"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How to go NC when you have a kid?

Scars

Scars

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Man, it was so much easier in my younger days... if a ***** did me wrong, I just went NC immediately, and I was over it within a week or so... but with my baby mama I am forced to stay in contact with her because of the daughter we have together. I've been pretty good for the most, only keeping the conversations strictly around our daughter, never about "us", however I did slip up one night when I was drunk and she texted me and I ended up banging her (the got the clap, yay)... I really wish I could just NC for good. I'm in no position to take on my daughter full time, our joint custody arrangement is fine... but I am literally forced to talk to her and see her anytime I want to see my daughter. How do I got about this NC guys? What's even worse is when she calls my phone then immediately hands it to my 3 year old and starts talking wanting to come over, which is fine, but then I find out she is going out partying and being a ho.... I love my daughter, and I shouldn't care what my ex is doing... but the whole "watch my kid so I can go be a slut" thing just doesn't sit well with me... maybe there is still feelings there, and I am slightly jealous.. which is why I really need to go NC, but it's not %100 NC, and I believe it's why feelings are still there, and why I slipped up... I just don't know what to do. I wish there was an "off switch" in my brain. I mean, we keep the meetings casual, about the kids, and all that... but I am literally forced to see her and it just brings up a range of emotions at times I can't control.

For all the mature guys here with kids who are forced to see their exes, how do you deal?

Thanks
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Roober

Roober

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Keep all talk to the kids only. Be polite, but very short. Keep it to texts if you can. My exwife and I get along fairly well, although she has been reaching out more now that she found out my exgf and I broke up. We have young kids, so we see each other quite a bit at birthday parties or random events. Just keep your distance...
 
Scars

Scars

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Bro I get it. And I probably wouldn't care as much if there wasn't my kid involved.. but she's just doing a bunch of stupid **** right now.. blowing all her money on weed and partying, then has the balls to ask me to cover her for Xmas.. my daughter isn't stupid, she may be 3, but she gets it, and she already feels the neglect because she gets separation anxiety with me because her mom would rather smoker her brains out and talk on the phone for hours.. it just pisses me the **** off man. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I know my daughter is seeing all this, and thinks it's ok behavior... I realize one day she will be old enough to connect the dots herself one day, but she is still young and impressionable, so I'm not going to lie, it does piss me off.. but I can't express this to her mom without looking like a blue pilled beta *******, nor would she even listen to me anyway.
 
Roober

Roober

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Scars said:
Bro I get it. And I probably wouldn't care as much if there wasn't my kid involved.. but she's just doing a bunch of stupid **** right now.. blowing all her money on weed and partying, then has the balls to ask me to cover her for Xmas.. my daughter isn't stupid, she may be 3, but she gets it, and she already feels the neglect because she gets separation anxiety with me because her mom would rather smoker her brains out and talk on the phone for hours.. it just pisses me the **** off man. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I know my daughter is seeing all this, and thinks it's ok behavior... I realize one day she will be old enough to connect the dots herself one day, but she is still young and impressionable, so I'm not going to lie, it does piss me off.. but I can't express this to her mom without looking like a blue pilled beta *******, nor would she even listen to me anyway.
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If my ex did any of that, I would fight for more custody. Especially if you can show how it is affecting the child.
 
J

Jason887

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I lost my job and my wife dumped me. No funds to leave. I sleep in my daughters old bed in the basement. It could be worse brotha.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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