What to do when you get those desperate feelings?

[attic]

I recently had a good run with 2 women I'm very attracted to and have a great time with.

Out of nowhere both bailed on me. Plate one went from txting me "I can't stop thinking about you /kisses /kisses /kisses emoji" after our 4th date when I took her home and sealed the deal, to canceling our next three meetups and she hasn't reached out for a week. I reached out with "How are you?" no response and dropped it.

Other plate went from super fun teasing mode and saying she can't wait to see me to another full stop. I dropped that immediately with no reaching out.


I did something, or rather I was something that turned off these girls. I'm learning a lot of times it's not something we say or do so much as how we are conducting ourselves as a whole. ie) You can't fake it as a Don Jaun.

So, I find myself wanting to reach out for either validation or just to test. My mind will wrap these attempts to reach out as "nice guy" stuff, but really it's just desperate, especially when the girl has shown low interest. It's better to be uncomfortable a bit with these womens actions, rather than engage in a need (needy) to know what is up with them.

As i'm typing this I'm realizing I just need to meet other women and focus back on diet, exercise and making money.

I find it a challenge to stop blaming myself when a women simply acts like a woman, rather than just going "oh yea, of course she did that, no biggie".

It's been said here many times, but always go by a woman's behavior rather than what she says. Seems simple, but it's a challenge when they soften you up with their words (often complete opposite of what they think or do).

 

[Floydispink01]

Yes, elaborate more on the post-sealing the deal. You asked her out three times in a row and she flaked every time?

 

[Von]

Do the opposite of how you feel!

Ex: you wanna text her.... you dont
Ex: you wanna wait after her.... you go out there and talk to the first girl you see
Ex: you feel like sleeping.... you go for a run

 

[marmel75]

You got complacent...you should ALWAYS be going on dates with new women to cultivate new plates even while banging current plates...that way you don't run into this kind of situation because you simply replace them.

 

[attic]

Eeeeeek! Man did you fck her good? Sounds like a bad sexual vibe???

Im training my mind to go right back into reading SS material and stay grounded in who I am and who you are. Embrace the now in whatever for it takes. Tough to do though. Practice it.

It threw me off. During sex I dominated her, she bit me (not to hard), and she was very cuddly afterwards. The next day after no txting her, she txts me she couldn't stop thinking about me all day. I replied i'd been thinking about her too, but I overthought my response, I should have just sent something playful back. ie) "Really?, what about???"

Yes, elaborate more on the post-sealing the deal. You asked her out three times in a row and she flaked every time?

Flaked everytime, last time she didn't setup an alternative time. She's a single mom, her kid played into every flake.



Yea, doing the opposite of how I feel is a good one. I know when I get the desperate feelings, I know it feels like i'm smaller than I am, I know how it feels to regain frame and that is always done by approaching other women and taking care of my mind/body (rather than obsessing on the women who do women stuff).

 

[attic]

You got complacent...you should ALWAYS be going on dates with new women to cultivate new plates even while banging current plates...that way you don't run into this kind of situation because you simply replace them.

Yes, this is exactly what happened. While I generated these plates I was out getting numbers and approaching women, during the period the plates flaked on me, I was not getting ANY numbers. I was taking it easy.

 

[bigneil]

This happens. They are probably both having their period. They will both come back on the same day, which will be the day you have a new girl who is equally hot.

 

[wifehunter]

Get frame

 

[Trump]

I'm learning a lot of times it's not something we say or do so much as how we are conducting ourselves as a whole. ie) You can't fake it as a Don Jaun.

Sure you can.

It's better to be uncomfortable a bit with these womens actions, rather than engage in a need (needy) to know what is up with them.

Not necessarily. I've engaged in a need to know what is up with them and it's gotten me the hot girl.

As i'm typing this I'm realizing I just need to meet other women and focus back on diet, exercise and making money.

Don't focus on making money. Girls don't really care.

I find it a challenge to stop blaming myself when a women simply acts like a woman, rather than just going "oh yea, of course she did that, no biggie".

It's been said here many times, but always go by a woman's behavior rather than what she says. Seems simple, but it's a challenge when they soften you up with their words (often complete opposite of what they think or do).

Wait until you get out in the real world.

Man, how do you guys have sex with hot girls and then they make your head spin so fast after the sex? Is the sex that emotional for you? You want to be in a relationship? You want to be married?

If you did everything the same that led to her having sex with you AND she disappeared, then what more do you want from her? Would you rather not have the sex and her be your friend?

You guys have the sex and then get angry when they don't want the "relationship" stuff. Brutal.

 

[Floydispink01]

It threw me off. During sex I dominated her, she bit me (not to hard), and she was very cuddly afterwards. The next day after no txting her, she txts me she couldn't stop thinking about me all day. I replied i'd been thinking about her too, but I overthought my response, I should have just sent something playful back. ie) "Really?, what about???"



Flaked everytime, last time she didn't setup an alternative time. She's a single mom, her kid played into every flake.



Yea, doing the opposite of how I feel is a good one. I know when I get the desperate feelings, I know it feels like i'm smaller than I am, I know how it feels to regain frame and that is always done by approaching other women and taking care of my mind/body (rather than obsessing on the women who do women stuff).

Was you afraid of losing them whilst you were dating.....even when you were playing it cool and having fun?

 

[AJ84]

It's so frustrating when someone you date just drops off with no explanation. Best thing to do is move on and not waste much time thinking about it by meeting other girls.

To be honest, I don't think guys should expect anything nor be surprised by a plate's flakey behavior. They're hook up girls and are probably hooking up with other people and/or using you just for sex. It's no strings attached right? So unfortunately, some plates in those situations probably don't feel like they owe a guy an explanation if they decide not to see them again, even though it's the considerate thing to do.

 

[Red Legg]

I never have this happen because I have a huge c0ck...and an expert in bed.

 

[BeExcellent]

I suspect OP may not be a good enough lover. Either that or he went all wobbly after the conquest. Both are attraction killers.

Women never and I mean NEVER discard a great lover.

But from what I read around here I think many guys here have as inflated a view of their bedroom abilities as many women have about their value.

Perhaps it's time for a How to be Great in Bed thread.

In any case keep moving forward and don't beat yourself up. Now if women continue dropping off after sex, either you are dating above your SMV or it likely IS something you are doing for you are the common denominator.

 

[Red Legg]

Women never and I mean NEVER discard a great lover.

I know this is true first hand...you have to experience it to believe it,the ones I don't see anymore is because I chose not to.....much to their chagrin.

 

[Dingo]

Women "Next" guys too....

If they didn't keep you as a plate it's probably because you sucked in the sack...

 

[marmel75]

I suspect OP may not be a good enough lover. Either that or he went all wobbly after the conquest. Both are attraction killers.

Women never and I mean NEVER discard a great lover.

But from what I read around here I think many guys here have as inflated a view of their bedroom abilities as many women have about their value.

Perhaps it's time for a How to be Great in Bed thread.

In any case keep moving forward and don't beat yourself up. Now if women continue dropping off after sex, either you are dating above your SMV or it likely IS something you are doing for you are the common denominator.

Well...I've found this is true for the short-term but not for the long term. What I mean is that if you rock their world you will definitely get 3 or 4 more times out of her...but then other things start coming into play like what does she see long term and if the guy is the right fit, etc...it's typically around that point that if a woman doesn't see a long term relationship(if she is looking for one) then she will kind of bail to avoid becoming too attached/emotionally involved. If she is cool with not having a relationship and is down for a FWB then things will continue.

Typically you can tell how good you are not by what a woman says immediately after sex while you are still laying in bed but by how often she brings up your performance the next day and the following days after that...she will definitely let you know if you were all that and then some...also if you are around her friends, pay close attention to any sly comments they make and how they look at you...if she has told them about your prowess between the sheets they will be sure to let something slip or sometimes even directly say something about it...

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Perhaps it's time for a How to be Great in Bed thread.

Why don't you start this thread?

Actually, I'll start it for you.

 

[attic]

I think what killed it with the girl was that... I went a bit AFC in between the night we had sex and the next time we were suppose to meet up. I can almost feel myself going that route, and part of me wants to claw out of it, but it's a slippery route out once you find yourself in that mode.

This board and the members here help provide some good footholds.

-After she flaked the first time I should have backed off way further
-I txt'd too much before seeing her again
-I txt'd stuff not related to setting and confirm next meet ups

She's 23 i'm 36, part of me thinks she was just curious, but regardless the drop from girls when they drop you can be rough. I'm sure I will hear from her again and i'll re pursue then.


Frames back, got in a good run and workout last night. During which I tell myself the world is logical, strong, just and persistent in its wisdom. What i'm doing is acknowledging those aspects in myself, it helps to clear out the BS after I feel spun by something (women and propaganda in the US).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I recently had a good run with 2 women I'm very attracted to and have a great time with.

Out of nowhere both bailed on me. Plate one went from txting me "I can't stop thinking about you /kisses /kisses /kisses emoji" after our 4th date when I took her home and sealed the deal, to canceling our next three meetups and she hasn't reached out for a week. I reached out with "How are you?" no response and dropped it.

Other plate went from super fun teasing mode and saying she can't wait to see me to another full stop. I dropped that immediately with no reaching out.


I did something, or rather I was something that turned off these girls. I'm learning a lot of times it's not something we say or do so much as how we are conducting ourselves as a whole. ie) You can't fake it as a Don Jaun.

So, I find myself wanting to reach out for either validation or just to test. My mind will wrap these attempts to reach out as "nice guy" stuff, but really it's just desperate, especially when the girl has shown low interest. It's better to be uncomfortable a bit with these womens actions, rather than engage in a need (needy) to know what is up with them.

As i'm typing this I'm realizing I just need to meet other women and focus back on diet, exercise and making money.

I find it a challenge to stop blaming myself when a women simply acts like a woman, rather than just going "oh yea, of course she did that, no biggie".

It's been said here many times, but always go by a woman's behavior rather than what she says. Seems simple, but it's a challenge when they soften you up with their words (often complete opposite of what they think or do).

Go box

 

[raider87]

You mean to tell me you can tick every box but if you suck in bed on the first time, most of these girls wont see you again?