Do you pay for first date

[EmotionalGeek]

There is rather firm consensus in community that you do not pay for drinks in the club. I agree with that. I am not sure whether you should pay for first date when you ask girl out e.g. to caffe or not.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Depends on vibes I get from her, but usually not.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Depends on vibes I get from her, but usually not.

Do you try to indicate to her that you won't pay or just wait until she buys and pays and then buy your stuff?

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I usually go to a pool hall for a first date and tell them Ill pay for the pool and they can pay for drinks. Never had one say no, never not had a second date, if I asked for one.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Do you try to indicate to her that you won't pay or just wait until she buys and pays and then buy your stuff?

Imagine bill murray asking a girl if her wallet is too heavy to be lifted, basically the same tone of voice and face.

 

[oOh Nasty]

If I was American born, I probably wouldn't pay. But.

In Asian culture, whenever one invites others out to eat, he usually goes prepared to take care of the bill. If you're inviting another Asian, they'll usually offer to pay also, so it usually works out.

That being said. I'll usually pay for my sworn enemy's meal, if I was the one who did the inviting.

This is mostly the case. Unless I take trash out to eat, which I usually don't even bother with anymore.

 

[Champ Slice]

If I invite someone out I'll pay. For me that is for anyone and not just rags.

 

[Billtx49]

If we're talking food or dinner, you invite , you pay. If she offers a split check, your choice depending on her vibe.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I always pay. If she offers I respectfully decline for the first two dates. I've found sometimes women offer to pay early so they don't feel beholden to sleep with you.

 

[Omega_Dawg93]

with new women, here's the deal: on the first date, i usually ask her out, so it's implied that i'll pay. no problem. but during the date, i tell her about my 'rules,' and that during the phase, it's dutch; or if i pay one this time, she pays the next time. when most broads agree to that, it says a lot about their selfish/unselfish vibe.

in an LTR, it's usually 60/40 that i'll pay.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I expect to pay, but the girl always insists on contributing. I only go out with women whom I know have a very high interest already. Pushing yourself on a girl who isn't that interested is how you get stuck with the bill and still don't get laid.

 

[SkrooU]

I don't do dinner first-dates. Not going to put $50 into someone's belly until they have slept with me more than once and they're worth keeping around. It's my way of making sure they're not just looking for a free meal. First dates for me are either an activity or something that doesn't cost much money, like ice cream or a drink at a dive bar. I always pay for these dates (even if ultimately I'm not attracted to them) unless she's a disrespectful twit whom I won't be calling again (or if I know she's not really attracted to me); though a women almost always offers to pay anyway. On a 2nd date they all usually offer to pay, and I let them. Then we usually just take turns paying for whatever.

I've noticed many women will not offer to pay if they don't seem interested in seeing me again. It's like they want to be compensated for having made a bad investment of their time. All the women who've offered to pay on a first date have all been the ones who've asked to see me again and who have slept with me.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

I don't do dinner first-dates. Not going to put $50 into someone's belly until they have slept with me more than once and they're worth keeping around. It's my way of making sure they're not just looking for a free meal. First dates for me are either an activity or something that doesn't cost much money, like ice cream or a drink at a dive bar. I always pay for these dates (even if ultimately I'm not attracted to them) unless she's a disrespectful twit whom I won't be calling again (or if I know she's not really attracted to me); though a women almost always offers to pay anyway. On a 2nd date they all usually offer to pay, and I let them. Then we usually just take turns paying for whatever.

I've noticed many women will not offer to pay if they don't seem interested in seeing me again. It's like they want to be compensated for having made a bad investment of their time. All the women who've offered to pay on a first date have all been the ones who've asked to see me again and who have slept with me.

I found that most of the girls just like to walk in the park or some pretty street. What kind of activity do you take on dates?

 

[SkrooU]

I found that most of the girls just like to walk in the park or some pretty street. What kind of activity do you take on dates?

It depends on how I've met them. Online? Usually it's an activity like ice skating, pool, bowling, batting cages, meeting at a lake or trail for a dog walk. The last one was a disaster though because she had diarreah on a hiking trail with her dog and kept having to go off in the woods. We hit it off well but i think she was so humiliated she ghosted me lol.
Cold approach? Dive bar, happy hour for a drink, coffee, ice cream. These turn out the worse for me usually.
I met one from a gym out of my normal area and we then met at a school yard playground for 2 hours at sundown and I got to 2nd base that night.
Going to a museum can be good if she's intelligent.

 

[BeTheChange]

Would never even dream of paying for a girl I hadn't banged yet. Chump territory but to each his own. Always split the bill.

Different if a girlfriend or long term plate.

 

[Roober]

I usually go for the split bill. But it really depends on the vibe. I am really new to all of this, so still feeling it out. Had a date not go so well, so when she offered to split it, I definitely agreed.

For me, it depends on the amount and the vibe. If it is under $30, I will likely just pay the bill unless she offers to split it.

It is funny, my mom and female cousin say I should always pay...

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

LOL.
.How surprising.

 

[Serenity]

I don't mind paying and I'll proactively offer to do so on a first date. Though if she wants to impress me she'll have to either offer to split or pay next time. Usually if she offers to split I'll insist on paying and tell her she can pay next time, if I want next time to happen. If I don't want to see her again I'll accept a split.

That was about restaurants and similar. Paying for drinks is a bit different and the guidelines are less clear, it's very situational. If I like her and she seems like a fair woman I would buy a drink, if she's cool she'll buy me one. If she asks me to buy a drink I will not do it, it's fvcking rude to ask without offering first. I'll only be nice on my terms or if she deserved it. Basically sometimes it's right to do it and sometimes it's wrong, reading the situation is key here. Not black and white thinking.

 

[ubercat]

I would say IMHE if she insists on splitting the bill when you try and take care of it definitely take her up on it cuz u ain't getting any. If it comes up early bail at that point. Don't be the normal sad guy who sticks around for a nice helping of mixed messages and emotional abuse.

 

[Roober]

Making me think I should be paying the first date... may need to re-think this... I need to get my tabs lower though. First date last night, and she offered to split at end, and I was like "sure" I knew I wasn't getting any because my mom is staying with me, but I may need to re-think this...

It is kind of a double-edged sword...