"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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low self esteem or character

Silko

Don Juan
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still struggling with the aftermath of a break-up 5 months ago.

I'm just wondering how much character whether a (too) low self-esteem is playing a game in order to heal yourself.

The emotions I'm experiencing are sometimes very scary ... like being anxious, like I can't drop this.
It's not all the time ... but sometimes ... I'm going very low and it takes maybe also too long to heal.

Not sure what things of my personality are playing here.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
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still struggling with the aftermath of a break-up 5 months ago.

I'm just wondering how much character whether a (too) low self-esteem is playing a game in order to heal yourself.

The emotions I'm experiencing are sometimes very scary ... like being anxious, like I can't drop this.
It's not all the time ... but sometimes ... I'm going very low and it takes maybe also too long to heal.

Not sure what things of my personality are playing here.
Sounds like a bit of depression. 5 months, you should be on the prowl for new ladies

If you have put your self worth in this girls opinion of you (aka still care what she thinks. Or want her back,) then you are delaying your own healing process.

Put the ex out of your mind. Have this mentality. A lady gets one chance per lifetime with me. She blew it. On to newnanf better ladies. Go date. Go spin plates. Get out there. The more ladies you interact with the better you will feel.
 

Silko

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 7, 2016
Messages
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Don't let some low self esteem woman spread her disease to you. That's how I look at it. She did all these things to you because of her issue and now you feel like she feels, maybe even thought about treating others the same way.
i think indeed i'm in this roulette of her ... saw it too late a bit. also my fault to cut off too late.

thx for speaking out
 
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