You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Payoff is well worth it. Hint: the payoff is not women.Oh, well I'm not down playing self improvement overall. The context is this warped and imbalanced dating market, there is zero reason to tailor your improvement to it's demands because the payoff just isn't worth it.
Society is designed to have you approach the woman, that's why. And if you don't approach, someone else will. The rules are screwed up, I'll admit but a handful of people refusing to approach isn't going to change anything. You'll simply be left out. Yes, you may have some drop into your lap and some women who do that but the majority don't and they don't because they know they don't have to, pure and simple. If you could come up with a play by play setup that short circuits that mentality, you sir, have a blueprint for being a billionaire.I'm not approaching girls anymore..
- I work out, most girls don't.
- No I don't have a high status job but I have 3 jobs and I work about 75 hrs a week. I'm ok financially ..
-I keep myself extremely well groomed
- I buy top shelf cologne and apply 2x a day for the smelling pleasure of others.
-I dress well, and make sure to coordinate.
-I'm well read and well spoken.
-Ill never be a male model or have 6 pack abs because I like buffalo wings too much but you can definitely tell I work out and I know I'm stronger than 97% of men walking around..
-I'm book and street smart. We can discus Hellenistic philosophy, or I can tell you what neighborhood to get Percocet in..
-I have no kids
-Never wed.
-Me and my room mate have a sweet ass bachelor pad..
-I know I'm amazing at sex.. Its mind blowingly good
I'm not bragging.. I'm stating facts.
Why the f*ck am I approaching females?
Shouldn't they be approaching me?
I mean you date me I generally gain nothing.. Sex.
But I could pay for high priced escorts that's a 9 in my eyes that would be cheaper than 2 dates with an average looking girl..
You gain at the very least a decent free meal and drinks and so much more if I like you..
So ... Why should I approach girls again?
Unless the IOIs are blatant I'm just not doing it anymore..
I feel like 9/10 girls I'm really the prize and the prize shouldnt have to do the work.
And I know this post sounds very narcissistic
but its truly how I feel lately.
I don't agree with your post, but I'll ask...As @da dynamically said "The purpose of self improvement in this new game is just to better serve women"
Its to look at differing viewpoints on women. When I find myself slipping, I come back here and often re-read.The thing you (and others) should understand is that not everyone here is involuntarily celibate. I came here to become better with women (and people) in general, not because I cant get laid.
What's you reason(s) for being here, just out of interest?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That's not serving them.You provide women with a more valuable - but no less disposable - partner
I don't see anything wrong with how you feel. But the reality is (as I've stated before on these here forums) is that we are NOT THE PRIZE. I know this is what Sosuave wants you to think, but we are NOT the prize, doesn't matter how good we look, how much money we have, nor how good our personalities are...........the women of this market are the controllers of this market.I'm not approaching girls anymore..
- I work out, most girls don't.
- No I don't have a high status job but I have 3 jobs and I work about 75 hrs a week. I'm ok financially ..
-I keep myself extremely well groomed
- I buy top shelf cologne and apply 2x a day for the smelling pleasure of others.
-I dress well, and make sure to coordinate.
-I'm well read and well spoken.
-Ill never be a male model or have 6 pack abs because I like buffalo wings too much but you can definitely tell I work out and I know I'm stronger than 97% of men walking around..
-I'm book and street smart. We can discus Hellenistic philosophy, or I can tell you what neighborhood to get Percocet in..
-I have no kids
-Never wed.
-Me and my room mate have a sweet ass bachelor pad..
-I know I'm amazing at sex.. Its mind blowingly good
I'm not bragging.. I'm stating facts.
Why the f*ck am I approaching females?
Shouldn't they be approaching me?
I mean you date me I generally gain nothing.. Sex.
But I could pay for high priced escorts that's a 9 in my eyes that would be cheaper than 2 dates with an average looking girl..
You gain at the very least a decent free meal and drinks and so much more if I like you..
So ... Why should I approach girls again?
Unless the IOIs are blatant I'm just not doing it anymore..
I feel like 9/10 girls I'm really the prize and the prize shouldnt have to do the work.
And I know this post sounds very narcissistic
but its truly how I feel lately.
I've missed you terribly. That no contact really had an effect on me.I don't see anything wrong with how you feel. But the reality is (as I've stated before on these here forums) is that we are NOT THE PRIZE. I know this is what Sosuave wants you to think, but we are NOT the prize, doesn't matter how good we look, how much money we have, nor how good our personalities are...........the women of this market are the controllers of this market.
It's so bad to where a fat chick has the same attitude as a HB8 chick.
These are some of the issues I've been discussing on this forum and people have insanely just responded saying, "Tenacity, why don't you just MOVE?" My question has always been move where? Guys all across the country are reporting these same issues. This isn't a Michigan based problem (where I'm at), this is a Nationwide issue.
So I shouldn't take pride in the fact that if I so chose I could kill mr million dollar man with my bare hands?The fact the majority if guys are not high value. The good news is you dont have to be.
And also being high value in my mind is having true money/power/fame/artist/athlete etc. Not because you go to the gym or have a decent job. To be honest thats laughable...its a beta mindstate. Thinking because you can bench 225 and work at joeblow office job that women should be throwing themselves at your feet. The game doesnt work that way.
Haha. Sure you could. I military you for 20-rep sets. No exaggeration.So I shouldn't take pride in the fact that if I so chose I could kill mr million dollar man with my bare hands?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You're an old man with hair plugs approaching women from behind a keyboard and beta bucking. Funny how you ran from dadynamically offering to meet up and disappeared with air claims when another poster @ you to offer up some of those beta bucks for his approach challenge.Haha. Sure you could. I military you for 20-rep sets. No exaggeration.
Don't let it bother you that there is no facet in which you can win with the million-dollar man. Even comparably, when I was your age. You're no prize champ. That's why YOU must approach women.
From what you've said, it sounds like you are in the Detroit area (maybe). What I've suggested is moving to a somewhat more rural area. I've been to several locations in Michigan, and there seems to be a lot of decent people there. The women can't be all bad.My question has always been move where? Guys all across the country are reporting these same issues. This isn't a Michigan based problem (where I'm at), this is a Nationwide issue.
ThanksFrom what you've said, it sounds like you are in the Detroit area (maybe). What I've suggested is moving to a somewhat more rural area. I've been to several locations in Michigan, and there seems to be a lot of decent people there. The women can't be all bad.
Welcome back, by the way.
Well maybe I'm delusional but I feel like while I don't excel in 1 category I'm doing well across the board which is more than most men can say.. so I feel like a prize..Haha. Sure you could. I military you for 20-rep sets. No exaggeration.
Don't let it bother you that there is no facet in which you can win with the million-dollar man. Even comparably, when I was your age. You're no prize champ. That's why YOU must approach women.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
This is literally the same stuff this person said to me.........right before he started calling me monkey, ape, and every other racial slur you can imagine. You are COOL with this person until you disagree with this person. The moment you disagree with this person, EVERYTHING about you becomes a problem.Cola, all egos aside, I'm not here to compete with you. There are only a handful of quite intelligent posters on this site, and you're one of them.
One thing I don't like to see is wasted talent. You are bigger than your current stature and game plan. Most men are never told this and thus feel subjugated to a life of mediocrity. I just like to see you at least trying to capitalize on your true value.
This person says that I lack the "intelligence" to connect with people, when my career for over 10 years has been based on connecting with people.Tenacity, you're a smart guy too via logic, but you lack emotional intelligence; that is, the intelligence needed to connect with people. And this is your downfall.
Is that supposed to impress? Whats wrong with you dawg. Why do you feel the need to break it down to violence to get some sort of ego trip or what? It doesnt justify you thinking you some special snowflake.So I shouldn't take pride in the fact that if I so chose I could kill mr million dollar man with my bare hands?
Put it this way. Sure Mark Zuckerberg has a fat wallet, but his wife is pretty ugly and you can see how she wears the pants in the relationship just by viewing pictures of them. But someone like him is 'higher value' than you, me, and cola who likely would make his wife do dirtier things with us than he ever could had we been in a relationship with her (not that we'd even want one with her to begin with, but just as an example).Is that supposed to impress? Whats wrong with you dawg. Why do you feel the need to break it down to violence to get some sort of ego trip or what? It doesnt justify you thinking you some special snowflake.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.