Fried reports 6 dates

[flowtheory]

FIELD REPORTS ON 6 DATES

In an earlier dated thread there was disscussion on confirming and not confirming with the woman prior to a first date. In the last week and a half I have been on 6 dates.
I told @R.U.G., @guru1000, and @EyeBRollin I would experiment with each and get back with the results.

- I met each of these six women via Tinder/Bumble.
- I asked each woman their phone number within the first 3-5 messages.
(This is also a great way to see the woman’s interest. But know you will lose a lot of women this way. If I messaged with this style to twenty women, 50% would be unresponsive)
- After the number was received I planned the date within the first or second messsge. On average 4-5 days in advance; some ran up to a week.
- No random chatting or trying to build interest via text or calling. Just straight planning. If they tried, I would steer the conversation back to “let’s talk about it on the date”.
- I confirmed NONE before each date. And the result of this was every women confirmed the date with me on the day of saying “still on for tonight?”, “looking forward to this evening!”, etc. Some had rescheduled for different days, and all I simply did was agree to another day taking the reigns and anchoring another day.

So from my experience, you do not need to confirm the day of the date. Such as @EyeBRollin had stated. I’m really surprised, as I had been of the mindset to follow up on the day of.

With this template stated above, know that the women will be a bit all over the place, as they are used to normally having lots of texts being shared before the date with men doing heavy chasing and fair amounts of messaging; so there could be multiple reschedules and random texts with questions coming in. Which can get annoying.
However, know that you will be a cut above the rest as it’s showing your time is really valuable I would believe.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Textbook. And every woman that texted you to confirm showed up I assume?

All I’ve been stressing to men here is to let these women have the space to choose you. @flowtheory showed exactly how it works. The uptight women and the texting *****s won’t go out with you, but they never were going to go out with you on your terms anyway.

 

[flowtheory]

Textbook. And every woman that texted you to confirm showed up I assume?

All I’ve been stressing to men here is to let these women have the space to choose you. @flowtheory showed exactly how it works. The uptight women and the texting *****s won’t go out with you, but they never were going to go out with you on your terms anyway.

Yep, never got stood up once.

And very true about the women who texted a whole bunch asking loads of questions.. “why there”, “why that time”, etc etc.
I had two who did this and they kept trying to reschedule. On the second reschedule attempt, I told them “it’s all good; good luck” and then went silent (this is not included in the 6 dates)

 

[R.U.G.]

Happy to know our tips helped. Keep it up flow control!

 

[ohrein]

Someone listening to advice, applying it to the real world and examining the results. This is how you make positive changes in your life, people!

 

[Mazer]

Good stuff. Lately, I have been confirming dates because they live about 30minutes away, My time is valuable and I am not about to take a drive for nothing. Also, have noticed Chicks who had high interest after date #1 ALWAYS confirm on the 2nd date.

 

[flowtheory]

Also looking for some feedback here.

Generally on these dates, I was able to have a good time, and they had a seemingly pleasant time too. They always do as I’m very personable. However, I felt I wasn’t able to engage our time into high sexual chemistry territory; instilling emotions of desire towards me. Even if I touched them or kiss closed them, something felt amiss, and I’ve only been slightly in contact with one of the six dates which isn’t ideal.

Now, I don’t know if sometimes there will just be a lack of connection due to many factors and that’s just how it goes in playing the field or if it’s something I can do differently. And right now I’ve hit a string of duds. Because if I’m being honest I wasn’t terribly attracted to these women - only one I was - however that shouldn’t stop them from feeling attracted to me.

On the dates I can talk about any subject, relate, show wit. I talk intelligibly and about ideas rather than events or people. Only areas i may be missing the mark is that I’m a fairly deep person and this may not be conducive to building attraction, as it may be seen as ‘too serious’? Can’t be too sure though. At the moment I also have a pretty big full beard (which isn’t shaped at all) and may think this is a hinderance in some form of attraction.

I had a woman the day before yesterday tell me via text that she had a lot of fun but didn’t feel that ‘spark’ of chemistry even though we had kissed twice.

Thoughts on what could be holding me back from getting the follow up calls or girls in my bed more often?

All insights are appreciated. I feel like my predating game and streamlining if getting dates is on point, now I have desire to cultivate the actual emotional connection on the first date.

 

[marmel75]

Also looking for some feedback here.

Generally on these dates, I was able to have a good time, and they had a seemingly pleasant time too. They always do as I’m very personable. However, I felt I wasn’t able to engage our time into high sexual chemistry territory; instilling emotions of desire towards me. Even if I touched them or kiss closed them, something felt amiss, and I’ve only been slightly in contact with one of the six dates which isn’t ideal.

Now, I don’t know if sometimes there will just be a lack of connection due to many factors and that’s just how it goes in playing the field or if it’s something I can do differently. And right now I’ve hit a string of duds. Because if I’m being honest I wasn’t terribly attracted to these women - only one I was - however that shouldn’t stop them from feeling attracted to me.

On the dates I can talk about any subject, relate, show wit. I talk intelligibly and about ideas rather than events or people. Only areas i may be missing the mark is that I’m a fairly deep person and this may not be conducive to building attraction, as it may be seen as ‘too serious’? Can’t be too sure though. At the moment I also have a pretty big full beard (which isn’t shaped at all) and may think this is a hinderance in some form of attraction.

I had a woman the day before yesterday tell me via text that she had a lot of fun but didn’t feel that ‘spark’ of chemistry even though we had kissed twice.

Thoughts on what could be holding me back from getting the follow up calls or girls in my bed more often?

All insights are appreciated. I feel like my predating game and streamlining if getting dates is on point, now I have desire to cultivate the actual emotional connection on the first date.

Talking intelligibly and talking/acting sexually are totally different things. If you can't make a women sexually excited in some way either via conversation or via actions, you simply end up in the "Yeah, he was a nice guy and I had a good time, but i didn't feel any chemistry with him" conversation when she talks to her girlfriends the next day.

You have to understand how to take things she says and turn them into something sexually suggestive and have fun with it. Like if she asks how was your day? A normal response might be "Oh it was good I did blah blah".

But that doesn't do anything to turn things sexual or plant something sexual in her mind. My favorite response to this? "Long and hard" with a smirk and then just silence so she can digest it.

I'm talking about my day but do you think her mind is thinking about a day being "long and hard"? Hell no..her mind is thinking about other things being long and hard.

You can do this with literally anything she says in one way or another once you become good at it and its the grand total of all of these times together that gets her turned on not necesarily one thing...like a radio dial starting at zero and slowly being turned until its at full blast...when you start this at the beginning of the date and continue it by mid date you are making out and by the end she is wanting your d!ck in the worst way whether or not it happens that night.

 

[flowtheory]

Talking intelligibly and talking/acting sexually are totally different things. If you can't make a women sexually excited in some way either via conversation or via actions, you simply end up in the "Yeah, he was a nice guy and I had a good time, but i didn't feel any chemistry with him" conversation when she talks to her girlfriends the next day.

You have to understand how to take things she says and turn them into something sexually suggestive and have fun with it. Like if she asks how was your day? A normal response might be "Oh it was good I did blah blah".

But that doesn't do anything to turn things sexual or plant something sexual in her mind. My favorite response to this? "Long and hard" with a smirk and then just silence so she can digest it.

I'm talking about my day but do you think her mind is thinking about a day being "long and hard"? Hell no..her mind is thinking about other things being long and hard.

You can do this with literally anything she says in one way or another once you become good at it and its the grand total of all of these times together that gets her turned on not necesarily one thing...like a radio dial starting at zero and slowly being turned until its at full blast...when you start this at the beginning of the date and continue it by mid date you are making out and by the end she is wanting your d!ck in the worst way whether or not it happens that night.

If one is always saying sexual comments or inneuendos, won’t that work against a man?
I mean, I can do that if required. However, overly doing that could get tiring or be seen as scummy, no?

Does a man have to be excitable and super gregarious to be constantly successful with women he is pursuing? I feel like it’s putting on a dancing monkey suit in a way.

I have a quite mellow personality; introspective. However I can be opinionated and dominate at the same time when need be to hold my own.
I’m having difficulty trying to frame it in my mind to be that man who is super fun to be around yet still carry the weight of that highly intelligent mind, though being seen as highly sexual and exciting.
Although I wouldn’t say I’m “whoa so much fun!! Kind of guy” and in your face colour.

As of recent dates I’m falling too much to the side of intelligent and interesting, rather than exciting and “I want to sleep with him.”
Because I always get women who intently listen to what I am saying, but not looking at me with the ‘I want your d!ck eyes’
And how does a man go about this?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

When I was on OLD for a year and a half, I probably had close to 100 dates and I never confirmed any of them. My experience was the same, that the girls would confirm with me. I did get stood up twice though. But twice out of 100 isn't bad. I also had a handful of girls flake a day in advance - I always wondered if it was because they were worried I was going to flake first since we didn't talk between the initial communication and the date, but I'll never know.

Thoughts on what could be holding me back from getting the follow up calls or girls in my bed more often?

Couple suggestions to experiment with.....
1. You said you weren't terribly attracted to them but that shouldn't stop them from feeling attracted to you. In my experience, this isn't true. Most women seem to be able to sense that you aren't attracted, even if you are trying to pretend. Of course, it depends on you, and it depends on her, but I think a lot of times, it's harder to fake it than you think. There is a LOT of non-verbal communication that takes place between two people and it is often subconscious.
2. When it comes to conversation, there are two types of women: Ones who enjoy surface-level conversations, and ones who like going deeper and getting philosophical etc. I have found that more women enjoy surface level conversations. So know your audience - the women who like to go below the surface will make it obvious quickly in your conversations. If she doesn't, then stay on the surface. Having said that, women like to talk about feelings and emotions so focus on injecting a lot of feelings and emotions in the stories you tell, and when she's talking, you can ask her followup questions about how she felt in that situation, like "Did you feel relieved when that happened? Like a huge weight had finally been lifted from your chest?"
3. Are you being nice all the time and not rocking the boat? Tease her and disagree with her about things, in a playful way. This creates tension and usually when a woman says there was "no spark", this is the first thing I assume a person did wrong. I know because I've been there done that! Now I tease the sh*t out of girls. This is not negs. Negs are like, "I like your hair - that style is very common these days," or, "A friend of mine has that same dress." You don't want to put her down but you do want to tease playfully, and always do it with a smirk or grin on your face. Find something to disagree with her about, but do it in a teasing playful way. Like if she lists a couple bands she likes, you can say something like, "Britney Spears?! Wow, well it's a good thing you like ________ because we don't seem to be musically compatible!" Again, with a big grin/smirk. Or something like, "Kanye? Really? I had you more pegged as a Just Bieber fan".... someone you know is really basic and she wouldn't like.

 

[marmel75]

If one is always saying sexual comments or inneuendos, won’t that work against a man?
I mean, I can do that if required. However, overly doing that could get tiring or be seen as scummy, no?

Does a man have to be excitable and super gregarious to be constantly successful with women he is pursuing? I feel like it’s putting on a dancing monkey suit in a way.

I have a quite mellow personality; introspective. However I can be opinionated and dominate at the same time when need be to hold my own.
I’m having difficulty trying to frame it in my mind to be that man who is super fun to be around yet still carry the weight of that highly intelligent mind, though being seen as highly sexual and exciting.
Although I wouldn’t say I’m “whoa so much fun!! Kind of guy” and in your face colour.

As of recent dates I’m falling too much to the side of intelligent and interesting, rather than exciting and “I want to sleep with him.”
Because I always get women who intently listen to what I am saying, but not looking at me with the ‘I want your d!ck eyes’
And how does a man go about this?

I literally just told you and you ask how do you do that?

 

[flowtheory]

I literally just told you and you ask how do you do that?

Haha yes I see your advice. However I should be making sexual comments left and right, that’s how you get them wet with desire?
My question was won’t that get scummy or old pretty quick?

 

[marmel75]

Haha yes I see your advice. However I should be making sexual comments left and right, that’s how you get them wet with desire?
My question was won’t that get scummy or old pretty quick?

No...you are making NORMAL comments/coversation that can be taken sexually if someone's "mind is in the gutter", which women's minds often are.

 

[flowtheory]

No...you are making NORMAL comments/coversation that can be taken sexually if someone's "mind is in the gutter", which women's minds often are.

Yes I understand what you’re saying, but I’m asking; do I always speak in double entendres non stop?
That’s the overall arching advice here? Wouldn’t that get old, not to mention exhausting rather quickly?

 

[marmel75]

Yes I understand what you’re saying, but I’m asking; do I always speak in double entendres non stop?
That’s the overall arching advice here? Wouldn’t that get old, not to mention exhausting rather quickly?

Its not all the time, but initially there will be lots of opportunity to do so...

 

[flowtheory]

Its not all the time, but initially there will be lots of opportunity to do so...

I’ll implement it. Any other improvements I could implement?

 

[flowtheory]

When I was on OLD for a year and a half, I probably had close to 100 dates and I never confirmed any of them. My experience was the same, that the girls would confirm with me. I did get stood up twice though. But twice out of 100 isn't bad. I also had a handful of girls flake a day in advance - I always wondered if it was because they were worried I was going to flake first since we didn't talk between the initial communication and the date, but I'll never know.



Couple suggestions to experiment with.....
1. You said you weren't terribly attracted to them but that shouldn't stop them from feeling attracted to you. In my experience, this isn't true. Most women seem to be able to sense that you aren't attracted, even if you are trying to pretend. Of course, it depends on you, and it depends on her, but I think a lot of times, it's harder to fake it than you think. There is a LOT of non-verbal communication that takes place between two people and it is often subconscious.
2. When it comes to conversation, there are two types of women: Ones who enjoy surface-level conversations, and ones who like going deeper and getting philosophical etc. I have found that more women enjoy surface level conversations. So know your audience - the women who like to go below the surface will make it obvious quickly in your conversations. If she doesn't, then stay on the surface. Having said that, women like to talk about feelings and emotions so focus on injecting a lot of feelings and emotions in the stories you tell, and when she's talking, you can ask her followup questions about how she felt in that situation, like "Did you feel relieved when that happened? Like a huge weight had finally been lifted from your chest?"
3. Are you being nice all the time and not rocking the boat? Tease her and disagree with her about things, in a playful way. This creates tension and usually when a woman says there was "no spark", this is the first thing I assume a person did wrong. I know because I've been there done that! Now I tease the sh*t out of girls. This is not negs. Negs are like, "I like your hair - that style is very common these days," or, "A friend of mine has that same dress." You don't want to put her down but you do want to tease playfully, and always do it with a smirk or grin on your face. Find something to disagree with her about, but do it in a teasing playful way. Like if she lists a couple bands she likes, you can say something like, "Britney Spears?! Wow, well it's a good thing you like ________ because we don't seem to be musically compatible!" Again, with a big grin/smirk. Or something like, "Kanye? Really? I had you more pegged as a Just Bieber fan".... someone you know is really basic and she wouldn't like.

I’m definitely not nice all the time. And I do tease them. However I may not be enough surface level and reading my audience correctly at that moment. I usually go in to dates with just my mindset at that time and share varying ideas about what I’m learning at the given time. Maybe just a bit too psychological and deep for first dates - which in-turn I lose them - when I should just be fooling around and keeping it much more simple. Can be difficult to be simple minded though when one always dwells in the depths.
Also, maybe because I’m not attracted does matter..
However; I’m still trying to get laid often right now

 

[flowtheory]

@ohrein
I was just out sprinting and it literally just clicked in my mind what was being talked about in the others thrwad and where I have been going wrong in terms of many women.

I appeal to their logical mind, but I’m not ignoring their emotional mind. All the deep thoughts about life and valuable perspective I spout is wonderful and interesting but it doesn’t get them wet with desire.
I literally let that slip right by me.

Much like great sex.. it’s an emotional thing and not a congnitive thing. Much like dancing vs debating.

I’ve been SO good at appealing to their logical mind. But not doing as well with appealing to the emotional part of the brain.
It’s so nice when all the ideas converge and a lightbulb blinks and it’s an ‘ah-hah’ moment. No sh!t

 

[ohrein]

@ohrein
I was just out sprinting and it literally just clicked in my mind what was being talked about in the others thrwad and where I have been going wrong in terms of many women.

I appeal to their logical mind, but I’m not ignoring their emotional mind. All the deep thoughts about life and valuable perspective I spout is wonderful and interesting but it doesn’t get them wet with desire.
I literally let that slip right by me.

Much like great sex.. it’s an emotional thing and not a congnitive thing. Much like dancing vs debating.

I’ve been SO good at appealing to their logical mind. But not doing as well with appealing to the emotional part of the brain.
It’s so nice when all the ideas converge and a lightbulb blinks and it’s an ‘ah-hah’ moment. No sh!t

Yes, very important distinction. Women want emotional experiences. Women enjoy you when you're not there. They like the feeling of missing you. That's desire at its core. Men are linear, problem, solution. I'm horny, sex. I enjoy comfort, cuddle. Women enjoy how it feels in that moment. Sex is good for a woman not based on physical stimulation but emotional stimulation. This thread runs through all your interactions with women.

 

[Trump]

do I always speak in double entendres non stop?

You can.

If she asks: ‘Why do you always speak in double entendres?’
You reply: ‘I’d like to double your entendre.’

On the dates I can talk about any subject, relate, show wit. I talk intelligibly and about ideas rather than events or people. Only areas i may be missing the mark is that I’m a fairly deep person and this may not be conducive to building attraction, as it may be seen as ‘too serious’? Can’t be too sure though. At the moment I also have a pretty big full beard (which isn’t shaped at all) and may think this is a hinderance in some form of attraction.

I had a woman the day before yesterday tell me via text that she had a lot of fun but didn’t feel that ‘spark’ of chemistry even though we had kissed twice.

Thoughts on what could be holding me back from getting the follow up calls or girls in my bed more often?

Come on bro, you have been on six dates in 10 days, and you are asking this?

Didn’t feel ‘spark’ of chemistry = No attraction.

1. Shave the beard
2. If not in, get in shape
3. Get them isolated
4. Make a move

These girls are not looking for stimulating logical in depth conversation about world affairs. They are looking to get pounded 18 different ways from Sunday. You guys tend to overthink this game stuff.