"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Correct way to ask a woman out on a second date

Mazer

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Hey guys,

I went out on a first date On Tuesday, had a great time, kiss closed, makeoutage, she told me that she was addicted to my lips which is always nice to hear. Anyway, I contacted her on Thursday evening to see what she was up to this weekend. I already knew she had plans for Friday. She responded with that she might possibly be visiting a friend of hers who is housesitting on Sat but she isn't sure if she is going to do it or not. Is this her way of telling me that she wants me to ask her out on Saturday night but she is afraid coming off as a woman who has nothing to do on a Saturday night? Is this a green light or should I schedule something for the following Friday? Any help is appreciated.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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marmel75

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Don't overthink things. Do what YOU want to, not what you think SHE wants you to do. That being said, I RARELY would entertain a second date within the same week for a new chick...too many things can go the wrong way...

Personally, I'd converse with her briefly a few times over the course of the weekend, and set something up for next week. Seeing a chick very soon after a first date is not a good thing for a guy...it lets the woman know whe is very high on their option list and/or they have no options.
 

Trump

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I contacted her on Thursday evening to see what she was up to this weekend. I already knew she had plans for Friday. She responded with that she might possibly be visiting a friend of hers who is housesitting on Sat but she isn't sure if she is going to do it or not. Is this her way of telling me that she wants me to ask her out on Saturday night but she is afraid coming off as a woman who has nothing to do on a Saturday night?
Possibly.

Or it could be she is very in love with you.

Or it could be waiting for her 6'1 boyfriend to call her for Saturday night.

Is this a green light or should I schedule something for the following Friday? Any help is appreciated.
Friday is too long. She will forget you by then. Schedule for Saturday.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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I just had a coffee date with a Chinese lady. I find the second date usually organically organizes itself during the first date as it did in this case. That said, I always avoid the appearance of being too eager to lock down a second date... it should just happen naturally in the course of the conversation.
 

MrJack

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Hey guys,

I went out on a first date On Tuesday, had a great time, kiss closed, makeoutage, she told me that she was addicted to my lips which is always nice to hear. Anyway, I contacted her on Thursday evening to see what she was up to this weekend. I already knew she had plans for Friday. She responded with that she might possibly be visiting a friend of hers who is housesitting on Sat but she isn't sure if she is going to do it or not. Is this her way of telling me that she wants me to ask her out on Saturday night but she is afraid coming off as a woman who has nothing to do on a Saturday night? Is this a green light or should I schedule something for the following Friday? Any help is appreciated.
If it's a new girl set it up for a weekday.

The weekend you are too busy for her (even if you aren't) at least in the early stages.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Mazer

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Thanks everyone. We ended up hanging out last Saturday and she contacted me 48 hours, on Monday, after our date. She def has high interest. I set something up for Tuesday night and she happily agreed, we had an awesome time, a lot of Kino. She loves that I am very touchy feely with her, never underestimate Kino! She was setting up a fourth date on our third date, mention that on our next date I should pick her up at her place, hopefully I can seal the deal on the fourth date. Feels good to have women chasing you, not going to lie! haha
 

Mazer

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Here is an update!

She texted me yesterday, sent me a kiss emoji lol. I texted her back three hours later asking how work was going. 24 hours has gone by and I have yet to receive a response. We met on Bumble and today I noticed she deleted our conversation. I dont understand women at all. She was engaged eight months ago and broke it off because her fiance wasnt ready to commit. Anyway, sounds like I was a rebound. I have been a rebound twice this year and I am getting tired of the bull****. My problem is I seem to get along very well with girls that have been in LTR. My question is should I contact her again , wait a few days, or just forget about her?
 

hockeyfreak79

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Bumble chicks are really no different than tinder ones. Sounds like you could of hit it on the 3rd date. Shít you probably could have on the 1st. I've had recent plates that had shítty phones and they legitimately didn't receive texts. Don't put your eggs all in 1 basket, keep talking to other woman.
 

Serenity

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She texted me yesterday, sent me a kiss emoji lol.
The "lol" at the end of that made me cringe.

You sent the last text, she didn't respond. Sending another one never leads to any good if you sent the last text. Waiting and then sending a text is the same story, you sent the last text so now the ball is in her court. So the best option is forget her, although I wouldn't call it exactly that. What I used to do is let time tell, if she gets back in touch I would pick up where it left off, but I'd assume that would never happen and move on.

It's just been a day though, that's relatively short. With the amount of sh!tty dating advice out there you must factor that possibility in and grow some patience. Even on this site guys advise waiting X amount of time before they reply, this advice is abundant on the female side of dating too.

Could be something like that or she may just have lost interest. Time will tell.
In the case she lost interest though it might be because of the most boring question ever "how is work going?". It's fine to ask in person, but over text it kills the suspense between dates and thus also their interest.
 

icantgetlaid

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I was surprised there was a 2nd and 3rd date based on her response to your 2nd date offer.

when a first date goes well .. at least in my case .. girls are super eager to be available for a 2nd ... they wouldn't be adding weird obstacles like "maybe i am or not available this weekend" after that comment i would have let her do the chasing/initiating to gauge if it was worth it to invest anymore of your time.

i've been on first dates where the chick literally begged me to stay with her telling me im the best guy ever only to be bailed on/get ghosted by the same chick later in the week when following up for a 2nd date.

it's a sh1tty feeling .. but it's part of the game.

this is why it's important to have many options/potential dates lined up with a variety of women so that you let the girls do the chasing always.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DonDraper7

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Here is an update!

She texted me yesterday, sent me a kiss emoji lol. I texted her back three hours later asking how work was going. 24 hours has gone by and I have yet to receive a response. We met on Bumble and today I noticed she deleted our conversation. I dont understand women at all. She was engaged eight months ago and broke it off because her fiance wasnt ready to commit. Anyway, sounds like I was a rebound. I have been a rebound twice this year and I am getting tired of the bull****. My problem is I seem to get along very well with girls that have been in LTR. My question is should I contact her again , wait a few days, or just forget about her?
Don't contact her again. You sent the last text, so it's up to her to respond. If she responds whenever just act aloof ,don't show her that you were/are upset. And if she doesn't respond just go on about your life and don't give a damn. Don't go crazy thinking "Why didn't she text me back?", because this type of stuff happens all the time: lost interest, using for validation, met another dude etc etc.
 
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