Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Yes, stalking or spying you using family members or friends. Standard operating proceedure there. It can even happen years later. Get ready…
My family and friends already know all about her and don’t like her. so they’re all on the same page, not only do they support my no contact, they demand it. Chick ain’t going to throw me into orbit. While she messes around with a super cuck.
I have 3 BPD's hoovering me right now...the only advice I have for you is that you seem real angry (not good because the BPD demon is in your emotional frame) as long as she stays there you will be tortured daily and NO amount of "no contact" will help you.
You would be amazed at how far it can go. Mine used my adult daughter that doesn’t like my current housemate to spy on me after living under another mans roof for three years. Do Not be surprised by anything these disordered women can and will do…
I am angry. But of course anger is often times a secondary emotion. The girl constantly complained that I liked my car more than her, that I liked my friends more than her, that I liked my job more than her, that I liked my house more than her. Slowly she eroded away my connections to all things that weren’t her. It was so subtle, I didn’t even realize it was happening. Once she got me right where she wanted me, she capsized my ship. So yeah I’m a bit angry. Can’t expect feelings to disappear overnight. But any advice to get that demon out of my frame would be helpful. Thanks
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Trust me. I’ve already been surprised and shocked. The reason I brought up the stalking is because the other night my friend was at the bar accross the street from my house, and saw her there. With her new guy friend. She never ever went to that bar without me, and she knows that’s a spot I like to go to.
She’s not stalking you, she’s painted you black at least temporarily, and trying to put it right back in your face. You’re 9 days out with her, it will take a little longer than it normally would for you to heal up in the aftermath, with a woman of this type…
Yeah well she still doesn’t leave me alone. Emails and calls from blocked numbers every other day. Started out way more aggressive than that. Also I went the entire relationship without emotionally investing until the last two weeks. As soon as I did though she absolutely screwed me over. It was like she used psychology and tricked me into caring.
They are good at reading ones emtions and playing with it. Thats what makes them so dangerous if you dont know what to look out for.
I ****ed up my no contact today and told her to quit messaging me, I’m seeing someone else. She responds “I’m pregnant with new guys baby”. Lol. This **** is just too rich. I have been broken up with her for less than a month.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The end all be all of BPD songs is "Lying Eyes" by the Eagles....."And it breaks her heart to think her love is only given to a man with hands as cold as ice" another good BPD song is "Hold on loosely" by 38 Special "Just hold on loosely but don't let go if you cling to tightly You're gonna lose control"
Well you can consider yourself "high value" allow me to explain... I am speaking from experience here....A true BPD is out of reach for most men.A BPD chooses their targets very carefully,beta men or weak or "clingy" men will not even be considered or make the cut that is why most men will never experience a BPD.I heard a joke once that said the only way to get rid of a true BPD is too send her flowers or express your undying love for her only then will the BPD run for the hills and cancel all future hoovering attempts.BPD's simply can't stand needy men,or men of low value for that matter.A BPD's job (in their mind ) is too find a high value man and destroy him.
She called me last night. Then tried saying that she didn’t call me. Then started sending me pictures of her and the guy she’s with (who by the way is low value in my opinion). ****ing nuts
Well of course he is low value in your opinion
at this point I would just send her a message saying " obviously you have moved on contact me when you are free" then shut up and don't say sh!t start spinning plates...she will contact you when she is ready at that time if you can control your feelings then reengage.I never burn a bridge with a BPD (there is no reason too)Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
