Why some guys are late bloomers despite nothing being wrong with them.

[Good Gao]

I know we get guys who are socially awkward or ugly that lose their virginity after the age of 25 but I feel like quite a few guys out there are in this situation despite there not being much wrong with them at all. They aren't bad looking and their social skills are passable but they are still virgins into their 20s.

Having known some guys like this, I found some common ground in their backgrounds. It seems like a lot of them were just victims to unfortunate circumstances growing up that were out of their control, issues such as home schooling or going to an all boys school. Not just that, also going to a bad school where the girls were more Worldstar material instead of your typical hot 16 year old.

I have known guys like this and it seemed like a lot of them were normal guys who just didn't care to get laid because the peer pressure either wasn't there or the girls weren't worth chasing.

What it actually results in is these guys being out of touch with the game the pickup stuff does them no justice.

Doing the Simple Pickup stuff in college is social suicide because so much rests on social status in a college environment. Even in the real world, most people meet and find their SOs through social circles and friends of friends. Some handsome guys might be able to do well on Tinder or Bumble but for these guys, the issue is becoming familiar with the game.

Even on here, we don't really talk as much about social circles and how to operate in social life.

These guys never understood the importance of status and how to maintain it so they pay the price for it now because hot girls kinda always care about status and how you are perceived. For these guys, life is about playing catch up and understanding the social rules that normal guys and players learned in high school.

What do you guys have to say about this?

 

[marmel75]

I was an extremely late bloomer...looking back at college I cannot believe how many green lights to bang I missed...from girls I just met sitting on my lap and asking me when they can stop by and visit again, to girls who would tell me how muscular I was to a girl who told me she dreamt about us taking a shower together...

So many many times I screwed up it was almost unfathomable...

 

[Mike32ct]

I lost my virginity at 28.

General issues:

1. Very strict parents. No extra-curricular activities were allowed. Just school and work.

2. Commuted to college. Graduated top of my class, but only knew five people in the whole school (who were also commuters).

3. Very introverted. Also social anxiety.

4. Never had a social circle. Even today, I hang out with friends from work. I have some acquaintances from dance class, but not to hang out with outside of there.

Looks Issue

1. When your guy friend tells you that you are "not a bad looking guy" or "you look ok/fine," he's being sincere/honest. But in this time of extreme hypergamy, women don't see it that way at all. Average is the new ugly.

Biggest issue

1. While looks are very important, I think the late bloomer guys have a serious inner game issue CAUSED by "General Issues" or similar to those. YMMV.

What I'm about to say is very difficult to describe exactly in words, but it's important, so I'll try my best....

When you meet a woman that want to date or have sex with, you mentally have to be 100 PERCENT in the game, and you have to truly fit the role of a person with AT LEAST a normal dating/sex life (or more).

An inexperienced or late bloomer guy will have some subtle or not so subtle hesitation and timidness. He's not able to FULLY commit to the interaction because he's nervous/inexperienced. Women pick this up in his body language and actions. She can't put her finger on it, but she can sense that something is "off" about him. He's sort broadcasting at a different frequency than the normal guys. So he's probably going to get a harsh rejection at worst* or friendzone at best.

*Eye rolls are Mike's personal favorite lol.

 

[AlphaNate]

Men aren't supposed to act like men REEEEEEEE

 

[Infern0]

Ill type out a detailed response later because this was me to a T but for now ill just say its usually because of ****ed up parenting.

 

[Epicwinguy]

I lost my virginity at 28.

General issues:

1. Very strict parents. No extra-curricular activities were allowed. Just school and work.

2. Commuted to college. Graduated top of my class, but only knew five people in the whole school (who were also commuters).

3. Very introverted. Also social anxiety.

4. Never had a social circle. Even today, I hang out with friends from work. I have some acquaintances from dance class, but not to hang out with outside of there.

Looks Issue

1. When your guy friend tells you that you are "not a bad looking guy" or "you look ok/fine," he's being sincere/honest. But in this time of extreme hypergamy, women don't see it that way at all. Average is the new ugly.

Biggest issue

1. While looks are very important, I think the late bloomer guys have a serious inner game issue CAUSED by "General Issues" or similar to those. YMMV.

What I'm about to say is very difficult to describe exactly in words, but it's important, so I'll try my best....

When you meet a woman that want to date or have sex with, you mentally have to be 100 PERCENT in the game, and you have to truly fit the role of a person with AT LEAST a normal dating/sex life (or more).

An inexperienced or late bloomer guy will have some subtle or not so subtle hesitation and timidness. He's not able to FULLY commit to the interaction because he's nervous/inexperienced. Women pick this up in his body language and actions. She can't put her finger on it, but she can sense that something is "off" about him. He's sort broadcasting at a different frequency than the normal guys. So he's probably going to get a harsh rejection at worst* or friendzone at best.

*Eye rolls are Mike's personal favorite lol.

So what can a guy do about this if he is inexperienced? How can he stop giving off these inexperienced vibes?

 

[Who Dares Win]

I would say most of the reasons fall in the family situation or the unfavourable market, even worse when they are coupled.

By family reasons I include single mother beta father, childhood upbringing and the situations you find youirself in due to them.

When it comes of market not so much to say just the guy:girl ratio itself can make a lot of difference to which you may add a status seeking delirium where you either sit at the top or you are as good as those sitting at the bottom.

I dont wanna throw some clichè in here but if I had a cool older brother to teach me and if I was living in eastern europe instead of southern europe I would have had a double digit sexual partnet count by the age I lost my virginity.

Btw very great point from Mike regarding certain guys broadcasting on different frequencies, its something hard to explain but that we can still notice.

 

[homie]

So what can a guy do about this if he is inexperienced? How can he stop giving off these inexperienced vibes?

By getting experience lol

 

[Sam Harlo]

So what can a guy do about this if he is inexperienced? How can he stop giving off these inexperienced vibes?

slowly get used to being around them

 

[Epicwinguy]

By getting experience lol

Is this a troll answer? How do you get this experience if you're that bad off?

 

[BeTheChange]

Is this a troll answer? How do you get this experience if you're that bad off?

They're called social skills for a reason.

The more time you spend with people (including women) the better you get at dealing with them.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I think I'm kind of a late bloomer in general. Game changer for me was when I began dating what basically was my favorite girl ever.

She was a disaster, I never looked the same at women after her. Every time I see a single 10 all I can think of is how fuucked up she must be. Women have to prove themselves to me now ori just think they are psycho.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

It starts from before high school even tbh. I'd say 5th or 6th grade is when it starts to get important, maybe even before that. If you have parents or are surrounded by an environment constantly telling you that talking to the other sex is bad, then you will definitely feel weird and awkward once it does happen. Especially if it's from a young age. The more strict the parents are, the worse off the kid is. Part of it is personality too though. Some kids are just genetically made to have personalities that are unaffected by how others want them to act so it doesn't matter. Other times, they break them.

I think the most important part of it is dealing with girls at a younger age while NOT being told how to act around them or how to give them special treatment just because they're girls. Then growing up while still dealing with girls and not being told how to act or how different they are. Then you have a general and natural understanding of women. The only time you can be told how to act differently is if they come and ask you themselves. But otherwise, no. That's probably the worst thing you can do to be honest, and that's probably the biggest reason why men have problems with women in the first place.

 

[Trump]

I dont understand how guys always say "social life social life social life" AND "status status status".

Social life:

What guy in your social group, who is COMPETING with you, is going to go out of his way to introduce you to a young, good looking educated girl? If anything, he will BAD MOUTH you to prevent you from getting the girl.

What girl, who is more competitive than a professional athlete, is going to out of her way to introduce you to a young, good looking educated girl? If anything, she will keep you as an orbiter.

Think about it. It's to your social groups BENEFIT you are single. It gives them LEVERAGE over you. Why would they go out of their way to discontinue it?

Status:

Again a lot guys point to this issue. It has nothing to do with ANYTHING. Status does not equate to girls. Money does not equate to girls. Assets does not equate to girls.

I have more assets than I know what to do with. I have more game than 99.9% of people I know. I cannot get 30+ year single women to call me back.

Girls are about: height, hair, and not being a pushover. Social group, status, money, assets, cars, condos, credit cards, all scapegoats to make us FEEL better about ourselves.

 

[Mike32ct]

So what can a guy do about this if he is inexperienced? How can he stop giving off these inexperienced vibes?

Great question. I don't have an answer. It took me years just to get a sense of the problem itself .

I don't think it's an insurmountable problem, but I have to give it a lot more thought.

I try to be one of the most honest posters here. While I would love to give an answer, I'm not one to make stuff up.

Still looking for the answer myself.

 

[Infern0]

Alright time for a more detailed response.

So I was a late bloomer, i've actually been criticised on this site for that, which i find the guys who do that to be very sad but there you go.

Reason why?

My mum has BPD, it's basically that simple.

So i was raised by an unstable mother, BPD, feminist, all kinds of ****ed up. just bought me up all wrong.

Any type of masculinity was punished SEVERELY, and when you are a kid, you can't just walk away, so eventually you realize you need to just stop showing those traits. You also minimize your mum's issues because it's just a way to cope with living in a hellhole.

It doesn't end when you leave the home because it's all you know.

No confidence, self worth, self belief, raised to belive blue pill stuff, raised to hate masculinity etc etc etc.

How did it come to an end?

Oneitis for a BPD and all the joy that comes with that, did the research, found out about all my own problems and busted my ass to change.

Finally made it bros (but still get criticized by middle aged men for not having my life 100% on point by the age of 30, shot bros)