Girlfriend begging me.. says she wants to change her ways

[Heweab24]

I've been dating and sleeping with this girl for 3 months. We both stay in the same building and see each other a lot. The first problem I had with her is that she had a couple of exs she was in contact with and I ended up dumping her for that. Just before I dumped her a guy 5 years younger than her who is also her subordinate at work(she's a manager) started hitting on her, and they communicate a lot over the phone. A couple of days after I dumped her she started begging me that we get back together, and during that time the youngster who was asking her out came to her place in the company of some other work colleagues to see her. That is when I found out about it him. To make the long story short we've been on and off since then and she has also been keeping in contact with this guy even though a source of mine who works with her and shares an apartment with her told me people at they're work place say they are dating but nothing happened between them(he is a friend of that young guy and the guy told him he hasn't slept with the girl yet). She used to call him and delete the entry from her call history so I wouldn't see it, but I found out about that when I tapped into her phone. She claims nothing really happned with him and she was only talking to him since i was very distant since the beginning and also because i wss always dumping her. She says she wants to change and that she loves me a lot and she has learnt from her mistake now that I've really dumped her. She's begging me to give her a chance and put the past behind. What should I do? I love her but I can never trust her again

 

[Heweab24]

Should I just sleep with her? If not how can I really get rid of her when we see each other a lot?

 

[Heweab24]

Love is who you know:

Make a concerted effort to meet more people, and make more connections.

As for this girl, I wouldn't seriously commit to anything if I were you.

Should I just sleep with her? If not how can I really get rid of her when we see each other a lot?

 

[dustmuffin]

I would dump her and cut all contact. She has very sh itty behavior. There are consequences for her actions. You need to get over your love for her. She doesn't love or respect you or she wouldn't treat you so badly. She won't change. Learn from your experience and get another girl. Throw the garbage out.

 

[El Payaso]

Once a hoe, always a hoe.

 

[Jetleg]

I hope you f*cked this b1tch real good, otherweise it would be a waste of time and affort.

She is history. @El Payaso is so right. Why bother with her, i would not even have her as a plate because you sound too much involved with her.

Bye Bye, and never contact her again.

 

[sazc]

I like what @deesade suggested but my "danger" flag is flying a "potentially crazy" sign.

The biggest hesitation for me, if you decide to demote her to plate statu, would be that you see her very frequently. If he believes that you two are getting back into a relationship, and she ends up realizing she was just 'someone' in your life, she could make your life bothersome, especially being so close.

Other than that, she doesn't sound like a quality female. This is how she behaves, she's not changing. If she was going to take you seriously, make you a priority, and make you feel secure, she would have been that person out the gate. When you mentioned you didnt like the male orbitors she had, she would have gotten rid of them.

Even for a casual relationship, you shouldn't lower your standards.

 

[Heweab24]

I like what @deesade suggested but my "danger" flag is flying a "potentially crazy" sign.

The biggest hesitation for me, if you decide to demote her to plate statu, would be that you see her very frequently. If he believes that you two are getting back into a relationship, and she ends up realizing she was just 'someone' in your life, she could make your life bothersome, especially being so close.

Other than that, she doesn't sound like a quality female. This is how she behaves, she's not changing. If she was going to take you seriously, make you a priority, and make you feel secure, she would have been that person out the gate. When you mentioned you didnt like the male orbitors she had, she would have gotten rid of them.

Even for a casual relationship, you shouldn't lower your standards.

Ok i get you. I just developed feelings for her so much that leaving her is difficult to be honest. Thank you

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ok i get you. I just developed feelings for her so much that leaving her is difficult to be honest. Thank you

Raising and keeping your standards will force her to behave better or be gone. Some of them are greedy and if your laid back and give them the benefit of the doubt will walk on you as much as they can.

 

[Heweab24]

Raising and keeping your standards will force her to behave better or be gone..

Are you saying I should kinda distance myself?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Are you saying I should kinda distance myself?

Some of her bs is violating you. Ensure your standards are met and ensure this is the only way she will be able to communicate with her.

Maintaining your standards will create a distance, right now she's disrespecting your space.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Tell her you'll try again, but remain standoffish. That way you label her as your girlfriend to her, but you go make her do all the work. Not only that, but also continue on to do as you please sexually as of you weren't in a relationship. She thinks you are happy, that way she gets happy, she does stuff for you, all the while you are cheating on her like she did to you. If she finds out, all is well, you had your fun.

Remember: do whatever the F*CK you wanna do.

 

[Heweab24]

Tell her you'll try again, but remain standoffish. That way you label her as your girlfriend to her, but you go make her do all the work. Not only that, but also continue on to do as you please sexually as of you weren't in a relationship. She thinks you are happy, that way she gets happy, she does stuff for you, all the while you are cheating on her like she did to you. If she finds out, all is well, you had your fun.

Remember: do whatever the F*CK you wanna do.

Awesome

 

[jester1x]

In reality, you cannot trust any women. Anybody and/or anyone can cheat. It all depends on the circumstances (typically negative ones) that create an opportunity to do so.

If you want to continue seeing her then do so by all means. It's your life and your happiness. But, I'd tell her there is absolutely no reason to keep in touch with this subordinate coworker outside of the workplace. I'd tell her to transfer this guy out from under her supervision or she can possibly look for another job. It's a little extreme but her action/reaction will tell you everything you need to know about her. You could consider it a test of her attachment to you.

Lay down your boundaries for a relationship. Either she honors them or you drop her.

Personally, I wouldn't cheat and/or see any women on the side for the first month or so. Otherwise, you run the risk of justifying her hooking up with this subordinate coworker. You do it and you give her the green light to see another guy on the side.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've been dating and sleeping with this girl for 3 months. We both stay in the same building and see each other a lot. The first problem I had with her is that she had a couple of exs she was in contact with and I ended up dumping her for that. Just before I dumped her a guy 5 years younger than her who is also her subordinate at work(she's a manager) started hitting on her, and they communicate a lot over the phone. A couple of days after I dumped her she started begging me that we get back together, and during that time the youngster who was asking her out came to her place in the company of some other work colleagues to see her. That is when I found out about it him. To make the long story short we've been on and off since then and she has also been keeping in contact with this guy even though a source of mine who works with her and shares an apartment with her told me people at they're work place say they are dating but nothing happened between them(he is a friend of that young guy and the guy told him he hasn't slept with the girl yet). She used to call him and delete the entry from her call history so I wouldn't see it, but I found out about that when I tapped into her phone. She claims nothing really happned with him and she was only talking to him since i was very distant since the beginning and also because i wss always dumping her. She says she wants to change and that she loves me a lot and she has learnt from her mistake now that I've really dumped her. She's begging me to give her a chance and put the past behind. What should I do? I love her but I can never trust her again

Just seems she cant AVOID those conversations and the excessive attention? She's in the moment for how she "feels". It's autopilot
and a lot of those convo's might be "entertainment" only, of course if he says the right thing at the right time, your cheated on...