No contact or...?

[RicBoy]

Ex dumped me 3 times during a period of 3,5 years, we dated all together for 2 years. I got her back twice wrongly by breaking NC. Last time after 5 months NC, she was the one contacting me after she heard I spoke to one of our mutual friends. We hangout 2 months, had sex, and agreed being friends with benefits.

Couple of weeks ago I called her, she said she started seeing someone couple of days ago so no more ****ing around and is looking for a relationship and real love (she is a single mom) and knows already with me is only sex because she doesn't love me. Im ok just with sex even though I have some feelings. She said she would call if it wouldn't work out with this new guy or if in the future she would be single to resume friends with benefits. She also said it would feel weird to talk to me while she is seeing someone, so for me not to call her. I said ok... Should I go NC forever? Or maybe check in on her once a month or so to check if she is single?

 

[Billtx49]

She dumped you 3 times in 3.5 years… Why are you still thinking about her and asking what you should do in this situation? She should be beyond your rear view mirror by now.

 

[Fireballs]

C'mon man have some fuking self respect .. delete her number and delete/block her from everything .. and ask yourself why you are accepting this behaviour from her because this is your problem

 

[Glassguy]

C'mon man have some fuking self respect .. delete her number and delete/block her from everything .. and ask yourself why you are accepting this behaviour from her because this is your problem

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Word of advise: she knows you're wrapped around her pinky finger and wants it that way. If these new romances don't work out she can always fall back on you. Go out and date, but be ready for her to make a charge at you when she finds out you're seeing other people. She won't want to lose her grip on you. Be prepared to say "I'm not in love with you" and kick this b1tch to the curb. ASAP!

Come on man...get your balls back!

 

[dude99]

Ex dumped me 3 times during a period of 3,5 years, we dated all together for 2 years. I got her back twice wrongly by breaking NC. Last time after 5 months NC, she was the one contacting me after she heard I spoke to one of our mutual friends. We hangout 2 months, had sex, and agreed being friends with benefits.

Couple of weeks ago I called her, she said she started seeing someone couple of days ago so no more ****ing around and is looking for a relationship and real love (she is a single mom) and knows already with me is only sex because she doesn't love me. Im ok just with sex even though I have some feelings. She said she would call if it wouldn't work out with this new guy or if in the future she would be single to resume friends with benefits. She also said it would feel weird to talk to me while she is seeing someone, so for me not to call her. I said ok... Should I go NC forever? Or maybe check in on her once a month or so to check if she is single?

You are her plan b. She basicslly told you in her women speak that you're to be her beta play toy on the shelf until she feels the need to pull you down and play with.

Why did you give her a chancr to dump you a second time or even a 3rd time. You basically taught this girl that she owns you. She is the alpha and you are the beta.

Walk away. No contact. Have nothing to do with her ever again. She will ignore you while smashing other guys, then when the well runs dry call you. Basically this last stint of calling you friends with benefits then telling you the ****king is over was her dumping you for a 4th time.

Stop this merry go round. Man up. Walk away from her for good.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I'd drop her based on just her arrogance alone. When I'm done f-ing this guy, I'll call you? Screw that. Adios to her. I continually get amazed at the crap they pull and then I realize that they do it because so many men allow them to

 

[RicBoy]

Sounds like good advice..thanks guys

 

[El Payaso]

You're nothing but a tool she can exploit at her will.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Never speak with her again unless it's her idea to come over to your place to taste your *** in her mouth. Forget about this woman.

 

[RicBoy]

You're nothing but a tool she can exploit at her will.

What do you recommend then? No contact?

 

[RicBoy]

I hear you...I doubt she will contact anyways...If she calls I will probably bang her...
I gave some thought in reaching out every 2 months or so to see if she is single again and resume FWB but I guess that would be weak? If she wanna **** she will call right?

I was weak, Last time she reached out after 5 months NC, I asked for coffee, she said she sees no point...then I said sex? She said ok...And we slept couple of times but she said she would continue looking for another guy because she wants to find love. Eventually she met someone 2 months later. I told her to call me if things wouldn't workout with the new guy and she said she knows what I have to offer and want from her and she could possible call to be FWB if she would be single sometime...I know i was pathetic...

 

[Reykhel]

I hear you...I doubt she will contact anyways...If she calls I will probably bang her...
I gave some thought in reaching out every 2 months or so to see if she is single again and resume FWB but I guess that would be weak? If she wanna **** she will call right?

I was weak, Last time she reached out after 5 months NC, I asked for coffee, she said she sees no point...then I said sex? She said ok...And we slept couple of times but she said she would continue looking for another guy because she wants to find love. Eventually she met someone 2 months later. I told her to call me if things wouldn't workout with the new guy and she said she knows what I have to offer and want from her and she could possible call to be FWB if she would be single sometime...I know i was pathetic...

You've got the man's interest level (yours on one side) and the woman's interest level on the other....

Probably one of the biggest mistakes the average guy on the street makes with women is that he is too focused on HIS INTEREST LEVEL and
not paying enough attention to HER INTEREST LEVEL.....

When your interest level is higher than hers she picks up on this and knows instinctively that HAS THE LOWER INTEREST HAS THE POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP.......

As a man, you simply must maintain your interest level at a lower level than hers. Not just to have the power but because women love differently than men. A woman's love is based on adoration and respect and it's difficult to respect and adore someone who is fawning all over you (which is what men do when their interest level is through the roof.)

Learn self control and learn the art of detachment to maintain your interest level at a healthy level.

Now, as for your situation. You're displaying to her that you need her more than she needs you. You have no power in this relationship. Going from relationship to fwb is muddying the waters. Better to make a clean break. If a woman breaks off the relationship once it means that her interest level must be at an incredibly low level. Think about it: would you break up with someone if you had high interest level. Once she says it's over once, the logical thing to do would be never to look back. Why? because to go back to someone with low interest level is setting yourself up to be dumped again. Which is exactly what happened in your case and happens constantly.

Develop the ability to say NO. ENOUGH.

Demand more from life.

She knows you are at her beck and call. If she contacts you, then "you will bang her". Show some self control and self respect.

Learn to walk away from a bad deal.

 

[wifehunter]

I agree, if you're not happy with the situation. Best thing to do is walk away.

 

[RicBoy]

You've got the man's interest level (yours on one side) and the woman's interest level on the other....

Probably one of the biggest mistakes the average guy on the street makes with women is that he is too focused on HIS INTEREST LEVEL and
not paying enough attention to HER INTEREST LEVEL.....

When your interest level is higher than hers she picks up on this and knows instinctively that HAS THE LOWER INTEREST HAS THE POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP.......

As a man, you simply must maintain your interest level at a lower level than hers. Not just to have the power but because women love differently than men. A woman's love is based on adoration and respect and it's difficult to respect and adore someone who is fawning all over you (which is what men do when their interest level is through the roof.)

Learn self control and learn the art of detachment to maintain your interest level at a healthy level.

Now, as for your situation. You're displaying to her that you need her more than she needs you. You have no power in this relationship. Going from relationship to fwb is muddying the waters. Better to make a clean break. If a woman breaks off the relationship once it means that her interest level must be at an incredibly low level. Think about it: would you break up with someone if you had high interest level. Once she says it's over once, the logical thing to do would be never to look back. Why? because to go back to someone with low interest level is setting yourself up to be dumped again. Which is exactly what happened in your case and happens constantly.

Develop the ability to say NO. ENOUGH.

Demand more from life.

She knows you are at her beck and call. If she contacts you, then "you will bang her". Show some self control and self respect.

Learn to walk away from a bad deal.

What do I do in this particular situation then? No contact until she calls and bang her? If I do then, continue to wait she calls for more sex and never initiate?

Or should I just tell her it's all or nothing for a relationship?

 

[RicBoy]

"Ex dumped me 3 times during a period of 3,5 years,"


WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD DO?

I know, but she said we could be **** buddies it she wasn't dating anyone.. Right now she is seeing someone, that's what she told me a month ago. It's been NC since..

 

[Dingo]

We recommend you delete her number, wipe her off your social media and do not respond to her texts etc.

Read this 100 times

And 100 times more if necessary...

 

[RicBoy]

You really hate yourself don't you? You have absolutely no self-respect , no self-esteem, you don't value your self at all.

You wait like a stray dog at a single mother's door, after she has treated you like schitt, begging, for her to toss you a scrap.

Laughable.

I got u man...Problem is if she texts me in few months for sex I wont be able to not respond...thats the problem...I will probably end up banging her...
To be honest during the 2 months in the summer we were FWB, it was pretty much me texting her every 2 weeks for sex and she never really initiated...i found myself being too intensive around her pressuring her to meet more for sex and she said I dont know how to take things casually...eventually she met this guy anyways few days later and dropped me...

Anyways, thanks for the replies...

 

[RicBoy]

Allright, I guess you have your question answered then. You will continue to be a doormat

U seem like u know what ur talking about..ill try my best then ...thanks

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I can't judge because I've been where you are and in fact I'm kind of there now, except that I have 4 months of NC under my belt. It's tough when they reach out to you, but I've survived 3 attempts by her to touch base, so there is that. You gotta be strong and get some other women going in order to better and more quickly forget about her.

 

[RicBoy]

I guess its time to one way trip to North Carolina...