"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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When Girls See your Music Library and go WTF

AlexKaiser

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So I jam to songs by Aqua, Audiomachine, Within Temptation, Slipknot, ENT!TY, Evanescence, Skrillex, Paramore, Flyleaf. Birdy and Naglfar. Not exclusively, but if you put my iPod on shuffle you're sure to hear these pop up. From the get go, I listened to whatever the hell I wanted to because it sounded good. If I wanted to jam to Carmina Burana or Clint Mansell's Lux Aeterna one moment, to Eminem and or LMFAO the other, I did.

But now, I have more people, more girls, asking me what kind of music I listen to, and I'm always stumped on this question or give a vague response. I even pretended my iPod was dead when I was taking a girl out for a ride just because I didn't have enough rap or country music on it and didn't want to be caught having Indie Pop and symphonic instrumentals pouring out my speakers and have to answer "The hell are you listening to?".

It is a trait of the DJ to be confident. Birdy, Paramore and Flyleaf make some god damn good songs. However I can't help but feel like letting tons of soft feminine songs pour through my speakers while a girl's with me will give the wrong idea, makes me nervous, self-conscious. I don't want to lose a lay because a girl doesn't like my music taste.

Do I just hide all of my "gay/girly" and femmy music on a playlist or a different device, or just not give a crap and just listen to whatever the hell I wanted to, like I've been?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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derricklerrick

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Men who do more gay things frequently get away with it so if the girl is really attracted to you she wouldn't mind you listening to what you believe is feminine music. Personally I would stop worrying about what others think and go on with listening to the music.

I used to think blasting rap songs in the background when talking to friends/girls would make them think I was cool before but no one really cared.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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Who the hell cares? When a woman asks you what I listen to, I tell her "everything". And it really is everything. I'll listen to some of that new pop 5hit, 60s beatnik music, death metal, piano instrumentals, punk, experimental, etc. I'm all over the map.

There's also nothing wrong with setting aside music for fvcking. Whenever you ask a woman who's ready to fvck what she wants to listen to, she'll respond with "anything you want". However, that doesn't mean you throw on a Napalm Death album. Pick something she won't hate having sex to.
 

SmooveMooves

Master Don Juan
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Do I just hide all of my "gay/girly" and femmy music on a playlist or a different device, or just not give a crap and just listen to whatever the hell I wanted to, like I've been?
You know what to do. Hide that shít. A bunch of guys are going to hop on here and tell you "A real DJ doesn't care be DJ enough it won't matter." But that's not the way the real world works. Think of another "gay" hobby. Say you collect action figurines. Would you have them on display when a woman was coming over? No. You'd toss them in a box so she wouldn't think you were some giant weirdo.

This doesn't mean you have to change your music taste. There is an app called Pandora. When you're with women goto Pandora and choose a curated playlist. It will play generic billboard songs that "everyone" listens to. You can't go wrong. When asked about your music taste say you listen to "everything." List a few genres.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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