Nobody talks about the importance of the emotional connection to speak of here. That's too bad in a way because the best relationships are deeply emotionally connected. And the best sexual experiences derive from this emotional connectivity between two people, something that can deepen and expand through time rather than dry up. But this requires emotional vulnerability and openness, and that is not for sissies. Real vulnerability comes from strength, trust, loyalty and commitment. It comes from a place of giving rather than an opportunistic place.
For all those who go about marriage bashing, the most compelling aspect of a great marriage is this idea of sacred covenant which guards and protects the emotional connection between a man and a woman. That allows sexuality to bloom, friendship to deepen, emotional vulnerability and transparency to flourish, encourages authentic partnership and it is a beautiful thing to see between two people. It is something others can recognize when they see couples who have "it" because it resonates and produces a positive warmth and energy that radiates outward because of the strength of the bond between two people.
Sexual desire is the tip of the iceberg, an invitation to explore who someone is and how they relate to us as individuals. And sexual desire cannot be negotiated. The idea that a man cannot be both the lover and the provider/protector for the woman, and that the woman cannot be the sexual satisfier and the nurturer of the man is false. To believe that these things are mutually exclusive is to give up and settle on many levels, and therefore to have a level of dissatisfaction in relationship. Too much focus on LMS will resign the person who thinks LMS is everything to dissatisfaction in relationship.
And this happens to MANY people.
And before people start screaming about this being total Disney and blue pill...I've SEEN this type of dynamic in couples I know. At least a dozen couples I can think of just sitting here. It is profound and moving to witness, and it permeates everything such a couple does. I've seen it in couples who got together during the innocence of youth, and I've seen it in couples who got together at a more experienced place in life. It's magnificent really.
It's just that it requires a level of vulnerability to embrace this dynamic, and that vulnerability comes either from the innocence of youth or from the self awareness borne of experience. It also requires patience to wait for and patience to next people until you come upon someone who has this possibility unique to ones self. That patience derives from ideals in youth, and in maturity in more life experienced people...and the more hurts a person has experienced in life at the hands of others the harder it is to heal and to grow to a place of emotional wholeness where vulnerability and emotional connection is possible. This is the value in the innocence of youth...if you don't go through the painful hurts and disappointments of failure in relationships you don't have all that "stuff" to heal from...and yet if you do go through pain and disappointment and reach a place of emotional strength and willingness to allow ones self to again be vulnerable, then you understand you are knowingly allowing someone else the opportunity to hurt you...and that has to be OK. Vulnerability requires courage in that case. And then you can connect and love from a place of experience and personal strength, which is an amazing thing.
And none of this deeper dynamic has to do with strictly LMS.