donnythedon
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 32
What are your best tips to stop being the nice guy? not just with ladies but life in general
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
how to stop being the nice guy in life?
- Thread starter donnythedon
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
sch
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2017
- Messages
- 64
- Reaction score
- 49
Read books that change your point of view on life, from Rational Male by Rollo Tomasi to Stoicism.
Do martial arts, pickup, weightlifting, anything competitive.
Make a decision to stop being a nice guy, and act accordingly. This is a final step, and nobody can make this step for you.
donnythedon
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 32
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Make a commitment to being COMPLETELY honest in your life. This will force you to because the person you want to be. Then put yourself first if you are not happy that your needs are being met, you can not make anyone else truly happy.
Understand that being 'nice' is just another method of manipulation, and women see this as dishonest. Be direct and go after what you want and stop trying to nice your way to success. It doesn't work.
Understand that being 'nice' is just another method of manipulation, and women see this as dishonest. Be direct and go after what you want and stop trying to nice your way to success. It doesn't work.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You dont need to stop being nice, just know your limits, you probably had bad exoeriences with people and you learned from it hopefully, be yourself, you dont need to change your personality because of women, ofcourse dont be women in relationship, but if she doesnt see your value, **** her, it is her loss, wanting to be something else is a wasfe of person you are.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
Know and understand how cruel people can be. Know that women are not an except at all. Try to ingest at least part of the nature of women. And read of horrible stories of how women have ****ed their man over. That last part will cauterize all possible wounds you have left in your heart. I didn't need to TRY to change my behavior at that point, I naturally just did without even really realizing it.
TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2014
- Messages
- 2,327
- Reaction score
- 1,419
-Generally, there's a difference between being a nice guy and being a 'nice guy'; it's all about intent.
>A nice guy is just friendly and polite to people regardless of outcome. It's just the way he is, he treats everyone equally. He intends nothing, but is authentic and genuinely charismatic.
>A 'nice guy' is nice to people because he wants something from them, whether he even realises it himself or not. He is usually overly-polite and overly-familiar with certain people who he thinks will be of benefit to him; particularly women and those men he considers to be more powerful. He's a suck-up and playing a role, acting in ways he thinks he should; actually not a very nice guy at all.
-Develop a set of personal standards that you mark people against. You don't (and probably shouldn't) openly communicate those standards. Rather you quietly judge people for yourself. If they don't meet the cut, don't go out of your way to make it work, in fact just walk away from them, may be until such time they meet your standards, otherwise may be forever. You're not going to be friends with everyone, so don't expect to be.
-Do things for others. But do more things for yourself.
-Learn to enjoy your own company.
-Your investments in other people should be roughly equal to their investment in you, particularly acquaintances and friends; family is slightly different. If you are feeling drained by someone in some way, you're being a nice guy. If you are constantly drained by someone for 6 months or more, you're being a 'nice guy'; you are allowing yourself to be taken for granted because you think one day they will return the favour.
-Don't take girls out on dates until they earn the privilege and show serious interest in you as a person. Mostly, make plans of your own and invite women of interest along with you. This way, you put your plans first and they are accompanying you for their benefit and your added bonus.
>A nice guy is just friendly and polite to people regardless of outcome. It's just the way he is, he treats everyone equally. He intends nothing, but is authentic and genuinely charismatic.
>A 'nice guy' is nice to people because he wants something from them, whether he even realises it himself or not. He is usually overly-polite and overly-familiar with certain people who he thinks will be of benefit to him; particularly women and those men he considers to be more powerful. He's a suck-up and playing a role, acting in ways he thinks he should; actually not a very nice guy at all.
-Develop a set of personal standards that you mark people against. You don't (and probably shouldn't) openly communicate those standards. Rather you quietly judge people for yourself. If they don't meet the cut, don't go out of your way to make it work, in fact just walk away from them, may be until such time they meet your standards, otherwise may be forever. You're not going to be friends with everyone, so don't expect to be.
-Do things for others. But do more things for yourself.
-Learn to enjoy your own company.
-Your investments in other people should be roughly equal to their investment in you, particularly acquaintances and friends; family is slightly different. If you are feeling drained by someone in some way, you're being a nice guy. If you are constantly drained by someone for 6 months or more, you're being a 'nice guy'; you are allowing yourself to be taken for granted because you think one day they will return the favour.
-Don't take girls out on dates until they earn the privilege and show serious interest in you as a person. Mostly, make plans of your own and invite women of interest along with you. This way, you put your plans first and they are accompanying you for their benefit and your added bonus.
Last edited:
donnythedon
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 32
Thanks for all the advice, i appreciate it. I think the main problem is i act like a nice guy out of fear of the persons reaction or thoughts towards me if im not the nice guy people expect.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Your overdoing it. We can treat our friends and acquantances good that treat us good. But rewarding bad behavior and no reciprocation with continued niceness is BS.... You don't have to be an a-hole up front, but if someone violates you or robs you don't they deserve it?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
donnythedon
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 32
Exactly, id call it cowardly to be honest. at least this thread has give me some motivation thanks man
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
first you need to understand why you are being perceived as the "nice guy"
then you can work from there , you dont necessarily need to be a selfish ignorant a$$hole , but you do need to concentrate on what works for you first and others second
then you can work from there , you dont necessarily need to be a selfish ignorant a$$hole , but you do need to concentrate on what works for you first and others second
donnythedon
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 32
Im percieved as the nice guy in general because i dont have it in me to tell people how it is and i fear the outcome of telling people how i feel
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
You shouldn't mind losing those friends and associates. You can't go fighting everyone who gets over, but you don't have to keep allowing it.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
EmotionalGeek
Senior Don Juan
That's interesting concept. Can you elaborate?
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Not. Some folks don't know how to say no, it doesn't arise, they want to be a "good friend". Not realizing the person asking of the resource is not doing that for them.
TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2014
- Messages
- 2,327
- Reaction score
- 1,419
It's not always manipulative, only in the context of a beta orbiter / smarmy wannabe player. As I've said in my post, being nice is only manipulation when you want something in return. Being authentically nice because that's who you are is nobody's business but one's own.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
You are being 'nice' with the expectation of reciprocity. This is why we have "Red Pill Rage"... when men realize that being nice will get you nothing in return. Otherwise, why would men rage? If you are being nice for the sake of being nice, then why get upset that the girl you love... who you have been so nice to... buying her things... dropping whatever you are doing to help her... let's herself get fvcked by a dude that treats her like garbage and wipes his c0ck on her curtains as he walks out her door.
Read the posts of the guys that come on her for the first time many have the same formula. "I don't know what happened... I was so nice to her... I did everything for her, and all she wants is to fvck bad boys!" They think being nice will get them laid... it won't.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Personally I DO expect reciprocity on some level. I SHARE gifts with people who SHARE gifts with me. I loan money to people who will loan to me. I'll help people who will help me.
I cut off people that think it's a one way street. This is the way many of us operate, many of us don't like to continue giving into a black hole.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.