The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Carpathian]

As time passes by, you tend you forget about the chitty parts of that person, and start thinking only of the good times..

She will be thinking the same.
The most important thing you can do is *to do nothing* when she contacts you. Easy to say and so hard to do.

 

[Carpathian]

Day 2 of NC. Yeah I miss her, there was a point where she was deeply in love with me and I tool her for granted and stopped doing the things I did when I first met her. That is what is most disappointing for me. Knowing that she did some many awesome things for me and I didn't treat her well.

I have a date on Tuesday and another one with another girl on Friday. A couple other prospects that I'm chatting with on some of the dating apps. If my ex came back today my frame is so out of place that I would screw things up anyways. I need to accept the loss.. and it hurts.. but the only way to get her back is to forget her and move on and if it is meant to be we will cross paths once again. She still has some of my things that she will need to give back at some point.

Forget the things she has of yours if she still has them - after this time they cannot be that important. A few CD's, a DVD and a shirt or so? Gee man, forget them.
Keep moving forward like you are doing.

 

[soulforge]

She will be thinking the same.
The most important thing you can do is *to do nothing* when she contacts you. Easy to say and so hard to do.

She can't contact me bro.. i changed my mobile number

 

[ApolloSunGod]

Forget the things she has of yours if she still has them - after this time they cannot be that important. A few CD's, a DVD and a shirt or so? Gee man, forget them.
Keep moving forward like you are doing.

Yes just junk you don't need that stuff, just an excuse to keep contact, time to roll your nuts up like a Man &forget about that stuff & take your losses...

 

[finality]

Yes just junk you don't need that stuff, just an excuse to keep contact, time to roll your nuts up like a Man &forget about that stuff & take your losses...

Consider it done.

 

[finality]

Day 2, should already been past day 30 if I just went nc after the breakup. Still have the "she's the one" feeling. Part of me thinks we will still live happily ever after.. Disney mentality.

First date with a hot Russian on Friday.

Went on a first date last night with different chick but she wasn't as hot as my ex. I can't downgrade.

 

[soulforge]

Don't know why but I feel bad for blocking her completely, and changing my number..

I did it, so I can get over her.. still struggling a little with it after 5 months NC

Going back there just does not feel like an option..


Man hope i am doing the right thing

 

[MrAddiction]

Don't know why but I feel bad for blocking her completely, and changing my number..

I did it, so I can get over her.. still struggling a little with it after 5 months NC

Going back there just does not feel like an option..


Man hope i am doing the right thing

That it feels hard - does not mean it is wrong. The opposite is true. Most of the time the necessary decissions are those that feel hard. Society told us the wrong way about it.

 

[finality]

Day 3. Creeped her instagram last night... just brings me anxiety to look at.

First dates on Friday and Saturday with 2 different women.

 

[MrAddiction]

Day 3. Creeped her instagram last night... just brings me anxiety to look at.

First dates on Friday and Saturday with 2 different women.

Get off that fcuking Social Media. Nothing good comes from looking at your exs profiles...all you see there is fake.

 

[jimjam]

Gents,

first off, let me say that you all were RIGHT. OK. I should've listened to you all but I didn't. I got mixed up again with my possible NPD but most definitely cluster B ex. No point in going over the hole thing again. Suffice to say that I was told she'd dump me again. And she did. But hell, I'm jimjam, I thought. I can do anything. I'm not afraid of her or what can happen. Throw caution to the wind!

Well, anyway, she was all flirty and attentive in the beginning. She gave fantastic hed. Then, like that, she began to ignore me one day. Here we go, I thought, devaluation. Sure enough, she became distant and cold. I finally had to "corner" her and ask her what's up? Long and short she told me I don't care about her. I don't seem concerned about her stresses, her job, all that. All bvllsh1t. That was on Saturday. I wasn't heartbroken. Sad, perhaps, but I had read extensively about NPD and I was kind of expecting it. Wasn't too big of a jolt. Sad, nonetheless.

Anyway, we both had to attend a July 4 party with our son. I said hello and goodbye to her at the event and not much more. Maybe yes when she asked me if I wanted a drink. So brings me to today. This is my official day 1 of LIMITED contact. I say limited because I do need to keep in touch with her because of our son. Had to call there tonight to speak to him. I spoke to him and him only. And in the future, if I do have to speak to her it will only be relayed to our son.

I'll try to post here every day. Won't be able to on some days. I have a side business that I'm trying to get off the ground so I'm gonna concentrate on that. That, my son, working out and just trying to figure myself out and try to get outta my head.

Thanks, guys. Again, you all were right.

 

[finality]

Get off that fcuking Social Media. Nothing good comes from looking at your exs profiles...all you see there is fake.

Oh, I know.

Day 4 today. Going out for a drink with a new one that I met on Bumble tonight. I've made some good progress the last 4 days. The lows are just as low but she isn't on my mind 100% of the time.. maybe like 80% right now lol. Progress is progress.

 

[finality]

damn.. seen her on tinder

 

[jimjam]

Day 2:

Friday. Some of the old good time feelings creep up today. Still not going to contact or reach out to her. The weekend will be tough for sure. But I'm working on my car tomorrow, probably another on Sunday, so there's that. I> can't help but think in the back of my mind that me radio silencing her will only cause her to call me. I don't want to feel this way. I want to be rid of this woman, for as much as I can, once and for all.

One conclusion I arrived at is I need to meet some floozy and bang the sh!t out of her. That's one way to forget.

Beginning tomorrow I'll writ some insight that I discovered about myself because of this happening. I' glad this is here. Posing all of this make me accountable.

Onward

 

[finality]

Well I swiped right on the ex and it was a match. Sent her the same message I sent when when we first met her on tinder. No response. Know she seen it because her location changed a couple times

Was a terrible mistake swiping on the ex but she was there and I was curious. Now I cant even use Tinder without seeing her and checking her locations changes ect. I want to delete her but then I will look buthurt.

First date with the Russian was terrible. I can't downgrade and my ex was a 9.. its hard to find hotter chicks man.

I ended up dropping 300 on a 23 year old escort. She was smoking hot. I banged her for like 5 minutes and then left even though I paid for an hour.

 

[finality]

just deleted the app..no response

been on here a year and only post on NC thread.. basically 180 posts on how Im going to go NC but never can. I fail at life.

 

[jimjam]

Day 3

Saturday.

Well, I kept busy throughout the day but thoughts of her kept invading my mind. Sucks. I'm like, get the fvck outta here. Her bday is next week and her, our son and her mom went somewhere this weekend. Some event. I thought she would've texted me pictures of our son but she didn't even do that. You see, I read all about NPD and why I may be attracting these types of women into my life. OK. But I just can't wrap my head around the fact of what a sick and disordered individual she must be. I just can't process how someone could go from so caring to so callous a the snap of a finger. Logically, I know its because she's a sick and empty person. But it's like here we go again. Will I ever be able to trust someone with my heart again?

Still WILL NOT reach out to her. WILL NOT text, WIL NOT stalk on social media

Worked on my car today. Hitting the gym tomorrow and preparing for the week ahead.

What has this caused me to realize about myself: I need to just put it behind me. It happened to millions of others, and those millions moved on.

 

[jimjam]

Alright.

Sunday

Day 4.

Not much today. Worked out and worked on a car. She has not contacted me nor I her. Still thinking of her, though. Trying to keep busy

 

[Reboot2017]

basically 180 posts on how Im going to go NC but never can. I fail at life.

Man, it is not as grievous as you think it is. It is a just a phase you are going through. There are others in worst shape. Reading through your posts, it occurs to me that you spend a lot of time trying to distract yourself from your ex rather than trying to fix what is wrong with your life. Not too sure if you have any passion or hobbies outside of women but if you do, focusing all this energy on those will help you pass this low point. I am assuming you are already lifting... As for continuously going back to your ex, there was a great post on the thread here on addiction and why we do it.

The only way to break the cycle is to be tough. Go monk mode if you have to. Most importantly, figure out why do you have this need for your ex and women in general to make you happy. If you do that, everything else would fall in place. Keep NC until it breaks you. And when it does, cry a little an continue NC. You would thank yourself 1 year down the road.

 

[attic]

Well I swiped right on the ex and it was a match. Sent her the same message I sent when when we first met her on tinder. No response. Know she seen it because her location changed a couple times

Was a terrible mistake swiping on the ex but she was there and I was curious. Now I cant even use Tinder without seeing her and checking her locations changes ect. I want to delete her but then I will look buthurt.

First date with the Russian was terrible. I can't downgrade and my ex was a 9.. its hard to find hotter chicks man.

I ended up dropping 300 on a 23 year old escort. She was smoking hot. I banged her for like 5 minutes and then left even though I paid for an hour.

NC works.

Your ex will still be there, after NC you'll be better equipped to handle yourself.

IMO, that was 300 well spent, clear that head. And relatively speaking, that's free *****.

But yea, you gotta be struggling if you dined and left after 5 mins.