Can you fall for the rebound?

[vanballmoos]

I've been having a debate with my brother over rebounds and keeping an ex on social media.

I was really in love with my ex. She's the first person I've ever thought about marriage with. Even imagined what our kids would look like. Never loved anyone as much as I've loved her.

She broke up with me. she wanted to reconcile a few weeks later but I was just so pissed with her. I told her I was happy and moved on. I ended up messaging her 20 mins later after she left. Then another message 40 min. later. Then another one 1.5 hrs. later. Messaged her the next day too and she finally responded. I responded to her. She didn't respond. I sent her another message 12 hrs. later. Again, she didn't respond.I was just venting about the breakup in my messages. Then a few weeks ago I sent her a message saying this is hard for me.

I still have her on social media and will and still will look at her Snapchat. I even liked a pucture that she posted this morning. According to my brother that means I still want something from her, but I’m just not being honest with myself. I've kept all my exes on social media so why would this one be any different? It’s just social media. If you like the content of the post you’re going to like it-it shouldn’t matter who the source is, ex or not.

To get back on topic, I recently have had had a few dates with this really hot chick. She's nice and we vibe. I snapped/took a video of my food and got the date in the snap/video. My best friend is convinced that I did that on purpose to hurt my ex's feelings/make her jealous. He said that I'm clearly not interested in her for me to have done that. Explaining that if I'm using her to make the ex jealous and fill a void I'll just never be interested in her like that because it would've happened from the beginning. I don't agree. I believe void fillers/distractions can grow on you.

What are your thoughts?

1. Does he have a point about the rebound? 2. Is he right that looking at an ex’s Snapchat and liking their post in a recent breakup means you still want something with them?

 

[marmel75]

Who cares what he thinks and I would never ever use snapchat in my life.

 

[chris2for]

Yes someone can fall for the rebound, but it sounds like you can’t right now.

You just liked a picture of hers and you’re still looking at her Snapchat, which you know she can see that you were looking. I see what you said to her, but your actions speak otherwise. Seems like you’re very much still emotionally attached to her, so I guess that’s why your brother said you can’t like the rebound right now.

 

[vanballmoos]

Yes someone can fall for the rebound, but it sounds like you can’t right now.

You just liked a picture of hers and you’re still looking at her Snapchat, which you know she can see that you were looking. I see what you said to her, but your actions speak otherwise. Seems like you’re very much still emotionally attached to her, so I guess that’s why your brother said you can’t like the rebound right now.

Yea but it’s just social media. So you’re telling me that after every breakup if love is still there and you like her pictures and looking at her stuff it means I’m still attached? That’s news to me.

 

[chris2for]

Yea but it’s just social media. So you’re telling me that after every breakup if love is still there and you like her pictures and looking at her stuff it means I’m still attached? That’s news to me.

Hell yea. For you it’s more than curiosity too. You don’t have to like her pictures but you’re choosing to do that instead of just acknowledging it and keep scrolling by it.

 

[PokerStar]

Yea but it’s just social media. So you’re telling me that after every breakup if love is still there and you like her pictures and looking at her stuff it means I’m still attached? That’s news to me.

delete her social media or everything that has to do with her if you want to move on with your life. just warning you. let me ask you this, will you still like her pictures if she posted one with her new BF?

 

[RedScorpion]

Yea but it’s just social media. So you’re telling me that after every breakup if love is still there and you like her pictures and looking at her stuff it means I’m still attached? That’s news to me.

Why don't you tell us if you're still attached or not? We're not judging. This forum is for getting to the truth and heart of the matters at hand, not playing "I'm cool, I'm strong and over her". We don't care if you are or not - but I'd advise to be open, for the best benefit for yourself.

 

[chris2for]

Why don't you tell us if you're still attached or not? We're not judging. This forum is for getting to the truth and heart of the matters at hand, not playing "I'm cool, I'm strong and over her". We don't care if you are or not - but I'd advise to be open, for the best benefit for yourself.

Exactly. From the outside looking in with limited info we know why you’re still all on her social media. You just have to be honest with yourself.

 

[vanballmoos]

delete her social media or everything that has to do with her if you want to move on with your life. just warning you. let me ask you this, will you still like her pictures if she posted one with her new BF?

I like the pictures of my ex and her new boyfriend from a few years ago

 

[vanballmoos]

Why don't you tell us if you're still attached or not? We're not judging. This forum is for getting to the truth and heart of the matters at hand, not playing "I'm cool, I'm strong and over her". We don't care if you are or not - but I'd advise to be open, for the best benefit for yourself.

Let me put it this way when she wanted to reconcile and I said I was happy and moved on, I wanted to stay but just couldn’t and I told her that when I was messaging her.

 

[PokerStar]

I like the pictures of my ex and her new boyfriend from a few years ago

did you really "like it" because you are happy for her or did you "like it" to keep yourself in the loop?

 

[chris2for]

Let me put it this way when she wanted to reconcile and I said I was happy and moved on, I wanted to stay but just couldn’t and I told her that when I was messaging her.

So you two ended things with still wanting to be together but for whatever reason couldn’t? Well **** that makes the breakup all the worse and probably will take a lot longer to get over. It’s not like someone cheated or you lost interest-which actually make it easier to get over. Kind of confirms my suspicion that you’re still very emotionally attached.

If I had to bet money I’d say you still want to be with her but you’re forcing yourself to leave it alone. Look if you still love the girl and nothing bad happened just go fix it. Nothing to lose.

 

[chris2for]

did you really "like it" because you are happy for her or did you "like it" to keep yourself in the loop?

I think it’s okay to like an ex’s picture if you guys had been broken up for years. The difference here is OP just told this new ex last month he was struggling with the breakup and is liking her pics. That’s way different than an ex from years ago.

 

[vanballmoos]

I think it’s okay to like an ex’s picture if you guys had been broken up for years. The difference here is OP just told this new ex last month he was struggling with the breakup and is liking her pics. That’s way different than an ex from years ago.

Yea I did say that a month ago, but that’s enough time to have passed where liking her stuff doesn’t mean anything.