Never listen to a word they say simply sit back and OBSERVE

[ChristopherColumbus]

This impatience to bed a woman on the first date is counter-productive in the long term. You're just setting yourself up to be forever running around after something novel. Better to slow it down, screen the spinners out, and find a woman with a bit of substance to her.

 

[Epicurus]

Epicurus says “I don’t struggle to bed women on the first date and words don’t mean much.”
Desperate you are they scream. What a loser who even does that. Always trying to bed women on the first date. Weirdo. Low quality. Impatience

 

[Urbanyst]

This impatience to bed a woman on the first date is counter-productive in the long term. You're just setting yourself up to be forever running around after something novel. Better to slow it down, screen the spinners out, and find a woman with a bit of substance to her.

Blue pill.

Code for: "Let women control the timetable, compromise what you want, and waste loads of your time and energy on something that might not lead to anything".

I don't need to bed a woman on the first or second date. But we need to kiss pretty early in the relationship, otherwise I start doubting her interest. If she has other uses outside of a sexual relationship I might entertain being her friend for a while, but few women do.

 

[Trump]

This impatience to bed a woman on the first date is counter-productive in the long term. You're just setting yourself up to be forever running around after something novel. Better to slow it down, screen the spinners out, and find a woman with a bit of substance to her.

Two different issues.

Sex on the first date does not mean substance and has nothing to do with long term. Substance does not mean waiting for sex.

The man has to let the woman know he is attracted right away and wants to have sex with her, like ordering French Fries at a restaurant: To wait and wait and wait on her timetable gives her control and power, what she craves, and makes you a fool.

 

[ubercat]

On a first date I give them the respect they earn. If is an intelligent engaging woman with a bit of femininity happy to let matters play out over time. If she's pretty but vacuous or annoying I might just take my profit on the night as there isn't going to be a second meeting.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Blue pill.

Code for: "Let women control the timetable, compromise what you want, and waste loads of your time and energy on something that might not lead to anything".

I don't need to bed a woman on the first or second date. But we need to kiss pretty early in the relationship, otherwise I start doubting her interest. If she has other uses outside of a sexual relationship I might entertain being her friend for a while, but few women do.

Well, I tend to say 'a curse on both houses' to all such binary opposites as blue pill/ red pill [blue pill = overly socialized/ domesticated... red pill = overly naturalized/ physicalist]. They smack of ideology which always looks to simplify things. The reality is you have to apply your own practical and spontaneous judgement to the matter at hand.

Along the 'all things in moderation' route, and looking for a middle ground between the two extremes - I'd agree with you that the connection has to be sexually charged from the get-go. However, personally, I prefer to hold that charge for a bit, to see if the tension builds or fizzles... obviously, I have in mind here the quality of the connection as opposed to maximizing the quantity of 'connections'. I simply can not by bothered chasing dizzy girls.. it would make me... dizzy.

There is an ideality in all of this that is often lacking in the more 'realist' conversations. But this other aspect is crucial, as all the frustrated comments on this forum continue to testify to.

 

[wifehunter]

multitasking space...give her the space to fall in love...while you screen for QUALITY.

Two birds, one stone.

 

[WitnessGR]

On a first date I give them the respect they earn. If is an intelligent engaging woman with a bit of femininity happy to let matters play out over time. If she's pretty but vacuous or annoying I might just take my profit on the night as there isn't going to be a second meeting.

This is how I approach it, if the woman seems well together, i can go on 2-3 dates before the sex. Like deesede said, there has to be some affirmation of attraction, if not then it is probably a waste of time. It starts with me me stating that i am interested in sexual relations (shoutout to bill clinton). Much lime the stock market, some stocks are buy and hold some are just day trades.. all depends on the woman

 

[Urbanyst]

Well, I tend to say 'a curse on both houses' to all such binary opposites as blue pill/ red pill [blue pill = overly socialized/ domesticated... red pill = overly naturalized/ physicalist]. They smack of ideology which always looks to simplify things. The reality is you have to apply your own practical and spontaneous judgement to the matter at hand.

Along the 'all things in moderation' route, and looking for a middle ground between the two extremes - I'd agree with you that the connection has to be sexually charged from the get-go. However, personally, I prefer to hold that charge for a bit, to see if the tension builds or fizzles... obviously, I have in mind here the quality of the connection as opposed to maximizing the quantity of 'connections'. I simply can not by bothered chasing dizzy girls.. it would make me... dizzy.

There is an ideality in all of this that is often lacking in the more 'realist' conversations. But this other aspect is crucial, as all the frustrated comments on this forum continue to testify to.

I hear ya.

But how has that been working out for you? Are you getting higher quality relationships than other men on this forum? Have you found a serious LTR with a quality woman you can trust?

 

[QuadDeuces]

Of course you listen to what they say.

If she start ranting about a cheating scumbag ex, how her father was a POS and about her short marriage to get a first world passport or that time that she used to go on XTC benders and had anal sex with strangers, you listen closely to every word they say.

You only don't listen to the last part when they say "But I have changed, now I'm looking for a long term relationship with a nice guy" Thats the only part you don't listen to.

 

[sosousage]

More then you, that's for certain!

IMO only low quality men make it a point to look to bed chicks on the first date. I don't begrudge any man of his desires. If sexing up a stranger is your cup of tea, then have at it.

Myself... Any man who tries to move on me that quickly has just showed me that he is sometime who has no self respect, self value, serious esteem issues, etc. It's low class and trashy behavior from both sexes. I'm looking for better calibur, better quality.

They are well below my league. I move on and don't look back.

is it waiting league?

 

[resilient]

You only don't listen to the last part when they say "But I have changed [nope... ], now I'm looking for a long-term relationship with a nice guy" That's the only part you don't listen to.

Exactly. They talk/hint at wanting something different after complaining about the results she's dated thus far, yet that doesn't change who or what type she latches onto and continues to attract.

I talked to this chick last weekend at a bonfire and after some chitter chatter, she vomited about the ex and issues she had with him. I worked on changing subjects, yet she circled back to the ex. I got turned off and bounced to a different set.

 

[The Duke]

More then you, that's for certain!

IMO only low quality men make it a point to look to bed chicks on the first date. I don't begrudge any man of his desires. If sexing up a stranger is your cup of tea, then have at it.

Myself... Any man who tries to move on me that quickly has just showed me that he is sometime who has no self respect, self value, serious esteem issues, etc. It's low class and trashy behavior from both sexes. I'm looking for better calibur, better quality.

They are well below my league. I move on and don't look back.

You are projecting a bit here. This is a man's forum. A guy who nails a chic on a first date is applauded by other males. Never will his peers conclude that he lacks self respect, is low value, or has low self esteem. Now if he waits 5-6dates to nail her, you can bet he will be looked down upon by men with better skills and more alpha qualities.

 

[sosousage]

You are projecting a bit here. This is a man's forum. A guy who nails a chic on a first date is applauded by other males. Never will his peers conclude that he lacks self respect, is low value, or has low self esteem. Now if he waits 5-6dates to nail her, you can bet he will be looked down upon by men with better skills and more alpha qualities.

or maybe he was just dating wrong chick

 

[ubercat]

What I am curious about guys is the Longevity of the relationship when you thought the girl was worth pursuing and you banged her on the first night.

Now my particular hell in my 30s was that I had player moves but AFC mindset and thought any attraction from a pretty girl was wonderful so I didn't screen and ended up with a succession of useless chicks.

So you could definitely say the quality wasn't there apart from looks.

However the question still stands. I found through various psychological tricks I could get a lot of girls to put out on the first date but it seems to mess with their heads and fizzled out a few dates in. Now this is different from the I don't normally do this speech that you always get from Hardened slvts. IThese were girls I genuinely believed normally didn't do this. It was like their ASD came back twice as hard and damaged them. I got to the point where if I liked the girl I purposely would not sleep with her on the first date. Weirdly enough second date seems to be fine in their heads are not quite sure what the big difference is.

Has anyone experienced similar?

 

[Billtx49]

Some women it’s on 2, others 3. Over 3, bye bye. The most promiscious woman I was ever with wouldn’t do it on 1.

 

[The Duke]

What I am curious about guys is the Longevity of the relationship when you thought the girl was worth pursuing and you banged her on the first night.

Now my particular hell in my 30s was that I had player moves but AFC mindset and thought any attraction from a pretty girl was wonderful so I didn't screen and ended up with a succession of useless chicks.

So you could definitely say the quality wasn't there apart from looks.

However the question still stands. I found through various psychological tricks I could get a lot of girls to put out on the first date but it seems to mess with their heads and fizzled out a few dates in. Now this is different from the I don't normally do this speech that you always get from Hardened slvts. IThese were girls I genuinely believed normally didn't do this. It was like their ASD came back twice as hard and damaged them. I got to the point where if I liked the girl I purposely would not sleep with her on the first date. Weirdly enough second date seems to be fine in their heads are not quite sure what the big difference is.

Has anyone experienced similar?

I went almost 5yrs with a girl I nailed on the second date. She was a solid girl. To this day whenever I see her, she always reminds me that I nailed her on the 2nd date. lol. You can tell it still bothers her. Thru out our relationship she would mention it bothered her as well. She has low partner count.

 

[lizardking82]

Worrying about how long it takes you to have sex with her is useless. You take it one meeting at a time. I have this simple ideology: "Is there progress in this time compared to last time? If no, be careful. If yes, we're good." As long as there is progress towards the panties, no need to worry about anything. It could happen on date 1, on date 3 or on date 7. Some girls are highly attracted to you and will open up quicker, some others will need a bit more time out of a plethora of reasons.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I hear ya.

But how has that been working out for you? Are you getting higher quality relationships than other men on this forum? Have you found a serious LTR with a quality woman you can trust?

As long as I am continuing to meet women, I think it is working out well enough. Sooner or later, I'll meet someone that suits me. I have four dates organized so far this week.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Worrying about how long it takes you to have sex with her is useless. You take it one meeting at a time. I have this simple ideology: "Is there progress in this time compared to last time? If no, be careful. If yes, we're good." As long as there is progress towards the panties, no need to worry about anything. It could happen on date 1, on date 3 or on date 7. Some girls are highly attracted to you and will open up quicker, some others will need a bit more time out of a plethora of reasons.

Yes, there is this. There is also the subjective parameters, whereby a man may decide his own model to put in practice. It's not like there should be some objective orthodoxy, where everyone must hurtle along in 4th gear. Call me a Sunday driver, but each to their own.