Does spinning plates ever really cure oneitis?

[Victimothy]

We as DJ's are advised to spin plates at all times, but is it simply running away from ever truly connecting with anyone?

Does spinning plates really ever cure oneitis or is it just a Band-Aid of denying the pain and longing to have connected to that one chick?

IMO spinning plates is great if you have nothing else going on in life but to juggle women (if that's even remotely possible as people can barely maintain contact with family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, etc.) Besides what actually counts as "spinning plates"? Is it just approaching random chicks? Is it just knowing them? Or is it maintain a harem? And if it's the latter how does one manage to get anything else done? There's talking, texting, remembering names, remembering what you talked about etc.

No people just come in and out of your life on a weekly rotating basis that you could even count as "plates" like most do women. Even if they constantly did what's the point?

Plate spinning seems like the snake oil advice that not only isn't realistic but is sold to others because the dude who gives that sort of advice doesn't really have anything else going on in life but "spinning plates" depending on what "spinning plates" actually is for them. Seems more like a social outcasts advice who cannot connect with anyone on a deeper level than simply meeting other people and both disappearing into thin air. IF they are even doing THAT.

 

[resilient]

Do you have a plate obsession? Simple. Just keep smashing them and carry on about your Don Juan lifestyle.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

We call it spinning plates, woman call it "dating". And then some woman will call them "just a friend/FWB" because in the beginning it's really none of your business who they are fvcking. If they are good looking and horny then yeah you better believe they have at least a f buddy. Even 5's have orbiters or guys trying to f them.

In the beginning they are prospects, once you have sex regularly with them they become a plate. Just because you have sex with a woman doesn't mean you have to immediately become "monogamous". Yeah some woman will spout this BS but it's just that.

Hypergamy is a bítch. I've managed multiple plates, had time for friends and still had time for hockey & down time for myself. It does make time fly by, especially if you are having fun doing it. I don't care really if you have onetis anyway. That word is throw around to guys that come here with issues in current RL's were they are being treated like garbage and they don't dump when they should.

Now as for the whole connecting on a deeper level yeah I thought I had that a few times and boy was I wrong! Ha, IMO that's fairytale romantic notions. On top of that it's really not needed in life. Pay attention to womans actions NOT the words that come out of her mouth.

The majority of my plates probably expire any were from the 60-90 day range. It's pretty rare these days if anything last longer than that.

 

[Reykhel]

We call it spinning plates, woman call it "dating".

Exactly. A lot of game is simply realizing that women are playing us and effectively, turning the tables.

Example: instead of putting her on a pedestal you simply make yourself the prize. Instead of playing the "good guy" that society lauds you to play as a social construct (i.e. playing the monogamy as a goal mindset simply because your convinced that's what she wants and how society will view you as a modern man, you do what she does........and covertly spin plates thus having multiple options)

The list goes on....

 

[Reykhel]

We as DJ's are advised to spin plates at all times, but is it simply running away from ever truly connecting with anyone?

I want to believe this too. What does it mean to truly connect with someone though? Does it mean being monogamous and tying yourself down to the one woman as you're implying? Or does making a connection mean being present in ever fvcking waking moment?

Regardless, everything ends. Every one night stand, every relationship, every marriage, every fvck buddy.....ENDS.

"connect" as you see fit. Just because you're safe and snug in the woolly comfort of a long term relationship does not mean you are making a human connection. This is delusion defined. Delusion defined. Some relationships are god damn awful unhappy. A trap. A snar. A daily death.

Times have changed. People no longer have the same values. Some people are not worth connecting to.

That's possible tragic. But it is what it is. Social media has a lot to answer for. And the breakdown of the traditional family.

 

[Roober]

It helps when you are ready. When done too early, it is more of a bandaid. Regardless though, she will always be a part of you... Unfortunately

 

[Victimothy]

I want to believe this too. What does it mean to truly connect with someone though? Does it mean being monogamous and tying yourself down to the one woman as you're implying? Or does making a connection mean being present in ever fvcking waking moment?

Regardless, everything ends. Every one night stand, every relationship, every marriage, every fvck buddy.....ENDS.

"connect" as you see fit. Just because you're safe and snug in the woolly comfort of a long term relationship does not mean you are making a human connection. This is delusion defined. Delusion defined. Some relationships are god damn awful unhappy. A trap. A snar. A daily death.

Times have changed. People no longer have the same values. Some people are not worth connecting to.

That's possible tragic. But it is what it is. Social media has a lot to answer for. And the breakdown of the traditional family.

Sounds like a litany of excuse making to me.

Might as well run away from family and long time friends then because nothing lasts. Spin "family plates and friends" because everybody ends.

 

[Reykhel]

Sounds like a litany of excuse making to me.

That's simply because of where your level of understanding is at.

Might as well run away from family and long time friends then because nothing lasts

Stoic and zen talk in fact. Nothing could be further from what you have understood...

Realizing the end makes you so much more present and attentive.

 

[Victimothy]

That's simply because of where your level of understanding is at.



Stoic and zen talk in fact. Nothing could be further from what you have understood...

Realizing the end makes you so much more present and attentive.

No it makes you a coward trying to run from the same feelings we are all born with. You are simply afraid to connect on a deeper level. Not all connections are the same.

 

[Reykhel]

No it makes you a coward trying to run from the same feelings we are all born with

That's quite a judgement.

Shall I judge you back? What's the point....I see exactly where you're coming from.

Here's a thread that's on the exact theme. Be sure to send your opinion. Discussion and communication is the goal:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/what-is-there-to-get-over.241398/

 

[hockeyfreak79]

No it makes you a coward trying to run from the same feelings we are all born with. You are simply afraid to connect on a deeper level. Not all connections are the same.

Explain this "connecting" on a deeper level that you describe. Are you referring to pair bonding...? The real question is are you really a 47yr man?

 

[Three]

@Victimothy - your question sounds like it's coming from an honest place. I'm in an LTR right now, but I believe the honest answer to your question, is, yes, spinning plates does help cure oneitis. After my last couple LTRs ended, that got me my man card back and that helped pull me up out of the dumps. I would say spinning plates and working on yourself is critical to curing oneitis.

As for running from emotional connection, @deesade's description is about as good as I can come up with. And that requires that you never stop working on yourself. If you're on a constant quest to better yourself in every way you can think of, you will have a vastly better chance of touching that place deep inside a quality woman, or any woman for that matter. That's the real answer.

 

[RangerMIke]

What the OP calls 'Oneitis' is just a man thinking TOO much about one chick. When you do this your brain starts putting sh!t in long term memory, which tricks your mind into believing that a long term connection exists. This is a purely male biological imperative... it causes men to connect with a chick because without the man... in pre-history, she would be little more than food for some beast. So the human race, developed to that men would be so emotionally connected to one chick that he would risk his life to protect her.

Chicks don't have this problem... they really do not bond with a dude, unless that dude is meeting their needs. She will naturally bond with anyone with a penis provided he is her best chance of success. When a chick says "How can you love me? You don't even know me?" She is right... she CAN NOT understand this, because this is not the way a chick brain works. She has to FIRST find out that you meet her needs, she can not do this without knowing a man. This means chicks CAN NOT be loyal.... it is not in their DNA.

Mother nature tricks men into sacrificing for chicks.

The ONLY way to avoid thinking too much about any one chick is to have more than one to worry about. That way... instinctually, you are not biologically compelled to risk yourself saving any one of them, so what is called "Oneitis" never happens. The fewer your options, the more compelled you will be to protect what you have.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Victi, just go ahead and have a deep connection with women and tell me how you feel 3-5-10yrs later
so beta white knight...

Meanwhile, I'll be over there, dipping deep into them with my D and just acknowledging what a women really is.
And we can go have a beer after you will have be used and abused then tossed away like a useless piece of trash by the chick you had such a deep connection with when hypergamy reality hits and oneitis invades you, again.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I cured my oneitis obsession after I banged 10 hotter chicks and then with adrenaline running through my veins I broke no contact and I started back and forthing and realised she is exactly like all the other girls and not a princess on a pedestal, which I made her in my head during No Contact.

After that text and voice convo the magic was completely gone, the adrenaline was gone, nothing left, she wanted to meet me but I just couldn't be bothered to go, funny because I was dying to meet her for months.
Instead I went to a plate and watched a movie and didn't think about my onetitis.

 

[Trump]

I love guys who have oneitis. Same girl would make you homeless and spit on your grave so fast if she could.

Why do men always want to connect with a woman? Are we lacking male friends? We don't want sex? It makes no sense to me.

I want to be great for society and have sex with every beautiful woman I see. If they want to connect, they have to put in the effort. I could care less if I connected, much rather sleep with her.

 

[Fruitbat]

Every single study on planet earth shows that monogomous relationships are enormously beneficial to children.

This is what they are for. It isn't a social construct. If the successful raising of offspring is a social construct then fair enough. It isn't what "the media" or whatnot want. It's been known since the dawn of time.

The list of great men who have had solid one-timers is absolutely endless. Affairs happen. It is not for anyone to suggest one person should sleep with only one in a lifetime. Nor try partners. However, I believe it is sincerely immature to wish to live a teenage lifestyle of self-satisfaction. Each to their own.

Some people are unable to pair bond, mainly due to childhood trauma. They have not moved through a developmental stage correctly and view other human beings as items for their amusement. Much of PUA is purely narcissists being narcissists. They get off on the conquest, and enjoy the upset it causes women. Enjoy winning the game. Thankfully for the sake of the human race, many men are willing to raise the next generation of children, as did our forefathers which built our respective nations.

The feminists and PUA have a lot in common - they both wish to break down the family unit, for different reasons. In the end, both will eat our society inside out. There is what I would term "fake masculinity" on the rise - take no responsibility, please oneself, have no regard for the consequences and make no contribution to society. This is almost dancing to the tune of feminism, because it was 2nd and 3rd wave feminist which robbed us of positive masculinity and characaturised us as savages. Cavemen. Resist this. It is not what it means to be a man.

Back to the OP, Oneitus is merely a natural human reaction to curtailed bonding, It is driven from a place of fear. Spinning plates may or may not be the right thing to do, I find at the initial stage of a breakup it is depressing.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Unfortunately, reality isn't all nice unicorns and rainbows and humans adapt... this is what the manosphere is about to me.
The judicial system is rigged against men so the whole bonding thing just doesn't end up well for men in general hence us recommending NOT to bond although we all want.
You have to have a more realistic approach to ensure your happiness. How many bonded couples do you see out there? I mostly see miserable dudes trapped, then used and abused. That's the reality.

So oneitis is one of the thing that will make you real unhappy and the best cure is indeed to spin plates.
No need to use women as objects or do harmful things to them but gotta stay realistic and protect your back.

 

[wifehunter]

once you're hooked...the only way is to distract yourself with something else. other chickies, passions, hobbies, careers, vacations, etc.

If she was trash, you'll get over her easily with time.

If she was gold...yeah, right!

So, no problem.

 

[Dr.Suave]

The only thing that takes my mind off from oneitis is taking an expensive vacation. The problem is I can only take 1-3 of those a year.