The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[xstang77]

Where are you guys finding dates so easily? Maybe it's a location thing for me, I'm really struggling never been this depressed in my life to where I'm almost having anxiety attacks over the situation and the loneliness. I live alone and have no friends all moved away.

 

[exhausted]

Where are you guys finding dates so easily? Maybe it's a location thing for me, I'm really struggling never been this depressed in my life to where I'm almost having anxiety attacks over the situation and the loneliness. I live alone and have no friends all moved away.

Allow yourself to be sad but when u feel an attack like that come on make sure u do something to occupy your mind. Video games, lift, run, hit a heavy or speed bag, put in a movie. Something to occupy your mind. Call a sister and talk. I find getting a little fire and anger going is good sometimes when u start feeling that low as it pulls u up from that a bit.

 

[Roober]

Where are you guys finding dates so easily? Maybe it's a location thing for me, I'm really struggling never been this depressed in my life to where I'm almost having anxiety attacks over the situation and the loneliness. I live alone and have no friends all moved away.

It certainly isn't easy. 4 of the 5 I have gone on dates were from OLD. the other I met at my son's Bday party. Just start cold approaching. You see an attractive woman, SAY SOMETHING! Eye contact, smile and "how are you doing?" Trust me, rejection is better than regret. Even if you don't number close or do anything more than that, you can tell when a woman is interested and that alone does wonders for boosting you up.

Quit wasting time...
-If you are not working, at the gym, or or sleeping.. get the fvck out of your house...
-when you lift, focus! no more pvssying around like you've done in the past. It better fvcking burn like hell
-No TV
-No videogames
-Read, read, read
-talk to people!!! friends or family, even if calling or texting
-go make new friends - volunteer for local events, meetup.com, be a regular at a bar (not to get drunk!)
-like any skill.. you need to practice, practice, practice

I need to do more cold approaches to be honest as OLD is rough for us average looking guys without good pics. I get mostly 6-7s which is 90% of the population on OLD. I only did two last week (one number close), and I haven't done any this week... sigh... I tried one with my boys this week, but they were wayyyy to rambunctious and I had to jet.

Try DJ boot camp!
Also try this: If you make eye contact with ANYONE... smile and say something! I have started doing this daily with random azz people, and gotten into some good convos...

 

[Carpathian]

OLD is a brutal business alright. It can work well but you have to be patient and have a thick skin at times. Women flick through the ads and the hundreds of messages they get per day looking for things to dislike, not the other way round.
It is harsh when a woman looks at your profile (especially if you winked/messaged them first to get them there) and they don't wink or message you back - i.e. they discount you. It makes you feel small. It is brutal. My hit rate in terms of getting some correspondence going from female ad surfers on match.com was about 15% from my records. I hear some guys it is almost zero...
One thing is for sure; the semi decent women on OLD get completely inundated.
I met my current GF on OLD and have been with her for seven months. I practice my day-game all the time now as a part of my life in the manner you describe @Roober Sometimes you get totally blanked by women. You gotta get through the "no's" to get through to the "yes's".

Even if you are having a bad patch with no sex (other than your right hand) that is still no reason to reach out to the ex or go weak if she messages you. I know it is hard if you need a BJ but got to think the long game. You will move on eventually - you have to be patient.

 

[xstang77]

Allow yourself to be sad but when u feel an attack like that come on make sure u do something to occupy your mind. Video games, lift, run, hit a heavy or speed bag, put in a movie. Something to occupy your mind. Call a sister and talk. I find getting a little fire and anger going is good sometimes when u start feeling that low as it pulls u up from that a bit.

I find the attacks happening when I get out of my solitude and go to a store just to be around and see people, it feels like it's making me more and more distant from my ex, I talk to family but they don't know what to say and are tired of hearing about it. I just want to let her know that I was willing to move out to her area. I'm just in shock how she didn't even try to talk things out and kicking myself for acting cool and understanding about it.

 

[Carpathian]

I find the attacks happening when I get out of my solitude and go to a store just to be around and see people, it feels like it's making me more and more distant from my ex, I talk to family but they don't know what to say and are tired of hearing about it. I just want to let her know that I was willing to move out to her area. I'm just in shock how she didn't even try to talk things out and kicking myself for acting cool and understanding about it.

Don't alienate your family and friends with constantly going on about your breakup. After a while they just do not want to hear about it.
Dude, you have to let it go and meet another woman. It is her fukking loss.....

 

[xstang77]

Don't alienate your family and friends with constantly going on about your breakup. After a while they just do not want to hear about it.
Dude, you have to let it go and meet another woman. It is her fukking loss.....

I'm just stuck on how great of a score she was and how short lived it was to end so abruptly with no closure. It's crazy lonely and so difficult to meet interested females in my area.

 

[Glassguy]

I find the attacks happening when I get out of my solitude and go to a store just to be around and see people, it feels like it's making me more and more distant from my ex, I talk to family but they don't know what to say and are tired of hearing about it. I just want to let her know that I was willing to move out to her area. I'm just in shock how she didn't even try to talk things out and kicking myself for acting cool and understanding about it.

In the end, it doesnt matter if she tried to talk things out or not. Her mind was made up and you were not going to change it.

You and your own emotions are all that you can control, so get them back NOW. Believe me, you did the right thing by acting cool and understanding about it. I hope you had a smile on your face and told her thanks for her being the one to end it so you didnt have to.....

You can decide, today, whether you are going to sit around and mope about this or move on. Tomorrow you will make the same decision and so forth. Trust me, eventually you will wake up with someone else on your mind and she will only enter your thoughts on rare occasions, most likely not good thoughts either.

The faster you decide to stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, thinking about "why" she did this or that, the faster you are going to get recharged to get back out there and find someone BETTER than she was. You will test drive a few, most wont work out, eventually you will find someone who you want to have an actual relationship with. During that time you should be working on mastering your frame. Get your game back and most importantly, make sure it is solid enough that when you do get into another relationship again (and you will) you will be in control and not go from mystery/challenge to a doormat and be in this position all over again.

Keep your chin up and hang in there. Make today the day that you start getting over it and moving on.

 

[exhausted]

I'm just stuck on how great of a score she was and how short lived it was to end so abruptly with no closure. It's crazy lonely and so difficult to meet interested females in my area.

Apparently she wasn't that great or she would be around.
Do what u need to do to stay away from those feelings of anxiety and attacks.
I don't suffer from attacks tho my son has adhd and at 17 when he gets that anxiety and that feeling comes on , playing a video game for a bit or shooting pool or riding the ex bike immediately alleviates that attack. It's like he can get focused on something immediately to slow it down. Not sure it that will help u but doubt laying in a bed will.

Something that helped me get thro a divorce 10 years ago was when i found that lonliness and depression creeping in hard i would watch numerous episodes of scrubs to make myself laugh.

Find something.

 

[Carpathian]

I'm just stuck on how great of a score she was and how short lived it was to end so abruptly with no closure. It's crazy lonely and so difficult to meet interested females in my area.

Dude, you need to get a grip. You have oneitis massively. You have to pick yourself and get out there. Crazy lonely? Dude, WTF are you doing all day? Get down the gym, running club, cycling club, triathlon, baking, get back to school/college, learn Slovak , get reading. FFS man, there is a ton of stuff you can do, the world is your oyster, a load of ways to meet new people. Even if many of them are guys, no matter - somone, some day may have a cute friend or sister. GET THE FVKK OUT THERE and stop feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself.

 

[xstang77]

She went from saying she wants me to be the father of her current kid and us having one together to ghosting for 4 days then dump through text, saying she's not over her past and not ready to move out here and it's all on her yada yada. Guess it screws with me because I'm used to that kind of hot and cold crazy with my bpd ex and her coming back, however this one hasn't cracked at all in over 5 weeks.

 

[xstang77]

Thank you guys for all the support, I do have severe oneitis, girl was an 8.5 and treated me like a king and it looks like everything on the market is a downgrade. Wish I had friends like you guys around here we could go chase Pvssy together, all the bars Around here are either filled with hoodrats or it's a sausage fest lol.

 

[Roober]

Thank you guys for all the support, I do have severe oneitis, girl was an 8.5 and treated me like a king and it looks like everything on the market is a downgrade. Wish I had friends like you guys around here we could go chase Pvssy together, all the bars Around here are either filled with hoodrats or it's a sausage fest lol.

Then do other things. Your making a lot of excuses to wallow. If she was willing to drop you, she is not that great.

Make two lists... things you liked about her and things you didnt like... go through the list you did like, then ask yourself, how many are really unique to her? Once you begin to take off the rose colored glasses, you see the person she really was...

She fooled you just like I got fooled. She lured you in, got you hooked, then revealed her real self...

 

[xstang77]

Day 23 since I sent a text on Christmas Eve with no reply, have a date this coming weekend with some skinny artsy girl that seems atleast mediocre but lives about 40 minutes away, kind of early to set up but we'll see if it happens, it's something to do. Got hit up by a past slump buster asking to do a 3 sum with her and her friend so there's that.

 

[wonderer]

Yesterday she text me 3 times after roughly 2 weeks, messages went:

Her: hey caramel (nickname she used to give me) happy new year!

5 mins later: why have you not been texting me?

25 mins later: come on... dont be a bastard on new years eve

I want to see if I can turn this into a fwb, shes not in the country at the moment, so I wasnt going to reply for a few days, and reply with "been busy" ive now decided that she needs to feel the loss of her decision, so thinking not to reply and keep NC, will drive her nuts, see if she reaches out again whilst me dating other women.

Completed day 30 of NC yesterday, only time she reached out was to say happy new year... I was feeling angry about the way I was treated over chirtsmas, how she tried to purposely hurt me, and when we got back together how she would just start talking about f*cking this other guy she left me for like it was nothing. Anger turned to sadness more recently.

I started sating a different girl very soon after and kept me a bit occupied, still thought about the ex lots, but this plate is gone now, I need more plates, need to do cold approaches, been trying to focus on my health, buying new clothes, my job, keeping busy with friends and family.

I'm still in a pretty bad place, getting better, she buttered me up so hard then flipped, became hurtful. Here's to the next 30.

 

[exhausted]

Completed day 30 of NC yesterday, only time she reached out was to say happy new year... I was feeling angry about the way I was treated over chirtsmas, how she tried to purposely hurt me, and when we got back together how she would just start talking about f*cking this other guy she left me for like it was nothing. Anger turned to sadness more recently.

I started sating a different girl very soon after and kept me a bit occupied, still thought about the ex lots, but this plate is gone now, I need more plates, need to do cold approaches, been trying to focus on my health, buying new clothes, my job, keeping busy with friends and family.

I'm still in a pretty bad place, getting better, she buttered me up so hard then flipped, became hurtful. Here's to the next 30.

She talked about banging another guy??
Fvck that skank *****.
No sadness have some fire.
No girl disrespects you like that.
She is a LOW life

 

[wonderer]

She talked about banging another guy??
Fvck that skank *****.
No sadness have some fire.
No girl disrespects you like that.
She is a LOW life

she started seeing someone else when we had been going out for 3 months, she then came back to me, I didnt know what I had happened between them or what the full story was, then one day I took her out for dinner and she was talking about him, talked about how they had arguments about using protection, about how he put his clothes on and stormed off, how she said to him she though he used her for sex. Basically telling me they were f*cking. My heart sank. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and what she was openly talking to me about with no emotion considering she was with me and she knew how strong my feelings were for her.

 

[exhausted]

she started seeing someone else when we had been going out for 3 months, she then came back to me, I didnt know what I had happened between them or what the full story was, then one day I took her out for dinner and she was talking about him, talked about how they had arguments about using protection, about how he put his clothes on and stormed off, how she said to him she though he used her for sex. Basically telling me they were f*cking. My heart sank. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and what she was openly talking to me about with no emotion considering she was with me and she knew how strong my feelings were for her.

Bingo no emotion for u ,she is a bpd or just a God awful person.

I carry myself with the thought that my dad is watching how someone is treating me and how I react.

What would u do if your dad witnessed this? Sit there and take it like a *****? Or stand up and say i dont like *****s. Bye. ?

Your sadness should be overwhelemed by your fire.
Would u want ur wife to tslk to u like this?
Didnt think so.
U are better off.

 

[xstang77]

It's really ****ty but atleast she told you, I prefer to know what I'm getting "into".

 

[wonderer]

Bingo no emotion for u ,she is a bpd or just a God awful person.

I carry myself with the thought that my dad is watching how someone is treating me and how I react.

What would u do if your dad witnessed this? Sit there and take it like a *****? Or stand up and say i dont like *****s. Bye. ?

Your sadness should be overwhelemed by your fire.
Would u want ur wife to tslk to u like this?
Didnt think so.
U are better off.

she has issues with her dad, deffo think she is bpd, she messed with the other guy too, deleted a photo of her and him and uploaded of a gift I gave her, then deleted my gift and put her pic with him up again. Seems like she loves to mess guys up. proper was loving me for the first 3 months then went a bit crazy. No emotion at all. Surprised no one pointed this out to me when I was posting about her.

Finding this time now after 30 days the hardest so far...