"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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A simple escalation - botched

Rawk Steady

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I recently met and vibed with a younger friend of a friend (she is 26). Long story short, I can tell that she likes me and likes to mess around as she told me about her fwb situation. We exchange some texts, keep it flirty. Saturday night she asks what I'm up to, I say watching a movie and to come over. She asks where, I send the address. The she says oh that's too far (it's 40 minutes) and she is feeling lazy. At which I choked and couldn't think of anything other than "suit yourself, some other time then." Lame. Lately I've been having blockage from escalating things to a romantic/sexual level, leaving everything nice, cordial...boring. There is still opportunity here but I need help to kick start the confident and creative juices. Or should I just use "dtf"?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bingo-Player

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I recently met and vibed with a younger friend of a friend (she is 26). Long story short, I can tell that she likes me and likes to mess around as she told me about her fwb situation. We exchange some texts, keep it flirty. Saturday night she asks what I'm up to, I say watching a movie and to come over. She asks where, I send the address. The she says oh that's too far (it's 40 minutes) and she is feeling lazy. At which I choked and couldn't think of anything other than "suit yourself, some other time then." Lame. Lately I've been having blockage from escalating things to a romantic/sexual level, leaving everything nice, cordial...boring. There is still opportunity here but I need help to kick start the confident and creative juices. Or should I just use "dtf"?
there was no need to reply to her when she said she was "feeling lazy"

if you had killed the conversation there it would of forced her hand

the response you sent sounds as though you are disappointed she couldn't come( which is exactly what she wanted ) - validation
 

Glassguy

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I agree with @Bingo-Player

You never want to be putting in all of the effort. Make her earn your attention.

If it was me, and she asked me what I was doing on a Friday or Saturday night, I would say "meeting up with a friend for a couple drinks" and leave it at that.

The reason she asked you was to see if you had a busy life, another chick, etc. She was at home alone on a Saturday night and was ok with it once she knew she could have you if she wanted.

Her: what are you doing tonight?
Me: Meeting a friend for a drink
Her: That sounds fun. Where are you going out to?
Me: Not exactly sure what the night holds yet ;). I know where I am starting but no idea where I will end up
Her: What are you doing after that?
Me: Not sure. I will text you later. Not sure I will be able to drive that far to hang out at that point. If not maybe we can get together later.

See the difference OP? You are making her qualify herself. Even if your @ss was sitting at home bored to death, you should put on as if you have tons going on. Give her the option to invite YOU over. Again, making her work.
 

Rawk Steady

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All good advice, thanks everyone. I'm rusty and this helps get my head right.
 
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