Why do some people only attract dramatic/sad/miserable people in their life?

[lizardking82]

Always curious about this one. Or sometimes, some people go on a streak of attracting only this kind, like for 1 or 2 years.

 

[TheProspect]

I personally believe we usually attract a reflection of ourselves.

When I was violent and used drugs when I was a teen I always was prone to get into fights and it seemed like everyone I knew did drugs to a degree.

Now that I am focused on success and my university GPA I always seem to bump into ambitious people and people who are doing something with their lives.


To answer your question, people probably "go on a streak" of attracting certain people for a period of time because they are going through a phase in which what they value and how they perceive themselves changes, and this new internal energy as a result of these paradigm shifts resonates with others who operate on a similar frequency. Basically, you attract what you are.

 

[lizardking82]

I just went through a recent breakup and the people I attracted back at the time seem to be people with loads of problems. One of the girls I am dating just told me tonight about her mother cheating on her father and how dramatic this all was in their family, another girl has trouble and is insecure about another story she had, this other girl that I stopped dating was all kinds of dramas going on... I mean, I know I am myself in kind of a dramatic vibe since I am on the road to emotional recovery from my last relationship heartbreak, but still, I don't think I am so dramatic as the people I meet, really. Like, I don't have this kind of drama going on in my life, I am chill most of the time, you know. It seems to be a incorrelation between the amount of drama they have and that I have. They have way, way more than me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I just went through a recent breakup and the people I attracted back at the time seem to be people with loads of problems. One of the girls I am dating just told me tonight about her mother cheating on her father and how dramatic this all was in their family, another girl has trouble and is insecure about another story she had, this other girl that I stopped dating was all kinds of dramas going on... I mean, I know I am myself in kind of a dramatic vibe since I am on the road to emotional recovery from my last relationship heartbreak, but still, I don't think I am so dramatic as the people I meet, really. Like, I don't have this kind of drama going on in my life, I am chill most of the time, you know. It seems to be a incorrelation between the amount of drama they have and that I have. They have way, way more than me.

If you had the drama with the ex it's perhaps that you have been conditioned to it and attracted to people with that vibe. When a lot of us get out of relationships we may have anger and pain, and that's not going to attract healthy folks usually.

 

[lizardking82]

If you had the drama with the ex it's perhaps that you have been conditioned to it and attracted to people with that vibe. When a lot of us get out of relationships we may have anger and pain, and that's not going to attract healthy folks usually.

No, absolutely not, man. Until after the breakup where it was dramma for me for about a month, for those 2 years in relationship with her there was almost no drama at all. And I could notice that because I kept attracting great girls during those 2 years. And I totally understand that I was dramatic during October/November/December and even January of this year, but still, I am telling you, if my drama level is about 20%, these girls have like a good 60% in them.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I attract a lot of "weirdos" who like to talk and I am more introverted unless I am comfortable around you, which is usually my friends. Been wondering what it meant

 

[wifehunter]

Because they are fun AT FIRST...then things go down hill, and it becomes hard to get out as they've sucked you in.

They are "black holes"

They also need to be removed from your life, so there's space for quality people.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Because EVERYONE has problems. Literally, EVERYONE. I can say that almost all the guys here have baggage as well, and most of you already know that too. The thing is, those people who lived 'perfect' lives are often super boring and robotic and so you wouldn't really look at them. More often than not, people with issues still have some kind of subconscious mechanism making them cope with whatever baggage they had and that is just what might attract you to them or them to you.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Breakups are a gift.. theyre perfect.
To the guys who are wise enough to learn from them.
Youre just progessing in life. and realizing alot of
crap you tolerated.

When i went through mine, it was serously a perfectly
tailored situation that was designed by GOD to weed out
all the BS that accumalated in me sence childhood.

Feel lightyears more wiser

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No, absolutely not, man. Until after the breakup where it was dramma for me for about a month, for those 2 years in relationship with her there was almost no drama at all. And I could notice that because I kept attracting great girls during those 2 years. And I totally understand that I was dramatic during October/November/December and even January of this year, but still, I am telling you, if my drama level is about 20%, these girls have like a good 60% in them.

That's good. Getting too accustomed to it messes up our vibe and can set you back many years...

 

[fastlife]

You need distraction; they need supply.

Passivity, lack of passion, unemotionality, rigidity all make you a good inverse for a crazy. Drama, egotism, self-destructiveness all make you a good amplifier for a crazy.

Self-esteem, strong boundaries, fulfillment, happiness, strength & the crazies will be nowhere to be found.

Field-tested by years of personal experience.

 

[resilient]

Makes sense to me... birds of a feather flock together. Like begets like.

Sometimes you got to step back and look at the bigger picture. Did you knowingly invite that drama into your life despite initially using your DJ spider senses to detect early red flags?

We often rationalize the red flags initially because the woman is fun, exciting, typically impulsive, good sechs, and chemistry in the beginning.

It's later that the holes in the relation(ship) become glaringly obvious as the boat takes on too much water (drama) and you can't patch it up fast enough after its already began to sink.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Makes sense to me... birds of a feather flock together. Like begets like.

Sometimes you got to step back and look at the bigger picture. Did you knowingly invite that drama into your life despite initially using your DJ spider senses to detect early red flags?

We often rationalize the red flags initially because the woman is fun, exciting, typically impulsive, good sechs, and chemistry in the beginning.

It's later that the holes in the relation(ship) become glaringly obvious as the boat takes on too much water (drama) and you can't patch it up fast enough after its already began to sink.

"Hot girls" is like playing against the casino ( cheaters )... So yeah they have problems and will make you pay for it.

 

[Polysix]

'If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.' - Nikola Tesla
I love this quote, tells me alot about why I am/ was so attracted to Drama-Queens in the last 2 years and teaches me some of the stuff I had/ have to learn.

 

[Reykhel]

Always curious about this one. Or sometimes, some people go on a streak of attracting only this kind, like for 1 or 2 years.

I don't believe it's necessarily a question of like attracting like....

It has a lot to do with:
Not having well defined mature boundaries:
Well defined boundaries can be simply when you're sure in your likes and dislikes, when you make it clear where you draw the line with regards to certain behaviors. You have a certain values that you adhere by. (these are simply examples, they don't necessarily define you as a person but they define where your lines are and will greatly influence your behaviors and thus who you let into your life.

It also means that you have a low tolerance level for anyone crossing your boundaries and your not afraid to stand up for yourself and fight for what you deserve: what you're entitled to. Your not a fvcking push over.

Observe people who have weak or badly defined boundaries.......they are easily influenced by others. they possibly later regret their behaviors and feel they were led astray or wrongly advised by others. They get easily manipulated and bullied simply because they 1. don't know where the line in the sand it 2. Wouldn't do anything about it even if they did now where it was.

No boundaries is the equivalent of having the doors of your house wide open. Anyone can walk in and hang around your house. They eat ****e out of your fridge. They put their feet up on your coffee table and you have not got the balls to tell them to get the fvck out. They walk out of the house with your belongings.

People who are indecisive often reveal weak boundaries. They're not quite sure about things. They start to accept any old ****e. The standards drop. They order a rare steak in a restaurant and when it comes out well done they sit there seething and eat it instead of saying "no, that's not good enough".

They accept substandard women and substandard friends because they never really defined where their standards lie. It's a slow decline.

 

[bigneil]

Were you turning down better girls?

Were you imagining other girls were better?

Or maybe you were dumpster diving and aspire for more?

 

[lizardking82]

Were you turning down better girls?

Were you imagining other girls were better?

Or maybe you were dumpster diving and aspire for more?

Nope, not turning down better girls. I am sure there are other girls that are better, but not the case. Not dumpster diving either since the girls I date are never low quality. They are hot to my perception, but most of them seem to have this drama involved with them, though I think I got my answer from different perspectives up there.

 

[bigneil]

I think we imagine girls from previous generations weren't skanky. There is a reason we have wall-building sperm and sperm-killing sperm along with egg-seeking sperm. Form follows function.