A woman who I have been seeing for 5 months gave me the key to her house on a recent date.She told me that I could come over any time I wanted day or night.She lives about 100 miles from my house.I do not want to seem needy and go over every night for sex .We see each other every weekend alternating whose house we stay at,so she gave me the key for the weekdays.My question for you DJ's is how often would you go over?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Key to her place
- Thread starter Red Legg
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
100 miles is a nice distance, 1.5 hrs most cases. Everyday would be kinda tough unless you only worked 8 hrs a day. I think you get out there on the weekends. Then once in a blue moon during the week to taker her up on her offer to give you the key.
Roober
Master Don Juan
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Wow! 100 miles is pretty far. You have it, but you don't have to use it. Just pop in every now and then. Make sure she continues to come out your way though. This could be a covert action of "hey, he has a key to my place, so maybe I won't have to go out to his place any more..."
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Yes, let her invest in the drive time as well. I would still pop up out there from time to time.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah I am retired so I can go up whenever I want, she works though.I am thinking once a week.
dustmuffin
Master Don Juan
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- Jul 21, 2015
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- 1,423
- Age
- 63
100 miles is an ldr. Why are you driving so far? Can't you find local women?
It's not an LDR
Its probably not an LDR in my book as u have the time and u r getting it wet. It is possible she s angling for more investment hoping u would reciprocate with a key to your place.
However it is an ideal plate spinning setup if I r of that mind.
However it is an ideal plate spinning setup if I r of that mind.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
I think you have a plate or two closer. It seems like with the key she wants to be invested. Let her also make trips to you. User her place as a home away from home on some entire weekends and hit it all weekend. Pop up there once in a blue moon during the week since you have a key just to appease any thoughts of interlopers hitting it while you are away.
There have been married people that live that far apart.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.