Online dating: get phone number before first date or skip it?

[windplaysmusic]

I like to move fairly quickly from first message to first date. Just curious what you guys think about getting the girl's phone number before the first date. I used to send 5-10 volleys of website messages, get the number, send a few more volleys over text, and then ask her out on the date through text.

These days, I don't really even want the girl's number before I meet her and like her. But on the other hand having the number can help with scheduling. I called a few girls before the first date and it went OK, but overall I don't really like phones, and it feels kind of like an "interview". Of course you guys may have a different approach and your style might be different and I could potentially learn how to flirt over the phone better.

Just curious which way you go and why

1) Online message -> In Person Date
2) Online message -> Phone number (text) -> In Person Date
3) Online message -> Phone number (text and call) -> In Person Date

 

[lizardking82]

I think it's quite situational. If you can get the situation to progress and the IL is high enough, the means with which you do it doesn't even matter, in my opinion.

 

[shesabranchswinger]

Correct

 

[Milano]

I like to get the phone number first because it usually means that I am one step closer to being something other than the usual snapchat or fakebook boy, my tip is one step closer to her holes. Also, this is the critical point where they will gladly give it away or try to counter your number close by asking you some random bullsh1t question. Anything other than getting what you ask for in this situation is a blank NO and means that you ofc delete her, but it saves you a lot of time imo. In general its just a great way to find out where you stand with a girl.

When you sms her for the date, location and time, you now stand out from the other social media aps where she DROWNS with attention. Imo, calling too early is too much for the social media aps girls-generation, and if she was busy and couldnt get the call it can get weird.

 

[ThisNThat]

I like to move fairly quickly from first message to first date. Just curious what you guys think about getting the girl's phone number before the first date. I used to send 5-10 volleys of website messages, get the number, send a few more volleys over text, and then ask her out on the date through text.

These days, I don't really even want the girl's number before I meet her and like her. But on the other hand having the number can help with scheduling. I called a few girls before the first date and it went OK, but overall I don't really like phones, and it feels kind of like an "interview". Of course you guys may have a different approach and your style might be different and I could potentially learn how to flirt over the phone better.

Just curious which way you go and why

1) Online message -> In Person Date
2) Online message -> Phone number (text) -> In Person Date
3) Online message -> Phone number (text and call) -> In Person Date

My policy is always to get the phone #, get them on the phone, to get an idea if they are fake or not. Who knows they may or may not be a catfish.

I have a female friend that will refuse to give out her # to men on OK Cupid...she even told me, if she had met me online and had this "Phone before meet" policy, she would have dumped me and moved on.

She said she doesn't want to be giving out her personal # to every tom **** and harry on dating sites. I guess from that perspective that does make sense. A lot of stories from women that men blew up their phone with texts caused them to not give out her #.

 

[The Duke]

It used to be standard that a phone number would be exchanged before meeting. I've had two in the past year refuse to give out a phone number before meeting so I simply told them I wouldn't meet them. End of story.

It tells me several things when a girl won't give out her # but wants to meet:
1. She probably flaked on a guy in her past and he got pissed and sent her mean text messages.
2. She must go thru a ton of 1st dates.
3. She's afraid of me using her phone # to look up her info.
4. She's bad at selecting good guys.

Stop giving into their power play. If you want it and they wont give it, then don't go out with them.