"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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For you guys who complain about online dating

bigdave17

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What the hell else is my option if I'm a late 20s guy living in the suburbs who wants to meet a mid to late 20s woman who is college educated, professional job, no kids, cute and in shape??


It seems like it's mostly single moms, college girls and cougars here. Is online dating not my best chance to be able to meet women while filtering out all the nonsense?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Reykhel

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What the hell else is my option if I'm a late 20s guy living in the suburbs who wants to meet a mid to late 20s woman who is college educated, professional job, no kids, cute and in shape??


It seems like it's mostly single moms, college girls and cougars here. Is online dating not my best chance to be able to meet women while filtering out all the nonsense?
I would be more concerned about your thinking.....

Firstly, posters may experience and then analyse OLD and come to a conclusion (based on their subjective experience and perception...)

You may then interpret this poster's experience and analyses as simply "criticism"......

...when simply it's another man's subjective experience...

sorry what was your question again? what's your option?

what's your sexual strategy? looking for?
 

bigdave17

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I would be more concerned about your thinking.....

Firstly, posters may experience and then analyse OLD and come to a conclusion (based on their subjective experience and perception...)

You may then interpret this poster's experience and analyses as simply "criticism"......

...when simply it's another man's subjective experience...

sorry what was your question again? what's your option?

what's your sexual strategy? looking for?
I want a serious relationship so I'm extremely picky on everything - looks, body, character, intelligence, ability to manage finances, etc...

I don't care about getting laid
 

Reykhel

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I want a serious relationship
Why is this something that you desire? (I respect the fact that it's your desire, but let's examine the reason behind it, no?)

I respect every man's sexual strategy, however the older I get, the less I understand the one you state......explain please why this is your
desire....

I'm extremely picky on everything -
This I get and agree with fully. So you should be. Never drop your standards no matter what your sexual strategy.

I don't care about getting laid
surely you care about sex....
maybe you mean that you don't care about a one night stand?

sex is important
 

bigdave17

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Why is this something that you desire? (I respect the fact that it's your desire, but let's examine the reason behind it, no?)

I respect every man's sexual strategy, however the older I get, the less I understand the one you state......explain please why this is your
desire....


This I get and agree with fully. So you should be. Never drop your standards no matter what your sexual strategy.


surely you care about sex....
maybe you mean that you don't care about a one night stand?

sex is important
Having sex with different women doesn't do anything for me

I want an awesome relationship with a great woman who is attractive, decent financially and genuinely a fantastic person

I don't care about just having sex with random women. Yes I love sex
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ChristopherColumbus

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Yes, but there is another kind of gritty realism that lies on the other side of the romantic divide, which is also the other side of egoism.

This may involve just having to shack up and put up with a woman for life.:D
 

Masculinity

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What the hell else is my option if I'm a late 20s guy living in the suburbs who wants to meet a mid to late 20s woman who is college educated, professional job, no kids, cute and in shape??


It seems like it's mostly single moms, college girls and cougars here. Is online dating not my best chance to be able to meet women while filtering out all the nonsense?
OLD is more focused on pump and dump, as most women there are damaged goods.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Murk

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It's bizarre big dave

On paper I'm a lesser man in every aspect, but somehow I am batting them off with a stick while you're pitched up in a club with your mate scaring and repelling.

You must have some weird vibes or not as good looking as claimed.

Have you asked any female friends/family why this might be?

I was in Ibiza and my ex (hb 9) came up to me, she cold approached me in the club, never had such a HB do this to me, down the line I asked why she did that and she said "you looked cool, your friends looked cool and it look like you were having the time of your life."

We literally got the the club start dancing and drinking amongst ourselves - maybe you give of intimidating, stalker vibes, or angry arrogant vibes.

Yes I get it you're in sales and are a people person (me too), but maybe in a game setting you're trying to hard, mean mugging or just not as relaxed posture as you think?
 

guru1000

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It's easy to see based on the plethora of threads you have created that you are extremely desperate for a compatible woman, which reflects in your energy and sub-communications with women. In your job, you're not desperate as you are consistently achieving sales. Huge distinction here. Combine this desperation with an aura of arrogance and superiority, and many women will be repelled thus rejecting you at first sight as you have reported.

Kill that desperation. Adjust your arrogance by learning humility.

As for OLD, your pics are weak. That's why you get no results. Rate your pics on photofeeler.com. If you are not getting at least 70% attractiveness ratings on your pics across the board, you will have no/little success on OLD. I already gave you advice in how to be an OLD king in another thread. If you elect to ignore my advice because it's too much work, don't complain about your OLD scarcity.
 

marmel75

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I want a serious relationship so I'm extremely picky on everything - looks, body, character, intelligence, ability to manage finances, etc...

I don't care about getting laid
Your first problem is your mindset. That's the mindset a female has.

Men dont get "serious relationships" that way. They get them by banging women and having them chase you until you "agree". I can already see you are going to sabotage this because you will be so desperate for one when the time comes you will pretty much run into the cage, slam the door shut, lock it and then hand her the key...

Which will kill her attraction faster than a fat guy eats a piece of cake.

I'd strongly advise you work on this mindset, you are setting yourself up for failure otherwise.
 

The Duke

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What the hell else is my option if I'm a late 20s guy living in the suburbs who wants to meet a mid to late 20s woman who is college educated, professional job, no kids, cute and in shape??


It seems like it's mostly single moms, college girls and cougars here. Is online dating not my best chance to be able to meet women while filtering out all the nonsense?
I live in a metro area of somewhere around 7million people. From my experience, the hottest and youngest girls all live in the city, not the suburbs. There is one other pocket of suburbia that you will find them in and that's a wealthy/trendy suburb. Most of the suburbs are where all the families/married people live.

Just go where there are shiny/trendy places that sparkle. That's where you find hot girls. They drink at the places where its $12-$15 a glass.

Have you tried higher profile venues? I go to some of the more high dollar bars/lounges in my city and that's where these types congregate. They attract crowds of young professionals.
 

Murk

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As for OLD, your pics are weak. That's why you get no results. Rate your pics on photofeeler.com. If you are not getting at least 70% attractiveness ratings on your pics across the board, you will have no/little success on OLD.
How have I never heard of this website before!?

I stuck a pic up this morning to see and so far have 7 ratings from women only:

Attractive:
No: 1
Somewhat: 2
Yes: 0
Very: 4

Bit of a mixed bag - 7 votes isn't enough to make an opinion but I'll defo be uploading more pics for some unbiased opinions. Great shout Guru!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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