Hard to read her, next steps?

[LordBucketHead]

Talking to a girl for about a 3.5 weeks. Took her on a few dates, told her I wanted to come over and cook her dinner this past Saturday night and she was down with that. Had just taken her to the gun range that afternoon, came over around 8pm and started cooking, eventually got to a point where I was giving her a massage and had her shirt off and bra unhooked. After about 20min of that I started kissing on her shoulders then pulled her in and started kissing for a little. Figured I was good to go so asked if she wanted to head to the bedroom and she said "no"...took me by surprise so I laid her back on the couch started kissing some more which she was down for until I started trying to get some blood action. Mind you she's still in her unhooked bra and the twins are looking GORGEOUS...but she pulls up and says "chill" which again took me by surprise. So we're sitting there while I rub her leg some and watching TV for another 20min or so and eventually I say that I'm going to clean up my cooking mess and head out. Before I leave she gives me a hug and says to text her when I get home which I do, she says she "had a really good time" to which I say that I did too and hope I didn't scare her away. She said that I hadn't and I just left it at that. Sent a few text back and forth the next day and ghosted for the rest of the night, then on Monday I sent a text saying that I felt like I f**ked up and didn't want her to think I was just after the a** (which I am), said I wanted to try again and she said that was cool...I ghosted again. Yesterday she sends me a few text but at this point I'm somewhat bored of her and her hard to read (for me) queues so I send a few and ghost for the rest of the night again. Now she texted me again this morning, smiley faces and bull**** but I'm like WTF to myself.

How do I move this along. If it means anything I'm 29 and she 22 which to me said this "should" have been easier than it currently is. My plan is to ghost for about 3-4 days but at the same time I'm new to this and don't know if that'll have the opposite effect. No other girls in the queue as of right now but that's only because I just started recruiting and lost one promising one to a really stupid situation lol but that's another story.

What say you guys.
Also, I know now that I apparently messed up by asking if she wanted to head to the bedroom...everything else is still strange "to me" though.

 

[dude99]

Talking to a girl for about a 3.5 weeks. Took her on a few dates, told her I wanted to come over and cook her dinner this past Saturday night and she was down with that. Had just taken her to the gun range that afternoon, came over around 8pm and started cooking, eventually got to a point where I was giving her a massage and had her shirt off and bra unhooked. After about 20min of that I started kissing on her shoulders then pulled her in and started kissing for a little. Figured I was good to go so asked if she wanted to head to the bedroom and she said "no"...took me by surprise so I laid her back on the couch started kissing some more which she was down for until I started trying to get some blood action. Mind you she's still in her unhooked bra and the twins are looking GORGEOUS...but she pulls up and says "chill" which again took me by surprise. So we're sitting there while I rub her leg some and watching TV for another 20min or so and eventually I say that I'm going to clean up my cooking mess and head out. Before I leave she gives me a hug and says to text her when I get home which I do, she says she "had a really good time" to which I say that I did too and hope I didn't scare her away. She said that I hadn't and I just left it at that. Sent a few text back and forth the next day and ghosted for the rest of the night, then on Monday I sent a text saying that I felt like I f**ked up and didn't want her to think I was just after the a** (which I am), said I wanted to try again and she said that was cool...I ghosted again. Yesterday she sends me a few text but at this point I'm somewhat bored of her and her hard to read (for me) queues so I send a few and ghost for the rest of the night again. Now she texted me again this morning, smiley faces and bull**** but I'm like WTF to myself.

How do I move this along. If it means anything I'm 29 and she 22 which to me said this "should" have been easier than it currently is. My plan is to ghost for about 3-4 days but at the same time I'm new to this and don't know if that'll have the opposite effect. No other girls in the queue as of right now but that's only because I just started recruiting and lost one promising one to a really stupid situation lol but that's another story.

What say you guys.
Also, I know now that I apparently messed up by asking if she wanted to head to the bedroom...everything else is still strange "to me" though.

Have date number 2. Escalate. If she shuts you down again she isn't interested. Date more women.

 

[Glassguy]

Have date number 2. Escalate. If she shuts you down again she isn't interested. Date more women.

This.

If you ghost her for a few days, she will think you're all about the sechs and may go cold. You made your sexual intentions clear and she is still texting you.

Invite her over to your place for the next date. Tell her that you are going to do a little more cooking and tell her to bring the wine. It may be a good idea to see if she starts the kino/sexual moves first. If she doesnt, then escalate after 30-45 minutes and see how it goes.

If she starts a little kino/escalation early on I think its a slam dunk.

 

[LordBucketHead]

Slight update with some withheld information. When I sent her a text asking for the redo I also said next time we can just cuddle and watch something stupid on TV. Yes yes I know, lame but I panicked and thought I messed things up and was looking for a hail mary. So with that said, should I still escalate next time we are alone in either her or my house?

 

[Glassguy]

Slight update with some withheld information. When I sent her a text asking for the redo I also said next time we can just cuddle and watch something stupid on TV. Yes yes I know, lame but I panicked and thought I messed things up and was looking for a hail mary. So with that said, should I still escalate next time we are alone in either her or my house?

Why panic and why are you getting so bent up about it? Dude, chill out. You are probably coming across as needy and desperate.

Just sit back and see what she says. I would not get so detailed about asking her to come over and hang out.

"Hey I am fixing dinner ______. Grab the wine and I will see you at 8pm".

Its either a yes, maybe or no. Anything besides a YES and you ghost her after saying "Ok. Reach out if you want to get together again".

You're making this way too hard.

 

[dude99]

Slight update with some withheld information. When I sent her a text asking for the redo I also said next time we can just cuddle and watch something stupid on TV. Yes yes I know, lame but I panicked and thought I messed things up and was looking for a hail mary. So with that said, should I still escalate next time we are alone in either her or my house?

"We can cuddle." Is spiking the ball on 4 and 10. Not a hail mary. Sorry dude.

 

[LordBucketHead]

"We can cuddle." Is spiking the ball on 4 and 10. Not a hail mary. Sorry dude.

Lol understood, still learning so if it's gone then it's gone...but damn sure still going to try. I've never been good at closing, dumb luck has always worked in my favor so working on skill alone now is a bit of an effort, but enjoying the ride either way.

 

[lizardking82]

Two main points, from my perspective, on this one:

1) You don't ask "should we head to the bedroom". You lead her to the bedroom. She obeys or she doesn't, but you lead. Asking is not leading, asking is seeking permission and leaders do not seek permition.

2) "I hope I didn't scare you away". Never say that again. If you did, it will be obvious. If you didn't, it will again be obvious. That sounds like and in essence, is, submissive behaviour = "I am sorry, master, I hope I didn't make you feel bad or sth...".

A lot of times, it's these seemingly "little" things that make the difference. You're 29, she's 22 and hot. Her SMV right now is crazy high and she wants someone who knows what he's doing. Anything other than that and the already nice attraction she might have for you is fading away.

 

[LordBucketHead]

Update:

Been ignoring her for the most part today. Sent me a text early this morning, responded with some shorthand response about 2 hours later and got my response from her about 5min later but ignored that one also. She text me again about 1.5 later asking about if I still wanted to take her to the lake tomorrow to possibly go jetskiing eventhough I'm pretty sure she won't jetski (not the most adventurous girl). Honest wrote her off on that because she said she was going to bring a friend with her so she could have someone to talk to while I was on the water, that's a waste of my time and effort so likely going to tell her that...in somewhat nicer terms

 

[dude99]

Update:

Been ignoring her for the most part today. Sent me a text early this morning, responded with some shorthand response about 2 hours later and got my response from her about 5min later but ignored that one also. She text me again about 1.5 later asking about if I still wanted to take her to the lake tomorrow to possibly go jetskiing eventhough I'm pretty sure she won't jetski (not the most adventurous girl). Honest wrote her off on that because she said she was going to bring a friend with her so she could have someone to talk to while I was on the water, that's a waste of my time and effort so likely going to tell her that...in somewhat nicer terms

Flake on her. If she is bringing someone else on a "date." You're not on a date.

 

[Plums]

You sound rather desperate to me. I would chill for a few weeks. Think about if you like her and if you do try again. But she sounds more in control of the situation than you are.
Maybe you are just a better cook than you are lover. Which in my book isn't such a bad thing. At least you clean up after yourself.