is verbally abusive...shes got one foot out the door. Its no ones fault either.
Plain and simple...shes entertaining anothers presence. Thats a low key date.

 

[_sideways_]

Put it this way...if dude was a troll she wouldnt have stayed to finish lunch.

 

[Young OG]

If you're her bf and she goes to lunch 1-on-1 with another guy - regardless of context, what goes through your mind?

I wouldn't be very happy if my gf did this. I wouldn't show her I was mad but I would start looking for a replacement. She has no respect.

If she's going to branch swing to a higher value guy at all, then you're not going to stop it. Hypergamy will find a way. If shes goes to lunch or not makes no difference. She works with the guy, eventually she'll find a way.

This is true

 

[btownbuck2012]

My mind would probably think pay attention. I've tried to train myself to spot changes in behavior with an objective view but it's very difficult.

That said, I don't think lunch with a coworker is a big deal. If it was dinner and a movie that finished after 10pm, yeah, we'll be having a chat. If it's drinks one on one on a weekend evening, yeah, we'll be having a chat. Basically if a woman does something you know she wouldn't like you doing, I'd be having a chat using that exact line. I think those moments easily break relationships too, especially if you're game aware because you're now overtly communicating about frame. Slippery slope.

End of the day though, women who are exclusive with me know that if they cheat the relationship is over permanently. I will forgive them but I won't want them in my life. So my mentality is if they cheat, they're just telling me that they want me out of their life for good so I'm happy to oblige.

I agree with you but the practicality of doing this is hard. The X factor women have in the game is their inhuman ability to shut off even after a long period of time when the guy has emotionally bonded with her. And women always seem to pull this move when everything else would indicate otherwise, I.e. ops example just signed a lease with bf.

 

[Spaz]

Just lunch?

It means so little to even register in my subconscious.

 

[Reykhel]

Fellas, you stress too much at times.

We have to ask why would the op ask her out knowing she has a boyfriend.

Is he trying to steal the girl? did he have no success stealing the girl and now he's bad mouthing her?

I could give a fvck about a lunch. Going out getting done up at night for dinner......now that would make me raise my eyebrow.

 

[_sideways_]

Shes still entertaining another dude though. Thats why she should be single. Shes not being forced by either guy to do anything she doesnt want to be doing.
She could be just out for just lookie no touchie but hell...lets all play that game

I mean in the end...its how you define the terms of the relationship

 

[btownbuck2012]

Shes still entertaining another dude though. Thats why she should be single. Shes not being forced by either guy to do anything she doesnt want to be doing.
She could be just out for just lookie no touchie but hell...lets all play that game

I mean in the end...its how you define the terms of the relationship

Lmao at “that’s why she should still be single” and “defining terms of the relationship”
That’s like trying to negotiate terms with the joker from the dark knight. Women don’t care they are Maciavellian. You negotiate terms and hang the phone up they go f*ck some side piece and then come home and sign the agreement that you discussed earlier.

 

[Reykhel]

Shes still entertaining another dude though. Thats why she should be single. Shes not being forced by either guy to do anything she doesnt want to be doing.
She could be just out for just lookie no touchie but hell...lets all play that game

I mean in the end...its how you define the terms of the relationship

insecure much?

I'm seeing insecurity in your posts

shower your biatch and rim her......would be the answer from a man who is confortable in his sexuality...............you are insecure and not
comfortable with yourself

 

[Reykhel]

Put it this way...if dude was a troll she wouldnt have stayed to finish lunch.

you are insecure and creepy.

work on that and let's see if you care later.

if you were having lunches with hot women.......or if you had a busy life......

 

[lizardking82]

I agree with you but the practicality of doing this is hard. The X factor women have in the game is their inhuman ability to shut off even after a long period of time when the guy has emotionally bonded with her. And women always seem to pull this move when everything else would indicate otherwise, I.e. ops example just signed a lease with bf.

But, here's the key play:

A girl I talked about here in the forum that "left me for her boss" LOL did this exact same thing, when I thought things were going for the better and higher, she "dropped the bomb". I reacted a bit angrily, but after that, pretty cool overall, took her off all social media the next day and did not answer her calls. Nothing with anger or much resentment, just didn't feel like it.

She is now back calling me 3-4 times a day, sending me pics of herself, watching everything I post on Instagram through another profile cause hers is blocked LOL

If you don't feed their emotions much when they leave right at the point where things look perfect, they will come back almost for sure and then you won't want them anymore, which is the ultimate, unvoluntary (to a certain degree) revenge.

 

[btownbuck2012]

But, here's the key play:

A girl I talked about here in the forum that "left me for her boss" LOL did this exact same thing, when I thought things were going for the better and higher, she "dropped the bomb". I reacted a bit angrily, but after that, pretty cool overall, took her off all social media the next day and did not answer her calls. Nothing with anger or much resentment, just didn't feel like it.

She is now back calling me 3-4 times a day, sending me pics of herself, watching everything I post on Instagram through another profile cause hers is blocked LOL

If you don't feed their emotions much when they leave right at the point where things look perfect, they will come back almost for sure and then you won't want them anymore, which is the ultimate, unvoluntary (to a certain degree) revenge.

Yeah I agree that’s sweet revenge but after a woman has revealed such low character I could give a damn how badly she wants me back. Plus it’s probably a trap anyway lol.

 

[lizardking82]

Yeah I agree that’s sweet revenge but after a woman has revealed such low character I could give a damn how badly she wants me back. Plus it’s probably a trap anyway lol.

Absolutely, other than sweet revenge, I would not touch any of these women again. But playing around with them might make you a day or two and that's that.

 

[_sideways_]

you are insecure and creepy.

work on that and let's see if you care later.

if you were having lunches with hot women.......or if you had a busy life......

Damn bro...dont get your heart rate up