Dropping a girl because of too many orbiters, good idea?

[DreamAgain]

As much as I hate to admit it, girls with a lot of orbiters irritate me tremendously. I have been seeing this girl recently and she has many good qualities, but the fact that she is entertaining attention from all these "friends" is something that just bothers me.

Are they getting anywhere with her? To my knowledge, no. Am I? Yes. But the fact that she won't completely cut these guys off makes me suspicious that she will eventually monkey branch onto one, or just outright cheat on me. This comes off as very insecure and beta, but I can't seem to eliminate this doubt from my mind. With how fickle women are, it just takes being in the right place at the right time for an orbiter to bust through.

So, I think I'm going to have to abandon ship on this girl, but I just wanted to ask you guys, is this a stupid reason to drop her? I outright negged one of these "friends" in a text conversation with her and I could tell immediately that she noticed I was butthurt and insecure about it.

I would go No Contact but so many attractive girls play this same game, so it seems like you can't escape it no matter where you look.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You are correct; it is insecure and beta. Orbiters are irrelevant. You simply negotiate her away from them when she asks to be the girlfriend. If she's just a plate, why would you care?

Women go for the strongest man. If you don't get a handle on this, you'll create the self fulfilling prophecy you fear.

 

[Roober]

If a girl is totally into you, any attention she gives to these guys will be dramatically reduced. If she is unsure, she will continue to keep the orbiters "in orbit"

 

[DreamAgain]

If a girl is totally into you, any attention she gives to these guys will be dramatically reduced. If she is unsure, she will continue to keep the orbiters "in orbit"

That makes sense thanks Roober, if her interest level was higher she wouldn't be behaving that way.

It seems like another lesson not to waste time with women with low/lukewarm interest levels.

 

[devilkingx2]

If she's intentionally leading them on, dump her. (Attention whoring like that and fvcking with innocent guy's heads isn't exactly the sign of a good woman)

If they're clearly friend zoned and don't have a chance and she treats them like friends or acquaintances, then there's nothing to worry about.

 

[Glassguy]

As much as I hate to admit it, girls with a lot of orbiters irritate me tremendously. I have been seeing this girl recently and she has many good qualities, but the fact that she is entertaining attention from all these "friends" is something that just bothers me.

Are they getting anywhere with her? To my knowledge, no. Am I? Yes. But the fact that she won't completely cut these guys off makes me suspicious that she will eventually monkey branch onto one, or just outright cheat on me. This comes off as very insecure and beta, but I can't seem to eliminate this doubt from my mind. With how fickle women are, it just takes being in the right place at the right time for an orbiter to bust through.

So, I think I'm going to have to abandon ship on this girl, but I just wanted to ask you guys, is this a stupid reason to drop her? I outright negged one of these "friends" in a text conversation with her and I could tell immediately that she noticed I was butthurt and insecure about it.

I would go No Contact but so many attractive girls play this same game, so it seems like you can't escape it no matter where you look.

Are you smashing her?

 

[wifehunter]

I use the orbiters, as a distraction, so I can get away without being noticed. Works great!

 

[bigneil]

Subtitled: Should I date fat girls?

The hotter the girl, the more orbiters.

 

[zekko]

As much as I hate to admit it, girls with a lot of orbiters irritate me tremendously. I have been seeing this girl recently and she has many good qualities, but the fact that she is entertaining attention from all these "friends" is something that just bothers me.

From an evolutionary standpoint, I don't think that it is beta or insecure at all to be annoyed by a woman with too many orbiters. Guys here tend to dismiss orbiters as clumsy AFCs who don't get any. But every male she hangs out with wants to bang her, and if women are as slvtty as they say around here, she is likely banging some of them.

If a guy wants his sperm and genetic material to be passed on, the more guys who are banging her, the less likely it is that his seed will be the one that survives. That's why guys like women who are chaste, and tend to despise women who sleep around too much. If she's entertaining too many males, it's only natural to be irritated by it. IMO.

 

[wifehunter]

From an evolutionary standpoint, I don't think that it is beta or insecure at all to be annoyed by a woman with too many orbiters. Guys here tend to dismiss orbiters as clumsy AFCs who don't get any. But every male she hangs out with wants to bang her, and if women are as slvtty as they say around here, she is likely banging some of them.

If a guy wants his sperm and genetic material to be passed on, the more guys who are banging her, the less likely it is that his seed will be the one that survives. That's why guys like women who are chaste, and tend to despise women who sleep around too much. If she's entertaining too many males, it's only natural to be irritated by it. IMO.

Especially, after there has already been clear communication of mutual attraction.

If not, let it slide.

 

[Roober]

That makes sense thanks Roober, if her interest level was higher she wouldn't be behaving that way.

It seems like another lesson not to waste time with women with low/lukewarm interest levels.

That is the way I have seen it happen. They are likely still there "just in case", but she won't get lunch with them, talk about them, etc. after a period of time. Like @deesade says, they will likely always be there though...

 

[lizardking82]

A woman that has a lot of orbiters, does not have them by chance. She has them because she is inviting them, she likes having them. I would argue that a woman that has a lot of orbiters probably needs them to keep her confidence intact and that's the first sign of an unhealthy woman. But then again, it is so hard nowadays to find a woman that doesn't keep orbiters in this way. I would just say, look at how she treats her orbiters. If you see a lot of guys commenting on her pics, either her pics are explicit, or she's talkin' to some of those guys in private.

Havin' a social media and a social life is not a crime, but when it's too active, meh, I would tread carefully and treat the person as a ****buddy at best.

 

[zekko]

Knowing all of this allows you to relax because things are more outside your control than you think they are. My experience with hot women is that you have to give them space. Your insecurities, jealousy, and the restrictions you put on them is what's going to make her lose atttaction for you and stray.

This idea that you just have to accept their orbiters sounds too much like buying into her frame to me. I say let her stray, I'd rather do without.

Alphas and betas are mostly just cartoon characters. I know a guy who is an orbiter type who couldn't get laid to save his life. But I think guys like that are nearly as rare as the true alphas. He's not a beta, he's way lower than that. Betas can get laid now and then.

Point is, if she surrounds herself by male "friends" and admirers, odds that they are really all just harmless orbiter types are low. Besides, if she's that into seeking other male attention, she's probably not that into you.

She's free to hang around with as many men as she wants. Just don't expect me to stick around and put up with it.

 

[DreamAgain]

I mean, it really comes down to interest level now that I think about it. Which is weird because, I'm actually quite honest with myself if I'm going to "lose" the competition for a girl to a better guy. He can have a better career than me, be better looking, being more interesting/sociable, whatever the reason is, and ultimately it comes down to me improving myself and being the prize.

But in reality this is not what I see. It's so common that I see guys with no career aspirations, no education, no manners, but yet they still seem to capture hot girls' attentions. These guys are the typically party "bros" that young, attractive women love to keep in their orbit. What I notice more than anything is that girl's just seem to enjoy being around these types of guys because they aren't serious at all and just always keep the situation relaxed and fun. But I can't for the life of me understand why, when to me they come across as juvenile and boring (but perhaps this says more about the types of girls I've been going after than anything else...)

 

[resilient]

But in reality this is not what I see. It's so common that I see guys with no career aspirations, no education, no manners, but yet they still seem to capture hot girls' attentions.

There's something about those guys that consciously aware or not, tap all her emotional receptors on all levels for excitement, drama and she craves more.

She's got a fever guys...

 

[ubercat]

You are correct; it is insecure and beta. Orbiters are irrelevant. You simply negotiate her away from them when she asks to be the girlfriend. If she's just a plate, why would you care?

Women go for the strongest man. If you don't get a handle on this, you'll create the self fulfilling prophecy you fear.

Hmm does this work? Taking such useful resources off a woman seems contrary to their nature. Especially when there are a lot of them and they are going to only be too happy to tell her that you are a control freak who should be dumped. Most good woman I've seen dropped their male friends when they get a boyfriend and just retain the ones who are in couples

 

[zekko]

Like Anti-Dump used to say (back when there were more quality women), you BUY a relationship. You don't build one. You pick a woman who already has everything you want. You don't pick a broken woman and try to fix her.

Agreed. Depending on her interest level, I may or may not be able reframe her. But I don't have to put up with her sh!t either.

If her orbiter problem is a small one, you might be able to fix it. If she has guys under every rock, she's only good for a plate, and I personally wouldn't bother with her at all.

I've been able to find well behaved attractive women so far, so I'm not desperate. I certainly don't want or need a chick that comes with so much baggage in the form of a bunch of orbiters. Pass. I want to date a woman, not a woman and her male entourage.

 

[bigneil]

Would she be cool with you hanging out with strippers and hookers?

I bet not, though either would fvck you if you paid them. Meanwhile these men would fvck her if she gave them a chance.

The point is, it is not about whether she would fvck them or not, it is about the disrespect for the relationship by hanging around people who would fvck her.

If she cannot understand that, or does not care, then she is not worth your time.

I see your point (besides equating hookers who by definition sell sex with strippers who are only 70% likely to sell sex - many are simply professional c*ck teases), but this is taking it too far. A hot girl can sleep with any person she meets. Likewise a man with a gorgeous girlfriend can have most any woman. We miss the point when we start to focus on any one individual and try to restrict their access. It's a confession of our feeling inferior. We need to let her be totally free and hope she chooses us. You are either the best or you are out of your league and laying down the law. If she wants to go to bars let her, and if she never calls you back, good riddance. Otherwise wait until she reaches out and assume you are still her favorite.

 

[ubercat]

So the jury is in. Plate status only and as the guys said stay chill and give her room. I wouldn't do this by ignoring her obviously, just invite her along to things u do anyway.

 

[lizardking82]

I see your point (besides equating hookers who sell sex with strippers who are only 70% likely to sell sex - many are simply professional c*ck teases), but this is taking it too far. A hot girl can sleep with any person she meets. Likewise a man with a gorgeous girlfriend can have most any woman. We miss the point when we start to focus on any one individual and try to restrict their access. It's a confession of our feeling inferior. We need to let her be totally free and hope she chooses us. You are either the best or you are out of your league and laying down the law.

This works fine if you're lookin' to simply have some fun, I agree. But when you want sth deeper and LTR type, you cannot just say "hey babe, go do whatever you feel like, **** my feelings, **** the kids, **** our living together, go find yourself" LOL