Liking myself even though I'm very different

[nicksaiz65]

I'm still working on my frame so that I can be 100% solid and confident. Doing various things to boost my confidence. But sometimes, I feel like I'm just weird and different and it hurts my confidence. For instance, I'm listening to classical music while I study instead of the new Weeknd EP. I'm black but I don't really dance huge like that and I'm not obsessed with mumble rap. I'm not naturally extroverted, I had to work to earn some degree of social skills. I like wearing Chaps Polos sometimes over the more popular brands. I talk really proper and don't talk like I'm off the street. Just different stuff like that. I tried creating a "whole new person," but in the long run that ended up failing spectacularly and nearly ruined my life. How can I be totally confident in myself even though I'm so different from the norm?

 

[BeExcellent]

Embrace who you are at your core and never apologize for that. You are more refined than many of your peers. So you are going to seem different to less refined people, irrespective of color.

This is to your advantage if you find places to associate with other similarly refined people. If you enjoy classical music for example, go to the symphony or the ballet or the opera or a performance of a classical artist. In that environment (say at intermission) you can get a drink and visit with other people who appreciate the arts for example. There are beautiful women involved in ballet for example. Volunteer to help at the theatre and you'll get to meet some women who are in incredible shape and who appreciate classical music, the arts, etc.

Hang out where more educated folks hang out if you want to meet more educated folks. Pick a coffee shop near a medical school or a medical center (for example) if you want to meet cerebral types. Go to museums or to art gallery openings. You feel different because you enjoy different things than the peer group you are most often in contact with (who don't share your interests it seems.) That is a simple enough problem to solve. Place yourself around more like-minded people. Not saying ditch your current friends, just cultivate some new ones around the things you are interested in. And if your buddies think that's odd? So what? Shrug your shoulders and tell them you enjoy XYZ and maybe they should join you some time.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Embrace who you are at your core and never apologize for that. You are more refined than many of your peers. So you are going to seem different to less refined people, irrespective of color.

This is to your advantage if you find places to associate with other similarly refined people. If you enjoy classical music for example, go to the symphony or the ballet or the opera or a performance of a classical artist. In that environment (say at intermission) you can get a drink and visit with other people who appreciate the arts for example. There are beautiful women involved in ballet for example. Volunteer to help at the theatre and you'll get to meet some women who are in incredible shape and who appreciate classical music, the arts, etc.

Hang out where more educated folks hang out if you want to meet more educated folks. Pick a coffee shop near a medical school or a medical center (for example) if you want to meet cerebral types. Go to museums or to art gallery openings. You feel different because you enjoy different things than the peer group you are most often in contact with (who don't share your interests it seems.) That is a simple enough problem to solve. Place yourself around more like-minded people. Not saying ditch your current friends, just cultivate some new ones around the things you are interested in. And if your buddies think that's odd? So what? Shrug your shoulders and tell them you enjoy XYZ and maybe they should join you some time.

Thanks for the input. That's great advice. Totally accepting who I am is gonna be easier said than done, though. That's where the self improvement is gonna come in, I suppose.

 

[Papa_smu]

Thanks for the input. That's great advice. Totally accepting who I am is gonna be easier said than done, though. That's where the self improvement is gonna come in, I suppose.

It isn't supposed to be easy, however only a few rocks turned to diamonds through loads of time and pressure.